93 - Looking Past Childishness to See Awesomeness (John Burns part 2)
John Burns:
This is part 2 of the dadAWESOME conversation with John Burns. (here's the link to part 1 Episode 92). John and his wife Helen pastor Relate Church in Vancouver, Canada and are featured on “Sex, Love and Relationships” on the Hillsong Channel. They have been married for 45 years and have three daughters with eight grandchildren.
Episode Notes:
- 2:22 – John walks us through a not so awesome dad moment
- 3:05 – His daughters began making excuses to not go on their daddy daughter dates... It was because John was boring them with his questions.
- 3:35 - He was putting too much pressure on his daughters to answer his questions
- 4:40 - The mistake of trying to get our kids to act like other kids
- 5:00 - "I decided that I was going to enjoy my girls just the way they are"
- 5:09 - "You know honey, you're my hero. When I grow up, I want to be just like you"
- 5:20 - "You've got to look past the childishness and see the awesomeness in your children and then speak to it. And as you do, it just confirms it in them"
- 5:58 - Proverbs 13:21 - "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, And the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous."
- 6:10 - We are way too nearsighted and we need to look further and focus on the generations.
- 7:00 - The younger generation are hurting. They have information, but they don't have connection and wisdom.
- 7:30 - The importance of the connection between grandparents and grandchildren
- 8:25 - The importance of pouring into your kids friends and build bridges to reach your kids
- 9:15 - Psalm 92:12-14 "The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age,they will stay fresh and green"
- 9:50 - "Your kids will follow your heart. They wont always follow your ideas, but they will read your heart."
- 10:15 - The two most important things to do to transfer your faith to your kids: 1) Love God 2) Love your church
- 10:25 - "When your kids see your heart for God in worship"
- 11:15 - Church is messy and family is messy. Your kids need to see how you negotiate your life and church.
- 12:20 - Loving your wife in front of your kids.
- 13:00 - When kids see their dads love waning for the local church, they will question their love for God
- 14:13 - Sex is the celebration of love
- 14:40 - Loving your wife is giving, not receiving
- 15:30 - Sex is all about giving. Love is not about feelings.
- 16:20 - The importance of your kids knowing about sex
- 17:00 - The most important thing in sex and marriage is talk. We must sit down and talk and learn how each other are doing.
- 17:35 - Intimacy is first emotional. It starts with talk.
- 18:30 - It's your job as a dad to approach the more difficult areas of marriage. Sex or finances or other areas.
- 19:25 - Date your wife. Date her often.
- 19:30 - "Build your wife up and praise her and tell her how amazing she is"
- 19:45 - Use the word HELP... Ask your wife for help. Take time to listen to her and invite her to help.
- 21:00 - John's prayer over us dads
Conversation Links:
- John’s Church – Relate
- Sex, Love & Relationships show on the Hillsong Network
- Book – “Miracle in a Daddy’s Hug”
DA Ideas:
- What gets recognized gets repeated
- You've got to catch your kids doing what you want
- Be a cheerleader
- Idea submitted by Stefan Brinkley
Submitting dadAWESOME IDEAS: We are gathering tools, games, strategies, dad hacks and other ideas that need to be shared to help all of us take a step towards awesomeness in our fatherhood. If you’d be willing to share an idea or two, please reach out so we can share them:
- Call and leave a Voice Message: 612 293-5086
- Send an email: da@dadawesome.org
- Send us a text: 612 293-5086