312 | Staying Wild, Carrying Only the Essentials, and Chasing After Life (Tim Bohlke)
Episode Description
In the midst of a chaotic world, fathers need to know how to stay grounded, steady, and wild. Tim Bohlke brings years of wisdom and experience to equip dads to do just that. Through real-life examples and a spirit of encouragement, Tim unveils new ways to embrace joy, balance, and remembrance of what God has done.
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Founder and director of Harbor Ministries, Tim Bohlke has spent three decades investing in leaders and helping forge a new path that will serve leaders, their families, and their organizations well. He is a husband, father, grandfather, author, coach, and more.
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· The cumulative effect of carrying too much weight will break you down.
· Avoid isolation by inviting others in, asking for input, and allowing people to be honest with you.
· The key to being aware and alert to what God is doing today is remembering what he has done in the past.
· Fight for the people, places, and experiences that bring you life.
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Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I'm gonna give it my all.
Tim Bohlke: [00:00:39] Sometimes life knocks the edge off us, gets us to settle in and coast. And that becomes perhaps the most dangerous place when we stop taking steps, stop taking risks, pull back, settle for safety. And God never promised us a safe life. He promised He'd be with us through all of it, every step of the way. To me, when I've taken risk, when I've been willing to step out, that's when I feel myself come alive again.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:01:05] Gentlemen, welcome back to DadAwesome. Today, episode 312, we have Tim Bohlke joining, and he's not a stranger to DadAwesome. So, Tim was a part of episode 51 and episode 81 of the podcast. My family, we've camped, we've parked our RV in Tim's driveway in Lincoln, Nebraska. I've been a part of a year long leadership cohort called Harbor Ministries. I was a part of their rogue cohort back three years ago. And, and then I was in Colorado with them and San Diego with them, and Michelle and I, my wife and I, actually had the opportunity to celebrate 15 years of the ministry Harbor Ministries, last year, and got some sweet time with Tim during that. And we we actually were a part of a surprise, a really encouraging announcement that Tim is releasing a new book called Stay Wild. And when I heard about this book coming out, I asked him, I said, Tim, can you come on and do another episode of DadAwesome on this theme of Staying Wild? We unpack those two words in today's conversation. You guys are going to be so thankful you listened. Buckle Up. We hit so many different angles of man being grounded and being secure and being steady, and then the wild side that God invites us into as dads. To be DadAwesome we need to stay wild. This theme really encompasses so many aspects of the dad life. So here we go, episode 312 with my friend and mentor, Tim Bohlke. I think it was three years ago, the East Troublesome forest fire that that ravaged through Colorado, one of the biggest forest fires. I was in Colorado at an event in Hot Sulphur Springs, and I actually tried to drive up through Winter Park to that event on a Thursday, and they told me it was clear, told me it was clear. Drove up through Winter Park, north towards Granby, and the wall of smoke was just wild. And then of course, I think the, the National Guard is who turned me around and said, no, no, you can't come through here. So they sent me.
Tim Bohlke: [00:03:18] Yep.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:03:18] It was a three hour detour, three hour detour. Because Hot Sulphur Springs was in the clear, barely. We could see the fire burning from there, but I had to drive. I was three hours late to the event I was going to, and I spent the next 3 or 4 days watching, you know, we were able to have our event, watching this, the ridge burning on the other side. And at that same moment, and then, of course, you'll tell it in a moment what happened that final day that saved, um, saved everything that the what God sent. But you were on the other side of the ridge with a group of men, down in Estes Park. Would you tell the story, from your side of the ridge, and then I'll wrap it up for what happened on my side of the ridge for that that wildfire.
