Episode 170 Transcription – Dr. Joe Sevlie and Tyler Sevlie

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:02:49] Sometimes it is helpful to actually go back a step. So, Joe, just to talk for a moment about your dad, what you experienced when you were a kid at home and from your dad, that you, areas either that you decided I want to replicate that Ford or any areas that you’re like, no, actually, I chose a different course for my family.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:03:05] So my dad was unsaved until about three months before he died. He came to Christ, shared the gospel with me, gave his life to Christ three months before he died of liver cancer. But long story short, he worked the second shift. So he was gone the majority of my formative years because he was providing for the family, going to work at three and working till midnight. And we would come home from school, you know, eight to 3:00. And so I didn’t see my dad much. I saw him on weekends a little bit. And he was a good man and I loved my dad. And though I didn’t ever have a true from my perspective, heart connect the heart connect began to start six, eight months before he died. I went to Promise Keepers in 1990 and my dad had died in 88. And in 86 and 87, I was becoming aware that I didn’t have that relationship with my own father. And I knew I needed more of a connection than what I had. I also had a twin brother. Neither of us really had that really tight connection. But my brother, my twin brother had more of a connection with my dad. And it was interesting. When we were small as twins, my dad always took my brother and my mother always took me. And so I had the closest relationship with my mother and my brother had the closest relationship with my father. So I can’t say I had a real connect with my dad. Honestly, it was just beginning to be developed 86 and 87. He died in 88. He had just gotten saved. And so I honestly, I didn’t feel like I had a role model. Yeah. And so and he did his best and I, I get that. And he was a good man. He was faithful to my mother. He loved my mom. And so I’m super thankful for that example.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:05:05] Let’s go into that topic of heart connect the you mentioned a heart connection, something you didn’t have, but you desire to give to your kids. And I even know this is one of the areas that you have affirmed in Tyler that he has these heart connections with his kids. So coach both of us together, even though you’ve done some of this with Tyler already, coach us on what you mean by a heart connection, a heart connect, and ways that we could maybe step into more intentionality with our our kids.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:05:30] So, for example, Heart Connect means that your kids really know that you love them and you’re there for them and you care and you got their back. And I think the heart connect for me. I mean, multiple examples of all of our kids played sports and on multiple example as a dad, and we probably put a greater emphasis on sports than maybe what was healthy. But we I thought sports was important because you can learn all kinds of things through sports. But on multiple occasions, I think as father’s you know, you have to run interference for your children. And so there’s there were breaches in respect from coaches towards my children and teachers even over the years that I needed to go have a very, very straight up conversation with the teacher or the coach on how they handled their relationship with my son or daughter. And I remember time and time and time again having to go to the high school, make the phone call, talk to someone because of a breach in trust that happened. So I would encourage all dads. You got to run interference no matter what it is for your kids, for whatever they’re involved in, because you are you are their covering. So so that would be one thing. The other thing that I think is like vitally important in regards to raising kids and creating that heart connect is for us as a family. It happened around the dinner table. We always had a dinner together. We had a story and we wrote about read about different famous missionaries. We talked about not dating, but courting. We didn’t let our kids date in high school. That was not allowed. That was off limits because we we knew it would just create heart pain. And we didn’t want that for any of our kids because they weren’t old enough to really understand the responsibility related to the relationship like that and that type of thing. So dinnertime, critical time, heart connect. The other time that I think is just so vital is bedtime and and. It’s when you’re the most tired, end of the day, you don’t have a lot in the tank necessarily as a parent, but but I mean, every when we were up at Tyler’s a week and a half, two weeks ago, what I do with my grandkids is. I’ve come up with JP, Jack and the little boy, and I tell him bedtime stories about JP Jack and the little boy and the king and the king represents Jesus, JP and Jack and the little boy. And my hope and prayer is, is that as my grandchildren get older, they’ll remember, you know, those stories about JP Jack and Papa Joe, you know, trying you trying to share biblical values in the context of making up your story. And and the kids are so attentive at bedtime because they really don’t want to go to bed a lot of the time and they might not be totally exhausted. And so they want you to just hang out with them. And so those were the two most critical times in our household to make the hard connect beyond just doing stuff together, you know, just doing sports and whatever.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:08:57] Yeah. What I would say to dinner times were raucous in our house. I mean, it was we I still remember like how just how like how loud it would get. But it was fun. Like it was like that was where you know, those were like the culture of our family was formed I think. And now what’s really interesting is so we’ve got. So the of the seven of us five are married and all of the spouses as they’ve come in have been like one, like you guys have a really open and transparent family culture. Like to the point. I know. So Daniel, my sister’s sister’s husband. So he’s my brother in law and he’s a great guy. He he he told me what he’s like. Yeah. I think most people if they said the things that your family says to each other, they’d be like trying to really hurt each other. But in your family, it’s just that’s just you’re just being honest and you’re just telling you just being you know, it’s just part of the family culture is really that openness. And I think that’s something that happened around the dinner table, just being just like it was it was loud. It was I think raucous is the word for it. But it was also like

