Episode 260 Transcript (Jeremie Kubicek & Will Kubicek)

Episode 260 (Jeremie Kubicek and Will Kubicek)

Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I’m going to be an awesome dad because I’m give it my all.

Zaugg Girls: [00:00:39] Welcome to dadAWESOME. This is episode 260. Say “dadAWESOME”. dadAWESOME! We have two guests this week. What are their names? Jeremie Kubicek and his son Will Kubicek. Thanks for joining us.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:01:09] Let’s start with just introducing your family and, Will, I’ll let you go first, introduce your dad for a moment. Talk about your dad. What’s he up to professionally? And talk about him as a dad just for a few moments before I let him introduce you.

Will Kubicek: [00:01:21] This is Jeremie Kubicek, my dad. He is a serial entrepreneur, author, speaker. Right now he is an executive chairman of a company called GiANT, which brings Jesus principles into businesses as well as leads a group of really guides in to do that as well. We’re partnered in the company Six Summers, which is raising up, liberating dads and giving them the resources they need to launch their kids well. He also works with, on the sports side, with the OU football team and other teams to raise up good culture within those teams. And he’s a busy guy but very intentional and was an incredible is an incredible dad but raised me up and launched me well into into college and now life, getting ready to be married. So I wouldn’t I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:02:14] Thank you, Will. Thank you. Let’s jump over to Jeremie. Can you introduce your son?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:02:17] Yes. This is Will Kubicek. Will is unbelievably dedicated to helping people. He has always been an adventurer type. He loves to do things. He loves to get his hands dirty, he loves to hunt, loves to fish, he loves to climb. Adventure is his middle name and he has just a but he has a heart for Jesus. He has a heart for helping people. He’s got an amazing bride to be, in Bailey, again, they’re getting married in April. But Will had an interesting history, he broke his back playing football and then decided to keep playing. And in the meantime, used track to kind of do rehabilitation and goes on to win state and goes on to get recruited, to go to University of Oklahoma to be a decathlete. So he was an amazing student. He was an amazing worker. And now we get the ability to partner together. So just thrilled for for him and for me.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:03:17] Wow. Well, that intro leads so many follow up questions, but I want to circle back in a moment. Jeremie, would you introduce just broader, how many kids total, so your two daughters and how long have you been married?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:03:26] Yeah, 27 years of marriage. 25 year old, almost 25 year old, 22 year old, Will, so my daughter is my oldest, who lives in Tulsa. Will, middle, 22. The youngest daughter is 20 and she’s a junior at the University of Oklahoma.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:03:41] Okay, great. And then I thought, just curveball questions are fun to start conversations on the podcast, curveball. So let’s go with a math problem, we’ll go with a math problem. And Jeremy, I’ll probably spin this one your way, but who knows, maybe Will jumps in C=DXVXN is greater than R. Do they get it right? Is the math problem correct?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:04:02] Oh yeah. The Change Equation.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:04:05] The Change Equation. Would you explain and maybe how that might apply, the change equation, and how it might apply to fatherhood?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:04:11] Yeah. So the idea is what are you dissatisfied with? Dissatisfaction, most men, in general, like to whine, most people like to whine, but whining is generic. I wish they. Why can’t we? Why don’t I? So it’s generic. Well, when you hone in to understanding what you’re actually dissatisfied with, then you can actually do something with it. So I’m dissatisfied with my weight, I’m dissatisfied with my relationship with my spouse, or I’m dissatisfied with my relationship or communication with my kids. Now we know what to do with. So the idea is your dissatisfaction has to be really quantified next to your vision. What’s your vision for the marriage? What’s your vision for your weight? What’s your vision for your kids relationship? When your vision is high enough, you’ll have hope to do something, but if your vision is too low, then the dissatisfaction can lead to depression, hopelessness, frustration. And then that gives you a game plan. It’s called The Change Equation, it’s been around forever. But it gives you an idea like, Hey, take your dissatisfaction, increase your vision to create your next steps. Here’s what I need to do to actually get it done.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:05:28] So dissatisfaction time Vision times Next steps needs to be greater than…

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:05:36] Your Resistance.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:05:36] Resistance.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:05:37] Resistance would be, Why won’t you lose weight or why won’t you work on your marriage or whatever. And so then resistance is a combination of your barriers. Are there any barriers people telling you, you can’t? Hurdles. You’ve got to do some work and gaps, so maybe you need to have a home gym. Well, that’s going to cost money. Well, that’s a gap. So once you understand the change equation, it basically you run out of excuses for not doing things.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:06:09] That’s really helpful. And I will include in the show notes just a little bit of some links out to that. I had never even heard that until researching for this conversation. Will, when you thought about, man, in a business that I want to start and I know this is part of your family story, that you guys were like, Let’s go. Let’s be an entrepreneur. Let’s start something. So so when you when you thought of, what’s the thing? Tell us a little bit about what made you decide this is where I want to place my entrepreneurial focus?