Tim Bohlke: [00:03:54] You know, that was the fall of 2020, so the world fully disrupted in all our lives as well, in one way or another, you know. And boy, that being in that midst in that moment just accelerated the uncertainty of those days, you know, and, I mean, it just seemed so dark. But, you know, we had a gathering of men that were coming into Estes Park and really needed to be there. Pastors and some business leaders, guys had really been under the gun through the months of 2020 and all that was going on with Covid, and so we needed to be there. I needed to be there, too. And so we had to gather in 10 or 12 guys that were coming in to a lodge that we had bought, previous, the previous year, the Blue Spruce Manor up there. And a big fundraising effort for us. But what I remember similar really was that while smoke, we're driving in front from Nebraska and for two hours, once we entered Colorado, there was this funnel cloud of smoke, that Paul and I, 76 and so we were under this cloud, very ominous, you know, going up to Estes Park. And I'll never forget that two hour drive. It was just crazy. But, you know, everything seemed to be fine, the Estes Park area. And we got up there that night and and the guy I was with, we were going to be waiting to meet the other guys in the morning, and, and we went to a local pub and, and they were having a drink and the ashes, it was at night and the ashes from the fire from somewhere had blown in, and we're falling in our drinks, you know, crazy. And so that was kind of the stage set that all the guys came in the next morning and, and we gathered and, and the winds were starting to pick up, you know, in Estes Park at that time, but we went ahead and went on a hike. And then one of the guys got a text on that hike saying, hey, there's a been a voluntary evacuation requested for people in West Estes Park, which we're in West Estes Park, right by the YMCA camp. And so we decided to head back, check it out. Got probably within ten minutes, we got back to the house that our ministry owned, and there were fire engines on that street and people throwing stuff in their car, and they said it's been changed to a mandatory evacuation. And, and, uh, I mean, it was crazy. So there was actually a loud speaker coming from the fire engine saying, don't grab your personal things, get in your cars and leave. So that kind of urgency and chaos. So we did, and I kind of said my goodbyes to the place thinking, thinking a lot of things at that moment, but that this place that we had just worked so hard to acquire probably was gone. We're we're in a quest, you know, for the sake of Estes Park and everybody there that had that. And so we joined this massive evacuation out of Estes Park. And it was like being in a scene of a disaster movie, you know. In Estes, you know, there's three, I was gonna say there's three major roads that kind of collide and so everybody was going into his funnel to get out of town. And so we were just on a slow, bumper to bumper crawl, through the town, Estes Park, and trying to move our way out east.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:04] So you're crawling through town? Ash is raining down, it's you know the desperation but you can't go fast, but you have to keep moving, in panic, I'm sure. Jut the level, the panic that I felt when the, you know, the National Guard, they turned me around, like the same thing of, like, this is not where I want to be right now is in this proximity to that power. But there's there's so many parallels, and we're going to, we're going to dive into the story because there's so many parallels between the dad life that all of us are living, especially the last 3 or 4 years, the dad life and, you know, culture with the world has thrown. But there was a sighting, a moment that kind of brought you, uh, that I know you haven't been able forget. There's a something that you saw on the way out of town. Would you explain kind of that, that moment?
Tim Bohlke: [00:07:50] Yeah. So we were, you know, in the midst of that congestion and it was probably two in the afternoon, but skies were dark red. I mean, you could smell smoke and as you said, you know, ashes blowing through and and just a totally surreal scene. And so we are going very slowly. There's three cars that are with my group, and I'm driving and I look over in the midst of all this chaos and, big Thompson River over there as it moves its way out of town and there's a guy, uh, fly fishing, in the river as calm as day. I mean, incredible. It was just like, I was like, am I seeing that right? And I'm looking over there and we're going real slow so I had to stare and, just unreal scenes. Like he was just in rhythm, you know, fishing and I and and was there for a long time because we're going, I mean, I don't know how long he stayed, but I mean, watching him for a very long time. And I think my first thought was, he's crazy. I mean, what does he, is he totally oblivious to the, not I mean, we're talking a hundred yards away. So it's not like he's, you know, remote, not knowing what's going on. But then my next thought was, whatever he's got, I need that, I want, I want that. Because he has calmness in the midst of the storm. And then that imagery started to become really strong for me. I mean, that's exactly what he has. You know, there was a calmness and a rhythm and steadiness to what he was doing. You know, whether you think he should have been doing it or not became irrelevant. There was that in the midst of this chaos and total disruption around him, and as we kind of creeped by him, I just sensed for me, God say, that's that was your dream for launching Harbor Ministry and for bringing leaders, leaders, dads and their families, leaders of ministry, leaders of organizations in. So that they could kind of find that kind of strength, stability, etc. in the midst of a storm, that we all face one time or another. And I really got that strong impression, that's what You created Harbor to be, that's what You want it to be. That's what you need to be about over these next years in your ministry and life.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:05] And that, so I've had a chance and Tim's because of your gracious invitation, three years ago, I had a chance to go through one of your cohorts, a rogue group of two trips, along with kind of ongoing some mentorship, coaching, throughout the years. So it was, it was about like a year, year and a half journey for me. And and that alone in the micro storms, in the macro storms, if I could be a dad, that could be steady, calm, you know, versus panicking and riding the emotions, up and down and stressed and checking my phone 100 times a minute for updates. Like, that's my my feeling if I was in the car with you guys is that is like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? You're also the leader of this group, so you're responsible for the group. The heart, I can just kind of picture, I can almost feel what you would be feeling in that moment. And not only your caring for that group of 20 that you're with or 12, but you also have just taken a huge step to buy a lodge for the future of the ministry.
Tim Bohlke: [00:11:05] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:11:05] And and that's where the fire is mostly coming towards, is right towards The Blue Spruce. So, yeah, the readiness is what, and I'm going to take us just from that side of the ridge over to Hot Sulphur Springs, in this same moment. What I was experiencing was I turned in my phone and shut off my phone to be a part of this event that was happening. And and when I turned my phone back on on Sunday morning, there was eight inches of fresh powder that had fallen and the visual of a burning fire to snow, and I wasn't prepared for snow, it was like September. It was like early in the season. I was like, it doesn't snow in Minnesota that early. And, and here's what my phone chimed through to tell me. And this is kind of this is a pretty powerful metaphor, I think. I learned that my grandpa had passed away while my phone was turned off, and we were expecting that he was going to head home to heaven. But the whiteness and the beauty and the smoke, like the fires are, have died and there's this white snow covering the mountains, was was how I exited the mountains and flew, headed back to Minnesota. And you and the other side of the ridge that snow saved, saved the town. Is that correct?