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:10:12] I feel like very intentional though. Oh, yeah. And I just had to be highly intentional in regards to what we were trying to release and impart and and and

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:10:23] what were some of those things because because for me it’s funny now because I we have dinner together every night and I’m trying to be like, OK, what are my spots I can like impart some stuff. So what were some of the things you.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:10:34] Well, so the big thing was, is the importance of the dating issue was a concern for us because we knew if they hooked up with the wrong people early, prematurely, that that would potentially alter the course of their life for the remainder of their lifetime. So that was something we talked about not dating. We read books about it. We talked about what it looks like to court and all that. We also talked about, just read godly stories about godly people at the end of I mean, we had books and books and books and books from Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson, etc. And so we’d always read stories at the end of our meal time and Little House on the Prairie and, you know, those kinds of things and then talk about them and answer questions. And Jonathan, I mean, it’s interesting.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:11:25] He’s fifth and

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:11:26] fifth on the line. John is the fifth, but he is in missions work full time right now. And some of the seven kids we, Tammy and I were only going to have three. So I would say this to all the listeners, don’t limit God, you see, in regards to the number of children that God calls you to have. So we were really happy with three. So our best friends up the street had two sons, same age as Tyler and Ben, and then they had a daughter the same age as Hope. And so we were happy. We had friends right up the street. They had somebody to play with. Bah bah bah. It was all great. But when we inquired of the Lord on what he wanted,

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:12:03] you sensing theme, there’s a theme there.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:12:04] He said, he said, no, you’re not done. And OK, so I’m going to I’m going to condense the story, but to make a long story short, we had,

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:12:15] he said, have a daughter named Ruth Grace.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:12:17] Yeah. So we went to a Passion for Jesus conference in Kansas City. And at that three day weekend, the Lord spoke to me, said, Joe, you’re not done with three kids. You’re going to have another. Her name is going to be Ruth Grace. Tammy is going to need your help during that. And he gave me kind of a list of things that need to be paid attention to. So then I shared that with her and she said, I’m in. And she said, whatever God wants, that’s what we’re going to do. We’re not going to limit him. We’re not going to do three. We’re going to do whatever he says. And so we went into the batter’s box three different times, nine years later, and we still didn’t have Ruth, three boys and three little boys. But interesting is, is is that all three of those little boys are in ministry. Yeah. So, God, God wanted these three boys and he put his hand on their life and has called them. And not that we’re not all in ministry. We’re all in ministry towers in ministry. You’re in ministry. I’m in ministry. We’re all in ministry. But formal ministry, you know, more formal. He called them into more formal ministry. And so my expectation is