Will Kubicek: [00:06:36] Yeah, Yeah. So kind of within our program and what we did is we started a company at 15, and so that really got me into the entrepreneurial spirit and my dad had the conversation with me. It was like, Hey, do you want to be a job creator or have a job? And so that was an ongoing conversation throughout the years. And so I started off doing auto detailing. So mobile auto detailing, you know, and then ended up moving away from that. But then six summers came along towards the end of my college career, and it was really like I had a job set up and I was going to go work for this amazing company. And a dad came up to us and was like, Hey, why don’t you do what you did with Will and make it into a business? And so I had always wanted to do some sort of active retreat style company, but also, you know, with purpose. And so this really came up and I was like, wait, I’m a I’m a pro in this world. This is what I’ve been doing for the past ten years. So how can we partner to do it with a as a father son duo and really raise up dads in the way that we did it, but also helping them and giving them every resources, every resource they may need to raise their kids well.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:48] So you lived it first and then now you had the opportunity because the people are asking, I want and you took what you learned even in auto detailing. Was there any any like, hey, this is some a learning from starting this auto detailing business that you’re like, Oh, I took that forward. Can you think of any tangible things?

Will Kubicek: [00:08:03] Yeah, don’t hire your friends. That’s a big one. Or you know, it usually doesn’t go as you’d want. But also, I would say like, you know, putting in those those hours, putting in the sweat equity at that age was very eye opening. You know, money doesn’t grow on trees. And so, so picking your business partners and those who work for you is is almost like happy wife, happy life, but working.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:08:36] With partnerships.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:08:37] And and all this great is that the beauty is that I get to then use what I do at GiANT with, you know, with Google or with Microsoft or the companies we work with. I’m actually getting to translate that into father and it’s what I did with my son. But the cool part is like we’re taking unconscious competence and we’re actually packaging it in a way that goes most that have an intent to do right, but they don’t know what to do and how to do, especially launching their kids. So that’s the beauty of it is like, hey, how how do you actually create a budget? How do you actually buy a car? How do you actually deal with gossip or drama or, you know, whatever the topics are. And that’s the beauty of what I get to do with Will and package it for dads.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:28] And this is, when you say package it, this is the Six Summers process, the curriculum, the online resources. Before we go deep into Six Summers, what did your two daughters, what did they start when they were activated and encouraged to start a business?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:09:42] Yeah. So my oldest, she started doing video vignettes for people, for companies. And so she had a few clients that she was creating, basically, she’s very much into videos. She’s really good at this kind of stop motion photography. And now she’s she’s taken that and now she works for a Venture Capital Group. And so she’s doing marketing there. Our youngest had always had a number of different jobs, but now she’s created a company called Built by Bondi, and it’s basically a Lululemon knockoff, if you will. It’s a really great clothing line, Built by Bondi.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:21] And she, wait, is it 15 years old that you encourage your kids to start a business?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:10:25] Yeah. Yeah. She started hers a little later, so she worked. You either had to start a company or work for someone. And she worked for someone and then started her company.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:37] Why did you choose 15 as the age to really propel your kids?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:10:41] I think it’s the 16 is when you’re driving. And a lot of them, they get distracted at 16. That 15 is the height of like the end of their childhood era, but they’re still really involved, but it helps to get them organized. And I think it’s just really good decision. Like 13, you’re really coming into being a man or woman. But 15, it kind of all comes together, a little bit more. 16, then you’ve got choices, and so hopefully that 15 by starting it then it might affect the way that you buy a car, your friendships from 16 to 18.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:11:20] Right, right. That’s, that makes a ton of sense. My oldest is nine and we’ve taken a few passes at projects, not launching businesses, but entrepreneurial projects has been the stage so far. And it’s it’s been so fun. I mean, her eyes just shine when she has the opportunity to turn this, now, I’ve paid for all the expenses at this point. So she I guess you had to understand a little bit of the cost of startup. So it’s all it’s all profit for her, my nine year old. But the another question is just around global perspective because you guys, actually as a family, I believe it was like nine years ago, moved into a monastery outside of London. Is this part of your story, correct?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:12:00] Yeah, it was a it was a manor house that was once a former monastery, but it was it’s called Headship Priory. And we moved to London to have an experience. I’ve lived in Russia in my twenties, so we will always wanted to have our kids have an experience in Europe. So we moved over, kind of expanded our work globally. We’re now in like 115 countries and it’s it was just the idea of like, let’s go live life differently, especially during the junior high years, which are not the best years in life. And so, you know, it’s rough. So they, they, while they had less friends, they had a lot more experiences than they ever were to have.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:12:43] Part of my curiosity is because we’ve, the last two years, taken our daughters on the road in the RV, the dadAWESOME RV Tour. And there’s there’s for sure count the cost because it’s it’s there’s a cost there. But there’s also this massive learning and experiences and family closeness. So, Will, let me jump over to you. Just like what was that like, I believe. Were you 13 when you made the move?