Tim Bohlke: [00:12:15] Yes.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:12:16] Partially. What happened?
Tim Bohlke: [00:12:17] Yeah, it is. I didn't know, I didn't know that story, by the way, of your grandfather during that time, so that adds something to it for sure. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's one of the things God used, as you mentioned, The Blue Spruce for me and my world, as I exit, that was one of the many things I was thinking out of, is have I made a decision that's train wreck, the organization. It was a $2 million property. We were a million plus in debt still with that property, as I was leaving and I'm on the phone, dealing insurance agent, saying, do we have enough insurance, you know, and we don't and we're in trouble. And I'm thinking, you know, I made some decisions that are really going to take the ministry down in addition to everything else. So, but yeah, we exited. Got out to Fort Collins and just tried to get the best I could, have given that over to God. But that image of that fly fisherman really helped me settle in. And, yes, I mean, one of the two things I think God used the courage of the relentless firefighters that drew a line, you know, west west of Estes Park. And then that miraculous snow, you know, that it was just eight, ten inches of snow that neutralized that fire and stopped it, you know, from entering Estes Park. There was a lot of other areas that had tremendous loss but in that area. Those are two things that happened that was fairly miraculous.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:13:36] Yeah. I'm going to just take this a little further, another Colorado story and another kind of I think the imagery is rich here. So, Harbor Ministries exist to take leaders from a place of the raging seas, come into a harbor to get strengthened, retrofit, equipped, the supplies like a ship needs before you go back out. You don't stay in the harbor, right. That's that's kind of the imagery around the ministry. Anything you'd add to that imagery before I tell you where I'm going?
Tim Bohlke: [00:14:05] That is the imagery that people all have strength waiting, as the difference making leaders have figured out that idea of harbor as it connects to mission. And no matter how critical your mission is, you got to have time in a harbor to resource, restore and get yourself ready.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:22] And for me, that time in the harbor, those two trips with a group of 20 men. So, you've just committed, for these 15 years, it's 20. And now there's women's groups, Revel, as well. 20 at a time, 20 at a time, which makes no sense in the Google Spreadsheets. It makes no sense for the budget.
Tim Bohlke: [00:14:37] No, it does not.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:38] But it works because it's a God idea and it's gone time and time. Is it close to 50 cohorts now? Am I, am I close?
Tim Bohlke: [00:14:45] It's close to that. Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:47] I thought so. So that's like 800 like have been a part. So it's crazy. You told another story, a story in the book, Stay Wild that we're going to talk about a little bit during today's conversation about a friend who did a 486 mile hike, the Colorado Trail. So I thought it'd take us into another, another Colorado story. That hike, you explained that the three things that can take you out. And we want to be introspective, all of us dads. What are the things that could take us out? Because if we get taken it out, our kids, our marriages, our work, our friends, everyone, everyone suffers if the dad gets taken out. If the man, if the person who's listening, if you get takeen out, a lot of other people suffer. It's not just you. So the three things for this hiker that did this 36 day, this friend of yours, that could take him out was weather, isolation and weight, I think were the three things. And I'd like to talk a little bit about, specifically about weight. Could you explain how important weight and calculating the weight of what he carried was?