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:13:28] to finish the story. This is the best part. Let’s go.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:13:31] Well, the last part was, is that Ruth? So I went to Promise Keepers again over a number of years. And I was after three little boys, I was done. So now we had six kids and five sons and a daughter. And I was done like, I’m done. I said, God, I’m done. And I remember sitting on my front steps saying, God, I can’t do this. This is like over the top. Six kids.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:13:56] I remember I remember you writing like before, like Jonathan was born like welcome Ruth Grace in chalk on the sidewalk, and then, Nope.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:14:05] Yeah, so was Jonathan. So what happened was is went to Promise Keepers and I’m worshiping and I’m done having kids and there’s 10000 guys. This was down in Des Moines and I’m sure Lord, I love you, Lord. Whatever you want for my life, Lord, I’m here to serve. I don’t I want to honor you and I feel like I get tapped on the shoulder. And I actually turned and looked to see if somebody tapped me and nobody tapped me. Everybody’s worshiping. And then in my head I hear Joe, I haven’t forgotten about Ruth, have you? Very clearly that was have you forget? And I thought, right. And so I, I repented on the spot and then said, yes, and then came home and I couldn’t tell my wife what happened about having another child. I couldn’t do it so that. So then what happened was about three months later, I just felt like the pressure of God was just like putting the screws down, the pressure. He’d spoken and I was running from the call, you know, and he said he said, you need to talk to her. So I told her and again, she said, honey, if that’s what God wants, I’m in. And then I said, I can’t do this. So then a couple more months go by. We go to a prayer meeting at church and there’s a lady sitting in the room about this size, you know, 14 by 14 or whatever, and there’s about 20 people in this little room and this lady and church’s pastor, I think I have a word from the Lord, could I share it? And he says, sure. So she stands up. This girl is usually really quiet and she stands up and she says in the veins, you know, these three veins right here in the forehead start sticking out. No joke. And she says, you stiff necked people. She says, you do. You say you’ll do whatever I ask when you’re in my presence and you leave my presence and you do only what you want to do. Whoa. And I felt like I just got, like, really spanked. And so I repent on the spot. We came home, got pregnant that night and probably and and then Tammy had a miscarriage. And then we had to try a couple more times. But then nine months later, we never had an ultrasound. But Ruth was born. So it was over nine years from the time prophesied that Ruth was going to be born with three little boys in between. And now we have 15 grandchildren. And, you know, so long story short. Don’t live in your own understanding it, if you live in your own understanding, you’re going to miss it. If you live it in God’s understanding, through the power of the Holy Spirit, in his presence, he will make everything clear and he’ll provide and he’ll do his gig.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:17:03] It’s wild. We’re talking about heart connections. And then this story, which is a heart connection story with our heavenly father to guide us in growing your family.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:17:13] Like what? And being obedient.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:17:16] Yeah. Yeah. Without it, I mean, we’re going to end without hearing his voice. And then when you hear it, do what he says.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:17:21] Well, yeah, he says if you love me, you’ll obey my command. And love is obedience is the highest form of love in God’s economy. Yeah.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:17:31] Wow. I’d love to jump to you, Tyler, around the theme of heart connections.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:17:35] So it’s it’s interesting hearing you talk about even like you said, obedience is the it’s like the highest form of love in God’s economy. So as part of my journey. So, you know, spiritual slavery to Spiritual Sonship by Jack Frost reading the book. You gave it to me, Jeff. And it was just like I was like I was like, oh, my gosh, this is my heart. And it’s not where it should be or not where it could be, not where I want it to be. And so part of that process was like going to you, Dad, and saying, hey, I want to as your son, I want to come under your leadership. And there’s a and what’s been so interesting, so I think I was like, so what is your vision for our family? And I don’t think you had an answer because it was like we hadn’t we just hadn’t thought in those terms before as a family. And but then it was like a few months later, we were all it was it was Christmas. And they were like, hey, based on what you’ve we put together a vision for our family. And so it was it was three things, if I recall correctly, it was we tell the people about Jesus because that doing that so telling others about Jesus is statistically one of the greatest predictors of your own kids loving Jesus. And I can say, I mean, speaking, coming back to the dinner table. I remember you coming home. There’s something I to do with my kids do is you’d come home like I got to share Jesus with this person today or, you know, saw this person come to the Lord, I got to pray for this person and pray with this person. So just trying, you know, trying to be open about that. And so that was one thing. The second thing was we memorize the word together, which that was. I think you guys laid this out like three years ago, I want to say three or four years ago. Yeah. And that’s not something that I really got into until the last two months. But we’re doing it now, which has been really cool. And the third thing is, ah, you wanted to have 50 grand kids.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:19:40] three years ago, you shared. That’s part of your family vision, is to have 50

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:19:44] grand kids love to see 50 grand children in current county. And we’re only at 15, 15. We get 35 to go, baby.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:19:53] So what about that? Well, it was shared.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:19:55] So so here’s. So what was funny is, um. What’s funny is so for Vanessa and I, so at that point, we had three and we’ve