Will Kubicek: [00:13:04] I was, yeah. So, I mean, it was pretty crazy. We were, you know, pretty settled in Georgia and just kind of sold everything, packed everything into I think it was like 13 suitcases and just went. And it was different, but I absolutely loved it. There was so much to do. And I mean, I’m pretty outdoorsy. And so whether there’s fishing or riding bikes, but also we were plugged into an incredible church. And it really that was whenever I think I really began to be able to communicate with adults at a very young age. And so we I think it was 300 days out of the year we had people staying with us. And so it really opened up my eyes to like what it looks like to just hold a conversation, social skills, but also just be interested before interesting and and really grow up more than I thought I would. And it was it was very eye opening culturally, you know, because I feel like, you know, you think America is the center of the world, but once you get out, you’re like, oh, okay, this is different. I’m the outsider. I don’t have an accent, you know? And so it was really fun.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:14:11] But yeah, Will, just got back from Europe, last week and he just went on a two week adventure with a buddy. And that’s the beauty is like, yeah, go explore, go and see it.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:23] How many years was it that you guys lived in London?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:14:26] Just under two. Just right at a few years. Yeah.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:28] So you got back on time to start that auto detailing business? Is that right? Gotcha. I was curious if you started that over there. So that was on upon the return. Will, when you think about your dad, I know he’s on the call with us right now, he’s in the conversation, so it’s harder to it’s sometimes hard to talk about this, but what areas did he get right when it came to fatherhood? You had a great introduction earlier when I asked you to introduce and you were very affirming and encouraging, honoring. But what areas did he get right? Are there any tangibles, that you’re like, yep, these are things I want to do in the future when I’m a dad.

Will Kubicek: [00:15:00] Yeah, no, I think it was just really in being intentional in every moment. So there was a point in time where he became, I think, busy too intentional whenever we lived in Atlanta and it was very noticeable. So he talks about it all the time, but just how, you know, being purposeful in his actions towards us, letting us know he’s for us. Really raising us up to be ready to launch into life. And so I’d I’d really say he he was purposeful in his actions. So from even just hanging out to having those conversations to building this 16 to 18 apprenticeship track where we went through, and it’s like, all right, you have this much time planning out our life really up until college. And it really I think I’ll take his kind of methods and take those into what I do in the future, because it was, you know, I didn’t realize it at the time, but now being graduated, being a little bit older, I appreciate it a lot more because it really did set me apart.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:16:05] I think one of the big parts, with my wife tonight and I, was we did the Five Voices. So we created a personality. We understood each other’s voices. And so we took Myers-Briggs part with Steve Cockram, myself and Steve Cochran, and we created a different system. It’s an easier system for families to understand personalities. So it’s so much simpler to have a 13 year old we understood. Will is a guardian, which is an ISTJ in Myers-Briggs, ESTJ. And so because of that, knowing he’s a guardian and I’m a connector, he’s my nemesis voice and I’m his nemesis voice. Whereas, his mom is a guardian as well. So they really connect in a different way than he and I do. So one of the things that we did and those who listening, really important to know your kids so you can lead your kids and you know them based on their personality and their wiring, not yours. And I’ve noticed a lot of parents who who basically train people like this is the way it is. You know, you react to me and so do unto others as they would want done is the platinum rule, which is really the golden rule. You go knowing who your kids are, then you can communicate. So my oldest, is the creative. Will is a guardian and our youngest is a nurturer. When we did that it unlocked, I think it’s probably the biggest thing for our marriage and for our relationships because we started speaking to them based on what they wanted.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:17:35] Yes, I have not gone deep into that. So is that a part of the Myers-Briggs family of a research, this Five Voices?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:17:44] No, Five Voices, we created it off of, we created it off of the original union typology, where Myers-Briggs came from. We went to the source code and we built this as a system for people to know. And so that is, you know, I can send you that for your show notes to if people want to go take the test for free.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:06] Amazing. Is that part of, so it’s one of your resources from from GiANT that you use? Is that right?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:18:10] Yes, that’s right.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:11] Okay. Great. That would be fascinating. I’m like, so interested. And I was going to ask Will, just as a secondary, answer on behalf of your sisters, not you. It’s what your sisters would think if they if I asked them, where did your dad miss it, as he got to hit the other side, where did your dad miss it? Again, yeah, what might they say? One or two areas of like he missed it here. This, this was harder, He was working on, he was working on it but didn’t didn’t succeed that often in these areas.