Tim Bohlke: [00:15:46] In the illustration, that conversation, it was, you know, 400 and some miles, did it in 36 days. In the midst of that hike, 89,000 ft of vertical gain. Through that hike goes basically south of Denver, dumps out near Durango. So incredible deal and accomplishment for anyone. But this man, I was aware, that's when he locked into the three things you mentioned and the weight being the key dynamic. And for him, he was, as I heard him meticulous about this idea, weight. That the cumulative effect of carrying too much weight is what would break him down physically, mentally otherwise. And so he was, including his own weight, got himself in shape, I think, and, you know, got himself to a place where his weight was right. But then what he carried with him as well, I mean, probably true to his personality of somebody that could finish this thing. I think one thing I remember him, or that was communicated to me that did, was he actually cut off part of his toothbrush, like half the toothbrush. I don't know what that weighs, but not very much. But I mean, he was meticulous to the fraction of an ounce of anything that you didn't need to take with him, that he would eliminate and not take with him because, again, he knew that cumulative effect of carrying too much weight in that back would prohibit him from finishing that journey well.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:17:13] And the reason I love that story is weight, the Hebrews 12:1 and 2, these verses about like casting off the sin that entangles, the weight. Like, like we have to cast so that we can run with perseverance this race marked out with us. We can fix our eyes on Jesus. Like, I just think back to the story of the fly fisherman, that the visual to me is he was not weighty. The experience was not experiencing the weight of that forest fire. He's he's experiencing like like a lightness and a freedom and a steadiness. And as a dad, I just know that there are areas that I am carrying weight forward, past hurts, past frustrations, past failures, current struggles, like the weights just to keep adding from all the spheres. And that's something I really appreciate about you, Tim, and about Harbor Ministries is through, putting us with the right group of people. So it's the friends you're with and through silence, some time alone, some time with friends, some testimony, some goal setting, some introspective, like some worship music, some great food. I mean, this this, this recipe of experience really helped me come away with less weight and actually shed some weight. So, the goal is that I can actually bring my full heart to my family and and for the long haul versus the short term. And and that's where the analogy goes into back to a ship you retrofit, but you also are strategic with what you put on a ship before you head out to sea. And if storms come, you actually have to get rid of cargo sometimes to make it through a storm. So, so it's kind of like double analogy of the hike analogy and the symbolism of the ship. How would you encourage all the dads listening that, that feel it? They're like, I definitely have some weight that I need to shed so I don't bring harm and hurt to my family.
Tim Bohlke: [00:19:02] Getting yourself in a place to really ask that question, look at that. I mean that Hebrew 12 passage you referenced is key. If you slow read those first three verses, I think it'll take you on a journey of what you need to do, you know. And one of the things I think so many people look at that passage, always talk about because one of the translation talks about release everything that every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles. So we tend to look at it as, which is certainly something to look at, is there things that are entangling you, you know, habits, strengths and whatever that are creating too much weight or not allowing you to finish? But it's not just talking about that. It's also saying, you know, you need to let go of everything that entangles you, not just sin. There's can be many good things that weigh us down, many great opportunities. I know you and I, Jeff, in ministries we have we have a lot of opportunities, a lot of relationships we can lean into, a lot of places to go. Incredible opportunity. But but you can take too much on of a good thing and we all know that too. And so to me, that passage really looks at both. And I think as a dad and a family man say, okay, what do I really need to take back to that hiker illustration? Only the absolute essentials. You know what I've found as I've gotten older, like, no excess spiritual fat is what the Message translation says on that. Don't take any excess spiritual fat. So so what I've found as I've gotten older is the things I used to care about, debate people on, wrestle with on some theology issues, whatever. Like I don't even, I'm not even sure, I'm for sure not as sure now as I was then, you know, I'm certain of less. Only take the absolute essentials of things that really matter in, with you, because otherwise you just get bogged down, weighed down. Disagreements or arguments we see today over so many things are ticking us off, you know, and taking us off our center. And so I think, man, it couldn't be more critical for dads and leaders today to say only the essentials. And I think so, I think, we'll walk them through those verses really helps. Getting yourself in quiet places where you can really evaluate, giving some people some permission to speak into you and say, do you see anything I'm carrying and I should let go of, you know. And that's risky, but inviting some others into that could be really helpful too.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:21:26] Yeah. So, those three areas again were weather, which we kind of talked about weather a little bit with the storm analogy and the ship analogy. Weather, which I'm sure there's more aspects to talk about that, but then there's the weight, that we just talked about. And then the third was iso.. like isolation. Was that the third, kind of topic that can take you out is isolation?
Tim Bohlke: [00:21:44] Yeah. Yeah. Lonely.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:21:45] Yeah, loneliness. There we go.
Tim Bohlke: [00:21:47] Loneliness, isolation. Right. I do still give people I really trust, not a, an invitation into my story, what I'm thinking. Doesn't mean that, you know, I still maybe won't take the step I feel God leading me to do. But there is these core people that I want to really be vulnerable with and give them permission to speak into that. You see something off on this or different or wrong and kind of invite that in. That's not usually a wide audience. So I'm not asking for that input from lots of people, honestly. But a few core and like I said, that just checks and balances and it, it can affirm or at least confirm, make sure I'm thinking through all those dynamics, you know, well. So I mean, that's the first thing that comes to mind. And then taking some time to, sometimes we got to move and act quick for what those things are. And leadership, we know there's is a lonely, there is an aspect of loneliness to the leadership journey, for sure, and leading different things in this family that you can't escape. That's that's part of it. But but if we isolate too much, and part of my story of leading large organizations in the past has been one of the loneliest times I had, was when I was in the midst of a very large organization with a lot of people around me, but I isolated myself off, stopped asking for input, stopped giving people permission to be honest with me and things they were seeing and that's when I got to a dangerous spot and nearly made mistakes in my leadership journey. So you can be lonely in the midst of a lot of people, you know, as well, and there's ways to kind of navigate that, figure that out, invite others in. But there also is this aspect of leadership where sometimes you do got to take the step.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:23:34] Yeah, I'm thinking about the different tools that I've learned from you. And one of them is this this monthly day of space, of looking back 30 days for 30 days. Getting quiet, as quiet as possible. Often it's not fully a silent day. Sometimes it's a long bike ride. Sometimes it's it is sitting at a coffee shop with noise all around me. But I'm kind of like I'm focused in and trying to hear the voice of God. But these days of hearing from God is a tool. But then you also, I mean the tool of encouraging brotherhood like you just did and say, man, you got to have some people coming around you and speaking in. But then sometimes there are those two don't always aren't always congruent. The direction felt, the leadership felt. And that's I think, what, what I'm trying to get after even one more round of asking, like how if you, if you're trying to know the voice of God, you're trying to discern and there's a process with, if you're married, your wife and discerning as a family, you're discerning, friends discerning. But then there is that moment of like, I'm trying to, like, hear and listen to what's God's best for this next step. How would, what if there's opposing like, or not opposing, but just doesn't feel like the same nudges in both, both areas?