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:20:09] doubled in three years. What a man, amen.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:20:12] This is all making more sense now.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:20:13] Yeah, right. Well, well, so what’s interesting is so so at that point, so Vanessa and I, we had chosen from the beginning of our marriage to take the approach of like, hey, all right, Lord, like. We’re not going to ask you to bless us and then say no to some of your blessings, specifically kids, right? Like if you want to have a bunch of kids. All right. You can provide the time and the resources and everything else, we’re going to trust you on that. And he has. But we had. It was interesting because, I mean, I was after two, I was like, oh, this is good. Like, I’m like, this is great. But as I kept having kids, it’s like this is also awesome, but it’s way more intense. And we’ve had them closer together. You guys were two or three years and then. Yeah, me and my siblings to three years. We’ve been like 18 to 20 months. But you get them in and you get them, they’ll go off and do their thing. We get to have grandkids. It’s going to be Vanessa and I sooner. You know, so I’m OK with that. But all that to say, what’s been interesting is trying to. So first off, coming to you say, hey, what’s the vision? And then coming under that vision of like. It was interesting because right away I was like seven kids, like, I don’t know about that, you know, and then. But it was what I’m trying remember exactly how it went, because basically what happened was last year, about this time last year, Vanessa and I were praying about it because we had had five. At that point, I was like, OK, Lord, like we like we we both feel good. Like we like our family the way it’s set up right now. And if we’re done, we’re done. That’s OK. You know, but we really felt like in prayer, we both felt like independently was like No. Two more. And I was like, OK, I guess, I guess is what we’re going to do. And so now, you know, we’ve got number six on the way and we’re planning on having a seventh after that. But it’s just so interesting because that I, I, I’m convinced that part of that is because you put that vision out there. And so I don’t know Vanessa jokes. Sometimes it’s just like, Joe, I’m doing my part, you know, I’m doing my part. Yeah. But what’s funny is I think for her, and I think what’s been interesting for me is I’ve had to lead her into coming out, being a part of that, too. You know, like there’s been times where she’s like I think she’s been a little frustrated with, like, oh, gosh, like. You wanted to be under your dad and like, I love your dad, but like this is this is a lot of kids, you know, and so I just I think coming back to the idea of obedience being the being the highest form of love in God’s economy, I think there’s. One thing that’s been interesting to see is how it I haven’t felt like I’ve never been like, oh my gosh, I got to obey my dad’s vision. It’s been like

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:23:07] it was an invitation.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:23:08] Exactly. Yes, exactly. And I feel like when you and I were talking about this, you know, the drive down, even accepting that invitation, like, it’s just so funny how. Even even in the last couple of months, since the kids have started memorizing Bible Bibles and like I’m not I’m not like some wizard with the stuff, we just around the dinner table will practice it and do funny actions with the Bible verses. But like Sophia, my she’s going to be three on Thursday. She can recite all of Psalm 1 like, you know, it’s eight verses, but it’s like she’s like loves it, you know? And Walter, he’s a little older. He’s a little bit more like he’s a little cooler, you know, he’s not sure about it sometimes, but like. You know, they all can do it and like. It’s it’s what’s been so funny is as at the same time. Like we’ve seen like a financial blessing. Like each step that I’ve taken closer to following the vision you laid out. I feel like God’s honored that, but like financial blessing with blessings in my marriage, where, like Vanessa and I go like. The trust just like expands, not just like the little the usual suspects, like it takes like a leap forward and or like my relationship with my kids and my love for in my love for my kids. You know, it takes that leap forward. And so thank you first off, for setting the vision for being willing to own that, but also just how like. I’m just, like, thankful to the Lord, right, to just think that he like it’s like I know you’re not the one giving me these blessings, it’s the father. You mean it flows down, right? Reflecting back. Looking up. Yeah, that’s what I’m seeing.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:24:52] Whenever you can discover what’s in the heart of your child, what brings them joy. Yeah. And you do it with them. Yeah. You know, I didn’t and I didn’t really understand that so well. So yeah, I really enjoyed basketball and so I just had everybody play basketball and I like basketball. Certainly I liked it. So we do it together and

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:25:12] I enjoy it now.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:25:13] Whether whether you liked it or not, that was that was the gig we did together with Dad. Right. So but if you can discover what that is in your child’s heart and connect on that level, if that’s their passion and do it with them and you play with your kid, I mean, just playing with your kid is where heart connection happens. As a grandparent, we want we were at our. Second son’s house last Friday, and we just had a great time and we were putting I was putting the girls to bed four and two and she’s the oldest Brooklyn, said Papa Joe. Are you staying overnight? And I said, No, honey, we’re going to go home tonight. And she says, Can’t you stay tomorrow and play? And, you know, when they want you to just hang out and you’ve made that heart connect. Yeah. You know, something really was deposited. Yeah.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:26:08] You know, that’s part of my journey Tyler that my dad going to heaven a couple, you know, 100 week battle with cancer, him going to heaven caused my heart to connect deeper with his heart in some some of some dads listening. It was a health journey with your dad that caused some heart connections to increase. And I think, I think our Heavenly Father treasures that. And it was a treasure as a gift for me to have that that journey. But I from being good friends with you, Tyler, know about your journey, had nothing to do with a health journey. Your journey had instead, the Holy Spirit had stirred up a desire. And actually the medium that that formed and some of it with my dad was the same was through a written letter. But you were inspired to write a letter to your dad that brought another level of depth and love for you to talk about. Why did you choose to write that letter and how has it affected going deeper?