Will Kubicek: [00:18:38] I mean, I’d say it was probably the beginning. He’s really busy, but he noticed that. So he was gone a lot on business trips, but he noticed that and really reversed and kind of became intentional and in every aspect to where he wasn’t bringing work home or he was being or trying to be around a lot more. And so it wasn’t a thing where it was necessarily super harmful, but it was it was something that we would notice because all of a sudden, you know, instead of being gone on business trips, he’s here ready to be.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:19:12] Jeremie, was there a point, it sounds from the conversation, like there was a little bit of a moment that your approach to Father had changed or even career was there, what, what was there something that brought that about? 

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:19:22] Yeah, it was my wife. Yeah, my wife having a conversation with me one night. We were in a very busy stage, I, we owned Catalyst, the Catalyst conferences. I owned a Leadership brand, I owned John Maxwell’s assets. And we were partnering with all these different thought leaders and such. And so and then I was speaking and doing things to and I had a book coming out, so it was just busy. And so my wife was like, Hey, where are you? When you’re here, you’re not here. And I quickly realized that I was being over productive under present. And when you’re over productive and under present, you actually lose influence with those closest to you, which then ultimately could lead to you not being as productive or effective because you’re having to deal with drama. And it wasn’t, I wasn’t dealing with drama with our kids or my wife, but I could see a long term impact and I was more intentional in that. And so what I did is I just elevated my presence and I so I actually wrote a book about this, call the Five Gears. And the Five Gears is a fine language and it teaches families how to have a fine language to know what gear to be in, be in the right gear at the right time. And so the Five Gears, basically, fifth gear is focus mode, fourth gear is passed, third gear is social, second gear is connect, first gear is recharge. So we realized, what time of the day should we be in and what gears. Well, during 6:00 to 8:30, we shouldn’t be in fourth and fifth gear that’s second or third gear time or maybe recharge time, but not. So, what I was doing was I was on the phone too much. And so I started to finally when when I get home about two miles away from our house, I would pick a trigger point and I I’d get off the phone. I put the phone in my bag, leave my bag in the car. So by the time I got home and I’d pray or think about, what are we doing tonight? Do I need to be, what do I need, whre do I get my head? And I got in the right gear for my family. So what happened is Will and I would have a 15 minute drive to football practice. So I’d go, okay, what are we doing tonight? What do we want to talk about tonight? So then I intentionally planted my thought, so then we got in my truck, we’re driving to football, then it was a really intentional conversation. He and I had an amazing football season because I wasn’t on the phone. I wasn’t distracted. I was, I was being appropriately present for that amount of time we had, and that changed the game for our family.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:21:58] Do you recall what year that was? The Pivot.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:22:01] 2010/11. Somewhere in there.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:22:05] Yeah. So you’re yeah, you’re past a decade, past that point and then the Six Summers. Did you call it Six Summers back when you moved into a strategic plan for your kids?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:22:15] No, it was just a sixth apprenticeship track, is what I called it. And it was like, here’s the, I want them to learn how to hear God. Here’s the spiritual side, the emotional side. I wanted him to learn how to manage his own emotions. The IQ, here’s the things he needed to learn. And then it was just practical. You have to learn ten meals before you leave home to make. You need to learn how to do the laundry by yourself. You need to learn how to have a budget. I mean, like the basics. So that’s what we just packaged for, like lets just package all that up and give that to dads for really low cost. And that’s what we’ve what we’ve built.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:22:57] So before the exporting to other dads, though, you came in with the strategy, you apprenticed your three kids. And was it over, so it really was the junior high and high school. Those were the six years, correct?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:23:09] Yeah, it was a general apprenticeship, but then a really specific launch pad between 16 and 18. But I did it different based on the personality. So my youngest, Kate, I did it more with Will and Kate than I did with my oldest because I was just figuring it out. My oldest, poor girl, she didn’t get all that Will and Kate got. But with, with Will and Kate, Will, he’s like checklist, here’s the plan, here’s where you’re going to be, it was very. Kate, that would overwhelm her. So I didn’t really show her the master plan, but we would go and I would take three by five cards and I would have three or four of them and like, All right, here’s the topic. And I’d lay them out at a cafe. She’s a little bit more bougie. She likes it a little bit more, the cafe and the nail salon and those kind of things, so we would do that. And then I would have conversations. And they were mainly around friends, mainly around, you know, things she wants to do, what she’s learning, you know, really functional, practical things. And so that’s that’s also where we were developing The Peace Index. So The Peace Index happened in 2013. And so then The Peace Index has been a key component, which I, that was the book I just wrote. I’ve been doing it for years, but the book just came out this October. And so we use that to really help our relationships.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:38] It felt like they’re layered from what I’ve learned about Six Summers and The Peace Index, it does feel like there’s some layering, which we’ll get into in a moment. I want Will, though, for you to talk about Six Summers. What is it today? How do dads learn more about it? And what have you seen as far as how it’s been, it’s helped give a framework or traction to dads that needed these tools? Yeah, would you talk about it a little bit?