Tim Bohlke: [00:24:45] For me, in in the steps and even in the launch of this ministry, I would say there were very few people that affirmed the direction that we were going. They thought it was unwise, unsustainable. You mentioned some of that for this invitation to just 20 at a time. There was a moment, but I will I will say I weighed all that people said it was unsustainable, you couldn't nurse unsustainable, that you couldn't afford to do this, couldn't raise the money to do it just 20 at a time makes no sense. But I did believe that there would be a moment when the cumulative impact of working at 20 a time could be world changing. And I think we're there now. We're seeing that. But I didn't get a lot of input or support from those close to me, as you mention that, including my wife, who was pretty hesitant at the time. And at one point she did get on board, but it took a while. So I would say that idea of space, of solitude or quiet was critical. So I didn't close off other voices, listen to them, process it. But in the midst of what I was sensing, beyond hearing the strength and the courage to take the step still came from a very sustained practice of quieting down, solitude, really seeking God on what I was sensing and the direction I was feeling in over a period of time, that direction just was affirmed. I know I need to take this step. So there was value in what input people were given to me, but I say over the course of time, and that extended times of space, of solitude, of quiet, extended time of really listening to God just confirm. This is an idea I've given you. You do need to take that step, and it's going to be pretty darn lonely at the start. And it was.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:26:38] Yeah. And this maybe is where we jump into some some specific themes from the two, kind of, I call it a launch pad, like the book that you are, you launched it this week actually, two days ago, you launched Stay Wild, this new book, Tim, which I'm thrilled and thanks for giving Michelle and I an early copy of it. But the the idea that we, we stay in steadiness we already talked about and there's a staying power men who Long Faithfulness or Obedience in the Same Direction. I can't remember who quoted that. Like it's massive. Like just those guys who stay, Eugene Peterson. It was. Yeah. Thank you.
Tim Bohlke: [00:27:17] Eugene Peterson. Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:27:18] Yeah, was it Long Faithfulness in the Same Direction or Long Obedience in the Same Direction? Which one is it?
Tim Bohlke: [00:27:23] Long Obedience. Yeah. Long Obedience, I believe. Long Obedience in the Same Direction.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:27:28] Yeah, yeah. We're good team. Thank you. So there's that side, but then there's the Stay Wild. And it's, we need a generation of dads who live leaning in and live with this wild, like, I'm going to take that hill. I'm going to, I'm going to move past what people think are possible. Like, we just need we need more catalyst for amazing change like that. So, so I want to start though on the on the first side and, and of course I'll let you explain, I'm not I'm not going to do all the putting your words in my mouth. The remembrance, thought, remembrance is so key for the state power that we talked about. Like remembrance, and you wrote the key to being aware and alert of what God is doing today is remembering what He has done in the past. This is part of those days of space, days of quiet, days of journaling, reflection. We all look back. We gotta look back so we can be aware of what He's doing today. Would you explain a little bit your your heart for remembrance in this this taking time to look back?
Tim Bohlke: [00:28:28] Yeah, sure. I mean, such a powerful concept. And I think a lot of it centers around Psalm 77 and if your listeners got time, go read that Psalm. The first part's desperate, struggling, questioning why is evil advancing? Why am I so isolated? Why am I so lonely? You know all the hard questions. In fact, one of the verse says, God, you've left me right when I needed you. I think that's about verse 9 or 10 in Psalm 77, right when I needed you most, you've left. Then the whole Psalms turn, turns on verse 11, it says, but then I remembered the deeds of old. Then I remember what God has done. And when He changes upon those verses that follow, that the whole narrative in that Psalm changes out of remembering what God has done. Now out of, out of remembering the ancient wonders, not only in his own life then, but what God's done in others lives. Remember, in the stories, everything changes. And so I think when we remember, you know what God's done. That's one of the values of quieting down, seeking solitude and the kind of things we talk about, is that only then do you take the time and find the time to really process and remember the ways God showed up in our story. That's what brings strength. And that's what brings courage and reminds us God is a God of promises, that He does show up and He will not only then, but going forward as well.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:29:54] Yep, yep. You referenced a few times the book Comfort Crisis. I think it comes up maybe 2 or 3 times. This concept that like seeking comfort, seeking safety, I mean, there's so many negatives. It's actually so super, it's bad for us to live kind of at a plateau in a comfort area. Without, I had a couple of quotes, but I won't read them now, just could you riff on a little bit, like the concept of going for safety or going for comfort and what it leads to?