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:27:01] I was inspired by so John Tyson. He is a pastor of the Church of the City in New York. He was. And he has a curriculum called the Primal Path. I heard about that three or four years ago now. And I’ve been like trying to, like, build my own version of it ever since. And it’s been really it’s been really cool to processors. And I know you and I obviously you and I’ve been working on this. But, you know, he talked about writing a letter to his dad, and I really liked how he framed. He was kind of like, yeah, because his so what happened was his son wrote him a letter first. When they’re going through this process of like, hey, I want to teach you how to be a man. And he said it was just like, oh, my gosh, you know? And so he wrote a letter to his dad with the thought as I was like, you know. How he opened it, he said, was like, dear dad, you know, like. Now that I have my own son and now you’re seeing me raise my hands and I’m sure you wondering like. How how did you do raising me essentially like and I wanted to let you know what kind of what I’m seeing, and so just hearing that I heard something in me and so, yeah, just having done that. And then I was like, I got to I got to do this. And even the process of writing it, it was it was, it was it was like a I remember feeling like this kind of like a holy moment, like it was like a special moment to do. You mean just to write it. You know, did a couple of drafts to make sure I was saying what I wanted to say and. I feel like I don’t know, I think it opened up. I think you shared a side of yourself with me that I had maybe never seen before, maybe like a level of vulnerability around. Your own dad and like your own your own self, I mean, I know for me, like, there’s all sorts of insecurities being a father, right? And I and. You know, I’m sure you saw this with your dad. It’s hard to know your dad in that way. And I just I really like Cherish doesn’t really capture it. I really cherish you. But that’s as close as I can get. I really like I will remember that for most of my life walking around. Yeah. Doing that walk where we shared it.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:29:22] Listen to me, knowing that you were going through this whole process of writing the letter. Yeah. And then, you know, just whether it was a month or two ago, like to share in some of the like your joy in it, just the level you treasured a letter back that you wrote your son back. Yeah. And maybe I’ll let Joe jump in for a minute about the idea of exchanging intentional letters. I don’t think that was your intent was not a letter back, but. Yeah. How did how did that stir you?

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:29:51] Well, so what happened was back in 2006, I think it was church had letters from dad ministry come. Have you heard of letters from Dad? I have heard of it, yeah. Greg Vonne. Yeah. And I had that book on. I’ve wanted to do that and I’ve written a few letters to a couple of the kids.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:30:09] You wrote one like when I got married. There’s been other times too and I’ve really I’ve saved them all.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:30:14] And and so I’ve written a couple of letters and I was in my den and I saw the book sitting on the on the bookshelf again and it was like, I need I need to write Tyler back. And and what was interesting was, is, you know, in the cover of his book, Letters from Dad, he writes how he Greg Von. His father passed, died, and the only thing he had and was left was his fishing equipment and he was in his garage and he had his dad’s fishing. He never he didn’t even have his signature. And I remember thinking about that and thinking about my own dad, I don’t even have my dad’s signature, I don’t have a letter from my father. I don’t have anything. I have a couple of letters from my mother when I was gone and she wrote me, but nothing for my father. And it’s like, you know, I need to get re-internationalized again on this process and really share my heart and all that our kids are older and they now can appreciate more than ever what it is to be a parent and what it is to be a dad or mom or whatever. And so it’s like I’m writing Tyler back . And so that was that was what prompted that again And I’m super thankful I’m back in the batter’s box. I’m writing one right now.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:31:37] You know, it’s interesting that one of the anchor verses, the last verse in the Old Testament, Malachi, talks about the hearts of the fathers returning the kids in the hearts of the kids returning to their fathers. And and even though that letter was hard, if I even think about my voice in the life of my little girls and my dad’s voice in my life, like, would we rather as dads be dads who step into what’s hard and step into making more of those heart connections you talked about step into the turning of hearts. That is I mean, it’s easy. And especially that first letter, I’m certain most people listening. Most dads like taking the time to write a first letter. If they haven’t done that could be a very painful process. And the encouragement is actually, even if your dad is is dead, to still write a letter because there’s something really healing about connecting, taking that step of heart connection, even in a way of honoring him or in some ways saying these were things that were hard and speaking that side.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:32:34] Or trying to get closure.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:32:36] Yeah. The idea of making daily deposits, the idea of seizing moment and staying intentional are some of the themes that popped off the pages of your letter to to your son, Tyler. And I just love to hear both of you guys reflect on, man, what are what are some things just you can speak right to me here. Just a nudge of you can do it like the encourage. I can see you guys eyes that you’re both very encouraging to me as a young dad. But like, what would you want to share to me and the other dads listening? Any topics that would just be helpful as we take another step forward and trusting our Heavenly Father and being an intentional dad, being dadAWESOME is the way we say it. So I love to go either either one of you guys with just some general wisdom.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:33:20] Well, I think in regards to daughters, I think John Eldridge wrote his books Wild at Heart and the one with the daughters. I don’t know. Have you read any of them?