Will Kubicek: [00:25:00] Totally, totally. Yeah. So it’s at sixsummers.com and there’s a bunch of different kind of explanations and resources you can see on there for the actual platform. But what it is today is really a community for dads with an online platform and other resources for them to raise their kids between those six summers. We have dads that are joining early, you know, from 9 and 10 to 11, because they want to make that switch early and really catch on. And so what it is, is to teach dads what to do and how to do it. And how we do that is from the skills, the resources, the conversations and the trips, as well as like rites of passage and some other extra stuff for marriages, different ages of kids. And it really is a unique experience where you get to go in, do base camp, so we call it base camp because it’s the start of the journey and you’re getting healthy mentally, spiritually and physically so that you do that with yourself. And it’s about 5 to 6 sections where there’s tools, but also just kind of intentional moments where you get to think internally and then you take it and do it with your spouse. And then once you’ve done all of that, you do it with each of your kids. And so it’s this really unique experience where you go deep, tell them your story. Everything from parents or gardeners. So you learn about your parenting style. You learn the five voices, get to know yourself and your kids. And so getting healthy before you start the process of Six Summers. And so once you complete that, you go in and build your summer. And we say the summer starts in January. So it’s a full year, it’s not just for the summer. So, you know, you can go in and pick the conversations you want to have. Everything from you are your friends to, you know, how to love mom well, and they’re constantly being uploaded. And then everything from skills like social skills as well as the communication code. And so these really unique tools that are used by so many different professionals and families, but it’s just a very unique way for the dad to use these resources and, you know, the way they want to. And then there’s experiences like one on one camping and a concert swap and then down to trips to family trips. We lead trips, some smaller, more unique HQ led trips, and then we encourage dads to do it on their own with the groups. So like a father son trip with a group of friends and you can actually hire a guide like me with a group of guides that can go with them, and then rites of passage, like everything from graduating into manhood or womanhood to getting a car or starting a business and finally, the launch at 18. So it really is a is a unique platform for everybody to kind of use in the launch of their kids and launching well in the ways they want to.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:28:01] Will, this is phenomenal.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:28:04] Isn’t it fun? And so the cool part of, it is for dad, it is for kids, but it’s really for dad to get to bolster them and help them, resource them and then learn how to apprentice their daughter or their son. So it’s for both, it’s male or female. Doesn’t matter, the kids. But that’s it’s really about the dads.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:28:25] Jeremie, the world that you live in, you know, I’ve been to Catalyst events in the past, I’ve eaten at Chick-Fil-A, like a there’s overlap of I just me personally been impacted by the work that you’ve, the voices you’ve curated, the moments you’ve built. I often will read leadership books and some of them are I mean your most recent book, The Peace Index, like I’ll read a book and I’m like, this is all dad content. So from, from just knowing about what you guys are up to for the past two or three months, haven’t known that long about Six Summers, it feels like there’s decades of leadership assets that are being delivered through a lens of activating dads. Is this, is this correct or am I making this up?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:29:07] No, that’s totally it. Yeah. So we have 75 pools that we used for in business. Probably about 60 of them are totally appropriate for dads.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:29:20] And if I ask, because I asked this question, as we travel around the country, we do these dadAWESOME meetups. And if I ask them like, Hey, how are you learning, growing in the area of fatherhood? Most of these dads will tell me it’s not part of my wheelhouse. Leadership is, you know, finance, you know, this area, that area of health, fitness, but they very few have any kind of plan to grow in their fatherhood. Like like any kind of mentorship, coaching, conferences are going to, reading, it’s just not common but yet the resources are just adjacent to what they’re already learning.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:29:50] And you think about like there’s camps for kids. There’s there’s been Girl Scout, Boy Scouts is kind of dissipating. Right? But most of those are for the kids. They’re not for the dad. But then if you’re in a church, maybe you have a core group of a few intentional dads. But to your point, Jeff, it’s like we need people like you to do what you’re doing. We have to have the liberators, the instigators, the ones who call us up. And so what you’re doing is awesome because we have to have that. All our part of it is, hey, we’re providing resources for a specific age group and a point in time to launch them really well. But there’s others doing great things at five and six and seven year old, you know. It’s just, it’s exactly right. We have to have more dads be liberating leaders.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:30:42] And the term, Will, you said it earlier, liberating dads versus is the other side kind of the command control the controlling is that the other side, the shadow side?