Tim Bohlke: [00:30:24] Yeah. I mean, I think it can, I mean, cause us to settle in and coast. And I think that was, that author's illustration many times throughout that, that it's actually a crisis in this country that we've allowed ourselves to be comfortable. And I think in the Christian life, like, I've been a Christian a long time, I know you've been around. You know, I don't, I'm not sure where your journey started, Jeff, or maybe in many aspects though your whole life, but, sometimes life knocks the edge off us, I mean, and it gets us to settle and and coast. And that becomes perhaps the most dangerous place when we stop taking steps. Stop taking risks. Hold back, settle for safety and all that. And I mean, God never promised us a safe life. I mean, He promised He'd be with us through all of it, every step of the way. But, but, to me, when I've taken risk, when I've been willing to step out, that's when I feel myself come alive again. And, and boy, it gets easy to just become more comfortable, like I said, settle in and just coast. And we've seen people do that again, again. And we, we lose the ability to be dangerous in our pursuit of God. And I kind of like in the comment when we're, when we're taking risks, when we're stepping out, when we're responding to God's invitation to enter this mysterious, wild pursuit of Him, that's when we become dangerous to an enemy and, and that we need to recover that kind of dangerous pursuit of God, if that makes sense.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:32:06] It makes total sense. And it's not only like, like taking ground against the enemy and out there, but we've got these little ones, most of the guys listening, have these little kids at home that are watching dad. And you, you shared a great just kind of a setup analogy from this old movie from 1985, Breakfast Club. And you, you kind of set it up just this group of teenagers talking at detention about their parents. And this quote kind of got me is like, they're talking about their parents, the dad is someone who just goes through the motions, has settled, has lost passion. And she said, when you grow up, your heart dies. Like that was her impression of watching dad. Did I get that right?
Tim Bohlke: [00:32:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:32:47] Explain a little bit more on that, like, like that idea of just grown ups hearts are dead.
Tim Bohlke: [00:32:54] Yeah. I mean, I think just the, the layers of things that can happen to us, the pressures, the weights kind of swings back to that Hebrews 12 passage we just talk about. I mean, as the years go on and the responsibilities and I think to many of your listeners and understandable responsibility, there's a lot to process. You know, make a living, take care of people, with the kids, and they're watching us and all that, you can, you know, really add up. But I think, you know, being able to look at that, center ourselves around what's really important and not lose heart in the midst of it. So one of the keys, I think, as I'm thinking about this, as you're asking, is how do we keep our hearts fresh, alive? How do we keep our tanks full so that we're in the best place to live a full life ourselves? Because we're not going to be able to pass it on to our kids if we're, you know, not there ourselves in terms of a fresh life. So what's it take to really energize you, your passion? You know, okay, what are some of the things I love? And give yourself permission to pursue that, chase it, you know, freely and and things that kind of fill your tank so you can be operating from a full tank when you're working with your kids and going through the journey with them.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:34:18] Yes. Not just like once in a while, go be a part of that thing. So if you, if you call it a hobby or you call it like, well, without doing damage to my kids, I can golf once a month or this or that, like there's an approach to it's just filling some more time with something you enjoy, but you're talking about looking a little deeper, and you even used three categories. I pulled a quote here that it's the people, the places, the the experiences that bring life and that bring the shine back into our eyes that like, if we don't figure that out, who are the people, places and experiences, daily, monthly, weekly like rhythms of getting with those people, having those experiences. I know for you it's mountain biking, let's go or kayaking like, you've figured out. But then it's like it's the people, there's special places, there's places. And you use the phrase though, instead of just like, you'll make time for that, you said, don't you need to fight for it. You need to chase, fight for and chase are very common in your writing and your speaking, in every breakfast conversation we've had, Tim. It's like, you know, we have to be men who fight for these things that bring us life, who chase the people, chase the experiences. I's just a different, it's a very different set up in how I think about pursuit. Like, you just have this, like, there's an urgency in the way you talk about it. Could you kind of explain more why you use those terms chase or or fight for?