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:33:30] So fathered by God is when that read and wild at heart. But we can link out.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:33:34] His wife. His wife wrote one about daughter daughters.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:33:38] I’ll look it up.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:33:39] And and what she said is what’s so crucial for a daughter is his dad needs to tell them how beautiful they are. If they understand they’re beautiful in dad’s eyes, they have their self-image and who they are. They can then received love from their heavenly father. They can really receive love from their dad. They need to hear that from dad daily. Daily, just like our wives need to let we need to let them know how beautiful we think our wives are, even after 38 years. And so that’s number one as daughters being very intentional, letting them know that. And for sons, I think the big one is, is and I got this from John Alridge, but he says, Wild at heart, he says, as fathers because every son, he says, has some level of fatherhood. Yeah. And we’re all wounded. We’re all broken. We’re all wounded. And Jesus is the only one that can heal those wounds. And as a father who wants to be intentional is making sure your sons know that they got what it takes to get it done with the help of Jesus Christ, you don’t try to do stuff on your own, but with Jesus, all things are possible. And so, you know, I remember as a younger man, you know, seeing the kids, Tyler and Ben, on their kind of those bikes, you guys used textbooks, you know, the BMX bikes and hop the curbs and doing the stuff and all that kind of stuff. Is it you know, you just tell them, look, you got what it takes. You can do this. And as as a father, we’re all broken in our different ways. The other. But if you just stay in the batter’s box, you don’t quit and you give up, you will reap a harvest. You know what I’m saying? The other thing is, is, is that. As a dad, one of the most intentional things you can do, whether father, son is when you screw up and we all screw up, you go to your child and you say, look, I’m really sorry I missed it. Will you forgive me? And, you know, the kids are always just like, so willing to forgive, not like adults and not like adults. And so staying connected heart wise and and making sure they know when you screw up, you know that and and you make it right between you and them, I don’t think he can ever go wrong. So cheering him on, letting your daughter know she’s beautiful. If you screw up saying, look, I’m really sorry, it’s good, I’m going to do better, I want to do better, and with Jesus help, I’ll do better. And and always bringing Jesus back into the equation with your kids because they know that he is the source from whom dad gets everything from. So then ultimately when they move out, they’re looking towards him. Yeah. You know, and they still look towards you, but they look towards him to.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:36:38] Yeah. Thank thank you very, very helpful. Tyler, what would you add things that just encourage me. Nudge me, challenge me I think.

 