Will Kubicek: [00:30:51] Yeah. It’d be like dominating.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:30:53] Yes. So what, what drew you guys to that language of being a liberating dad? Would you unpack that a little further? Will maybe start with you.

Will Kubicek: [00:31:01] Yeah, it’s really just like Jesus was a liberator. So you can be a lion and a lamb, but if you’re both, you’re liberator. And so it’s really following the principles of Jesus and, you know, raising up, healing and casting out, rather than dominating or abdicating or protecting. And so it’s it’s really being intentional in the way you are, in the way you lead yourself, so that you can lead others. So as a dad, but also as a son, you know, like all of these tools that we’re talking about for dads, they’re taking to their families and will raise up a better future generation that will soon, you know, have families of their own and replicate that process because it’s a it’s a need. And there’s there’s not it takes action to be a liberator and it’s easy to dominate yourself or others.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:31:52] The sequencing of starting with starting with the dad and then the marriage and then moving out seems very strategic and Jeremie can even maybe tag on to the other question and then elaborate on that?

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:32:05] Yeah. So the idea is you can’t give what you don’t possess. So what we do is we help dads with their parenting style. So what Will was just saying it’s like there’s high support and there’s high challenge. We dads need to do both but you need to know who your kids are. If they’re a feeler, then you have to establish support differently than challenge. If they’re a thinker, then challenge will look different than support. So it’s real basic and really hard, but really, really simple at the same time to go, huh, he’s a thinker. Oh my gosh, I’ve been treating him like, I’m a feeler. Well, therefore I’m over emotioning here or under. So the idea is to know your kids, to lead them to go, do I need more support, more challenge? Then you go over to the parent dynamic, and go, my spouse is protecting and I tend to dominate or vice versa. So now we’ve got this conflict in our marriage to go, they come to mom to get X and they come to me to get Y. And if what if we actually both got good support and challenged. So maybe I need to learn how to challenge more or maybe I need to learn how to support more. So when you put those together, it’s a skill set that can be learned. And it just it really eliminates drama from families.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:33:32] Wow. And it takes us and I know we’re going to be a little brief on the response in this one, but The Peace Index just feels like at a fly over would be helpful enough if you could just help us, Jeremie, to even intrigue some of the dead listening to go watch your TEDx talk, because that would, there you go, 15 minutes or whatever, they get the whole thing. But would you just fly over why you created this and how it could affect dads who hold peace, having inner peace, how that can be brought forward into our families.

Jeremie Kubicek: [00:33:59] Yes. So every one of us has a number of overhead, and that number is the level of peace that we feel at that moment, at that time, that day. So there’s issues with dads, a lot of times, they go I don’t understand what’s going on with my daughter or my son. They’re just despondent or depressed or I don’t know. Well there number’s low because of something that happened in school or, so the five numbers to get to your peace level are purpose, people, place, personal health and provision. Well, most of them maybe provision, you’re taking care of their provision like they’ve got money in the house. But it might be a personal health issue. You don’t know about. Puberty or other issues, purpose, maybe they just don’t know that, they don’t feel like they’re in the right spot or their people are off, their friendship, which is normal for most kids, there’s a people issue. Or maybe it’s their place, it’s like they don’t like their at school or so something’s off. So what you’re doing is you’re giving them language to be able to quantify it. It goes back to that dissatisfaction. If we can know where we’re off and why we’re off, we can then control the control of both. So The Peace Index is designed to help you teach kids and teach yourself to manage emotions so other’s don’t have to manage your emotions. And that’s ultimately what I’m about. But trying to build resilience, trying to show people what inner peace look like. So when the storms head, you’ll have iron legs, you’ll walk towards, waves not be swept up by them.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:35:34] Yeah. Wow. Probably they’ll need to be a round two where we go into each of those five. Jeremie, thank you for the flyover. Will, I thought I’d end with asking you, and I just really appreciate your thoughtfulness, looking back at what you experienced and then now what you’ve created to help young dads, you know, dads of really well even of teenagers like forward. But the fact that you’re getting married here in six months or eight months and and you’re in this portion of pre-marriage thinking strategically about helping dads, it just for me, I’m like, I love that you’re in this world, but yet you’re not a dad yet and you’re you’re thinking so thoughtfully around it. I think your prayer, I always invite our guest is pray over me, pray over all the dadAWESOME community. If you could just say a prayer over all of us that we would be moved with a plan, but that we would be willing to step into the areas because all of us have areas that we need to experience first before we can give it away. So would you pray for all of us?

Will Kubicek: [00:36:31] Of course, yeah. Lord, thank you for this time. Thank you just for this conversation, but also the dads that you’re raising up. And thank you for using us to do so. And I just pray that the dads listening will be enriched and use these resources to just go after what it means to be an intentional father and continue to fight for fatherhood as it’s being attacked and really lean into you because you’re you are our Fathers, we are sons of You, everyone is a son. And so I just I pray for resilience in this next season, going into the new year, that there will be an action plan and that dads will take steps to take ground in their in their kids lives and raise them up to be liberators and fight for you. In Jesus name. Amen.

Jeff Zaugg: [00:37:28] Thank you so much for joining us for episode 260 with Will Kubicek and Jeremie Kubicek. The conversation notes are all going to be at dadAWESOME.org/260. Also, they are working on a discount code to help our dadAWESOME audience receive just a discount on the Six Summers experience, the tool kit, all of the resources. So check the show notes. I don’t have that exact detail at the time of recording this outro to the podcast. So check the show notes and whatever podcast app you’re you’re using, just scroll below and look for what is that discount code, it’ll be listed there. Guys, I want to remind you, we are celebrating our five year mark next week, so we’re just a week away from celebrating five years at dadAWESOME. We’re encouraging you guys to prayerfully think about maybe, maybe you want to give a donation to the ministry at the five year mark, whether it’s five bucks, 50 bucks, $500, man, we’re just thankful for the community coming around saying that we believe in this mission. We want to make a donation dadAWESOME.org/give. Also, encouragement is huge, send me an email. I’d love to know how has this podcast been helpful. It’s been so fun to receive some of the emails that are trickling in. Jefff@dadAWESOME.org is my email address. Just send, man, a couple sentences and a family photo. It means so much to me. And then lastly, sharing on social media, sharing something on your Instagram or Facebook saying, Hey dadAWEOSME, it’s been helpful, this is why, here’s an episode that was helpful, that’s all. I’m so grateful for you guys when you share on social media. Guys, thank you for listening this week. Thank you for being dads who are like, Man, I’m not done growing and learning. I’m going to bring my intentionality to this sphere of fatherhood. It matters and it matters for our kids and grandkids and beyond. So thanks for being dadAWESOME. Have a great week, guys.