Tim Bohlke: [00:35:42] Yeah. You know, I think that, take for example, the idea we talked about a couple times a year of of space, of solitude, of quiet that I think men of strength, men whose tanks are full,l who are leading their families well, have a practice of solitude, space and quiet. Now, we know that's not easy to do. But my sense, when I'm talking to people, is to find time for that, to make time for that. I mean, it is a fight in our schedules, and we often feel guilty for it, too. I mean, heck that can be with family time. My wife might need me for sure, you know, or there's a lot of other things I could be doing. Well you have to determine is that important or not? Now, I think people that can really show up well for their wives or really show well for their kids, they need this quiet solitude. They need to find it. And that can become an excuse to like, okay, I'm out for dinner, you know, for sure. So understanding that, but but they need to have that. I think their kids need them to take it, their wives need them to take it, their place of the work. Influence need men that are seeking God in the quiet because that'll, that's where it will create that steadiness. But that is something you have to fight for in your schedule, absolutely. Have an intentional fierce commitment. Say, I'm going to work that into my schedule. You know, if there's something I know is going to help really strengthen me, then I better be doing what it takes to find that, so I'm in the best place I can be for them.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:37:09] Yeah. And if we haven't, if we haven't removed the non-essential. We haven't taken things out of our schedule, then we can try to fight for or like pursue these the people, these places, these moments. But we we need to already have kind of that weight side taking care of that we talked about earlier or else we're not going to have a chance.
Tim Bohlke: [00:37:29] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:37:31] Tim, I don't think I've ever shared this with you before. And it just it came out in my, I just, I finished your book just last night. So I was just like, this is a great, having this call scheduled, it was a great reason to get through the last part of your book, which I'm so grateful for, this new book, new project, Stay wild. But I created about ten years ago, a kind of a personal, it's a mission, vision statement for my life. And I've never shared this with you, and I've never shared on the podcast. But it alines, it revealed to me when I started thinking about it, this is why I've been drawn to you as a leader in the ministry, Harbor Ministries, because you guys exist for this mission. But I had it, you know, I had this maybe seven years before we met. The statement, the statement that God gave me is inspire and empower leaders to discover and take courageous leaps towards their dreams. So I'll read it one more, one more time. So I get to be a part of this is what God's called me to do is inspire and empower leaders, or you could replace dads because dads are leaders, right. Inspire, empower leaders to discover and take courageous leaps towards their dreams. This, this idea of taking leaps like...
Tim Bohlke: [00:38:42] It's awesome, man.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:42] Well, it's awesome, but it's not comfortable and it's risky.
Tim Bohlke: [00:38:47] No, it's not.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:49] But that's what I dream about. I dream about this. I pray for this, that, that, that I could be a part of doing this. And this is what you do, Tim. You've done this for me. You've helped me discover and take courageous leaps towards my dreams. I pray that even today's conversation, in a fraction, in a small way, is helping the guys listening, discover a little more and take a courageous leap towards a dream God has. Because people moving towards a dream, dad's moving towards dreams, it changes everything, our pace and our urgency and our passion. And and people moving towards settling, it's not the same, we don't move the same way, we don't lead the same way, we don't pray the same way. So how would you, just kind of reflect back to me what you heard for my, my kind of vision mission and why this is also important?
Tim Bohlke: [00:39:38] Well, man, I mean, well that's certainly that's pretty cool to hear for starters. And talk about alignment, you know. So you know, I think when I hear, I mean, one of the things that comes to mind is kind of circling back to, okay, for you to be able to do that, you're going to need to be operating from a place of strength and fullness for you to be able to give that to others. You know, my reservoir is empty, I'm sure you're not going to be able to help others get there or it won't be authentic. Eventually it'll break down, you know, so that that's the first thing here. So you answering that for yourself as well, you know, and others listening. Okay, what is it really going to take? You know, and kind of, per our conversation, I think it's going to take a great memory. Remembering that God showed up, remembering, you know, you coming back to that mission now. No doubt about it, so having a great memory, really looking at that Hebrews 12 passage. And what are some things I need to, to lighten up, you know, to to do this thing well and then really seeking God and those moments of solitude and quiet space so that we're really hearing from Him and operating from a place of strength. And I guess that's where my mind goes when I hear you say that. That'll be critical for you going forward. It has been for me and leading this. And, you know, the times I haven't been operating from that, I've had to figure that out. Last year it was actually right when I came out to see you. You gathered a few guys together last fall in the midst of a crazy busy stretch, but one of the things I got a chance to do, which I shouldn't have in one way, it wouldn't make sense to add this in, but was Marcus Mumford. I'm kind of a fan of Mumford and Sons, and he was doing a solo concert in Boulder, and it was right before a trip I was going to do with you. I was like, you don't get time for that, but I love music. That's one of the things that fills me, and I love their music. And so I invited my son and we road tripped out to Boulder and and went to this concert. He was doing a solo concert right in front of the stage, and he's singing, awake my soul, you were made to meet your maker. You know, and hearing him solo singing that it was quite a moment and I came back from that trip, I got to fly fish with Dylan and got to go to that concert, got to hear him, came back and man, my tank was full and I was able to get out, be with you guys in a different place. And so that's what I mean by fighting for it. It's like it didn't make any sense to make that road trip at that moment on the surface, but sometimes that can busy us up. But sometimes it's exactly what we need. Just got to have, be able to discern that.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:42:17] I'm so glad you brought this up, Tim, because you shared four and a half years ago with me, you gave the advice to, you said, there's a power in combining intentional conversations and fun memory making trips. You're talking about moments with your son just like that. You said, there's a power in combining those two things. And then later in that conversation, you said, and you need to actually to create significant memories, you need to invest resources, time and intentionality. So just, it's fun because without even like asking to do a little check in. Hey, are you doing what you encouraged us to do? You did it.
Tim Bohlke: [00:42:52] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:42:53] In that moment.
Tim Bohlke: [00:42:53] Just shared it. Yeah. I think that, I mean, that's critically important, no matter how old, that son I was talking about was 28 when we did that trip. But, so as an older man, a young man now, it's important as it was when he was 14, when I was still trying to do that stuff too.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:43:13] Well, Tim, I wanted to thank you, the, the work that you've poured into, and I know this is like your third or fourth book project, but Stay Wild, we'll link it in all of our show notes and on our social media. And just so grateful for you saying, here's another offering of taking what God's been doing in you for decades into book form. And the chapters, the chapters are like 2 to 3 pages long, which is perfect for us dads. These short, short...
Tim Bohlke: [00:43:38] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:43:39] Like read it and deploy and you can take take this and make it actionable in the dad life, for your families, for your mission. I wanted to end with this quote before I ask you to pray over us. And this is, let me see if I can scroll back and find it, this has been shared it I think all the gatherings where we've been together and we don't know who the author is, which is a bummer. We don't know who the author is, but it says this, and I can visualize this like on a sign before, like a serious, like a gnarly adventure, you read this. The cowards never started, the weak died along the way, only the strong survived. They were the pioneers. Tim, I see you, and I know that you have been a pioneer in this chapter of three plus years that I've known you, and you've inspired me to live as a pioneer. So I want to say thank you. And then I wanted to invite you to pray for that pioneering spirit, that courage, the Staying Wild type, a fire to burn within us so that we could live this way and survive strong. So only the strong survive. They were the pioneers. We need pioneer dads to to pioneer faith and legacy and and to make it the long haul. Not all the statistics of divorce and dads that walk away from their kids. So, would you pray kind of that strong, pioneering spirit over all of us?
Tim Bohlke: [00:44:57] Yeah. Yeah, absolutely would. Before I do, I was just going to mention to, I just talked with a dad that's a pastor down in Durango, and what he did with the Stay Wild book, was read it through a chapter at a time with his daughter. And, and they would talk about it, you know, kind of a chapter, a couple chapters a week kind of deal. And she loved it. So it might be practical enough to do that for the dads that are listening out there that way.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:45:22] Yeah. I love that.
Tim Bohlke: [00:45:24] So, so all right, let me pray. Lord, thanks for this time. And and be able to connect with Jeff. And I just pray for those listening, I pray this for myself, that we will have a renewed commitment to wildly pursue You. That Your invitation to us is to enter into this mysterious adventure, which is the essence of a faith journey, and it ought to continue into this mysterious adventure with You. And so I pray that You'll give us the fire and the passion and the commitment and the ideas and the resources and the time to seek You well. Seek widely, to pursue You all in. That You'll help us not to settle, not to coast, but to continue to be able to take steps of faith that You put on our hearts and on our lives. And so, we just commit this time to You. Thank You for the many that are listening to this, and will again be inspired with courage and strength and a steadiness to seek You and to be able to show up in the ways we need to and can be with all those areas of people that depend on us. So love You. Amen.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:46:39] Thank you so much for joining us for episode 312 with Tim Bohlke. The conversation notes, the links to purchase the book, Stay Wild, the link to their podcast, their podcast at Harbor Ministries is called Space. Phenomenal resources that'll be linked in the show notes, as well as their different leadership cohorts. They offer cohorts for men and women and younger guys and older guys. I'm in the older guy category now, so Harbor Ministries, that's all going to be linked at dadwesome.org/podcast, and it will be right at the top there, episode 312. Guys, thank you for listening. Let's be dads of action. Let's move into applying something you learn today and feel free to use the show notes to skip back through and say, hey, what's my one takeaway this week? How can I step into being DadAwesome for my family? Have a great week, guys!
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· 14:05 - "That is the imagery that people all have strength waiting, as the difference making leaders have figured out that idea of harbor as it connects to mission. And no matter how critical your mission is, you got to have time in a harbor to resource, restore and get yourself ready."
· 29:27 - "When we remember what God's done, that's one of the values of quieting down, seeking solitude, is that only then do you take the time and find the time to really process and remember the ways God showed up in our story. That's what brings strength. And that's what brings courage and reminds us God is a God of promises, that He does show up and He will not only then, but going forward as well."
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