Tyler Sevlie [00:36:47] Well and this is something I got from you too is you always say, well you told me many times, Jesus Christ is the sweetest person I’ve ever met, the kindest person I’ve ever met. Yeah. And I just like. That’s so true. I just. See, I’ve seen that in your life. Um, just like you enjoy how kind he is. Mm hmm. And you regularly like a reconnect, like you go back to him and spend time with him and you get refreshed with that kindness. And, uh. You know, I love the stories of your walks around Bay Point and just, you know, like walking with Jesus, holding hands with Jesus, stuff like that. And just like I just like when I said at the beginning of the conversation, like, that’s what I aspire to. That is what I aspire to, just walk in with him. And so I just. Like, I feel like that the lesson I learned from you in that respect, and this is what I tell anyone, is like you never regret that work. You never regret that work and that. And again, not that like. Like being hyper spiritual isn’t the antidote to everything, of course, so you’ve got to take care of your body, you’ve got to take care of your mind, you got to take care of your relationships. But like it all just so much easier when you’re in touch with that kindness. And I that’s I mean, it’s funny because I was talking with another dad this morning, you know, got together a cup of coffee with them and we had a wonderful conversation. And the thing that. You know, we were just talking about he was like, what are some of the practical things, right, that you do? And it’s like you just spend time with like you just spend time with them. But you just like you have these little markers throughout the day almost where it’s like, oh, like my feet just touch the ground. I’m going to say the Lord’s Prayer, like as I get out of bed or. All right. Like for me sometimes like if I see one, two, three, four on the clock, silly as it might sound, I pray for Vanessa or like. As part of going to bed, we that’s part of our bedtime routine, we pray for the specific prayers for our kids. We only pray the same thing pretty much every night, you know, and there’s things that God told us to call out of their identity. And like, if I’m going to live this life of prayer and sitting with the Lord and resting with him, then I just got to have these little triggers throughout my house and throughout when I get on my bike or when I. When I go to bed, you know, when the lying down, getting up, you know, as you come into your house, as you leave your house, is it’s that sort of stuff that I think turns into all of a sudden it’s like I’ve got this life of prayer. Right. And I think that’s for me. Then then everything else can flow out. And that’s something I’ve seen in you. And I just yeah, I honor that. And it’s just been it’s that’s that’s what I’d say. And then because then everything else, because then you can you can spend the time inquiring of the Lord like you said, you know, and you can have that confidence like. Oh yeah. I might not like what I’m hearing, but I’m hearing from him or he’s confirming what I already had my heart to do, so that’s it. It all starts there. I think in the hard work.

 

Jeff Zaugg [00:40:02] This conversation has been rich and it’s a gift to me. And I don’t want the the guys listening to miss this because of my friendship with you, Tyler, I have not only gotten everything that you are and you have in your I like your path of leading your family into and what God’s done in your heart and your life. But I actually have been given the gift of you, Joe, because of brotherhood with your. So it is it’s just so easy to miss out on the fact that we don’t. Friendships are not just friendships for who they are, but it’s the ripple effect, the generational gift of a dad who’s loving and investing and leading and has a vision for a family. The I get to benefit from the ripple effect of that. And that’s how I want to end this time is actually asking you, Joe, to pray for Tyler and pray for me, OK? Pray for us. And of course, the listeners listening will get prayed over as well, which is a short prayer of blessing over us as we seek to walk in hearing the voice of God and doing what he says.

 

Dr. Joe Sevlie [00:41:01] Lord we just thank you for this time together. Lord, I pray for Tyler and Jeff. Lord, the Bible says that when you’re for us, as fathers, as husbands, there’s nothing that can be against us where there’s no weapon formed against Tyler. Jeff, their families, their children, their marriages that can prosper because each of their lives are hidden in Christ and hidden in God’s Lord’s. We hide ourselves. Or I pray that Jeff and Tyler could hide themselves in the shadow of the Almighty Lord as father’s Lord, as Tyler just shared. That would be the first place that they run to. And Lord, knowing that, Lord, you’ve got them covered. You’ve got their children covered, Lord, you’ve got their concerns covered, Lord, everything. And Lord, the Bible says that the steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord. You’ll be a lamb to their feet and a light to their path. Lord, I’m asking that there would be such a clear lighting to that lamp of fatherhood and husband hood lord for each of them. Lord, that that light burning bright through the power of the Holy Spirit would be so clear, Lord, and so bright and so distinct, Lord, that there’s no way they can miss it. Or they and they know that. That you’ve got them. You’ve got Tyler’s back, you got Jeffs back. You got every father listening their backs because that’s your goodness and that’s your faithfulness to us as men and as fathers. So I just cover these men in your blood and the men listening. Lord, I’m asking that you, Lord, which is lead them and guide them in all truth, which is found in your word. And Lord, they would do what the word says. They’d be quick to hear your word. They’d be quick to obey your word when you speak to their heart by the power of your spirit and Lord, their families would be so blessed. Lord, each family listening blessed because Jesus, you are so good and you are so kind and you are so faithful. So where we just thank you for this time together. Lord, I just pray that Lord you’d use it for the glory of your kingdom. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen.