67 | Model Wonder or Become an Inflexible Sour Puss (Steve Argue)

Steve Argue is associate professor of youth, family, and culture at Fuller Theological Seminary and applied research strategist at the Fuller Youth Institute. Steve researches, speaks, and writes regularly on topics surrounding adolescence, emerging adulthood, faith, and spiritual struggle. This is the 4th conversation in our Creativity Month (April 2019).

Conversation Notes:

  • 3:05 – We wanted to raise confident females who were comfortable in their own skin. Who knew their own voices.
  • 3:25 – looking at the world differently through our girls eyes
  • 4:05 – keep reminding our kids who they are and whose they are
  • 5:15 – the pain of moving as a family and the impact on their girls
  • 5:55 – my daughter is feeling pain and I can’t take this away.
  • 6:00 – it’s never too early and never too late to be the best can you can be in this moment
  • 7:45 – early on the assumption is that your kids will always be pursuing you… And then we get lazy as dads and the relationship is changing. We must continue to pursue them.
  • 8:35 – story about the post-it note “They’re not going to knock forever”
  • 11:05 – accidentally turning our kids into the identifying patient.
  • 11:40 – what type of father do I need to be today for my kids
  • 12:09 – growing with parenting is a mutual journey of intentional growth for both ourselves and our children that trusts God to change us all
  • 12:50 – FREE chapter of book Growing With and free quiz for dads: https://growingwithbook.com/dadawesome/
  • 14:10 – “Withing” and Family Warmth >> we need to realize that the relationship is going to change.
  • 15:07 – Relational warmth is more important that teaching. They need to be loved and cared for and seen and relationally present more than anything.
  • 16:05 – never give up… the next day is a new day and we can step closer to our kids and try again.
  • 16:58 – Fatherhood research about the impact of a dad…
  • 17:40 – dads play a really important role… We as dads must be careful in drifting towards passivity
  • 18:12 – looking to an adult figure is how kids learn about what their Heavenly Father is like
  • 18:40 – we need to go for it. Don’t hold back in talking about your faith.
  • 19:05 – do something crazy for Jesus and give God credit for it
  • 20:05 – going out for coffee and dad buys and then they talk about serious things
  • 20:30 – “Tell me something you believe about faith that you don’t think dad believes”
  • 20:40 – “Tell me something you used to believe that you no longer believe”
  • 22:00 – Learner stage, Explorer stage or a Focuser stage and what type of parenting is needed in each of these stages?
  • 23:10 – Try to say YES more than NO… I think we should respond with YES more often. Why not?
  • 24:02 – We must make room for creativity. A rushed life has no room for creativity.
  • 24:35 – Living filled with WONDER
  • 25:00 – Nobody says, when I’m in my 60’s or 70’s I’m going to be inflexible and a sour puss. It sneaks up on us.
  • 25:15 – How do we make sure we’re infusing wonder in our own lives?
  • 25:27 – How do we show genuine interest in our kids?
  • 25:40 – “If you could describe your day as a dessert, what kind of a day did you have today?”
  • 26:50 – avoid putting all our eggs in one epic basket. Look for the epicness in the little things along the way.
  • 28:40 – You were made to be a dad and your kids need you. Help them find their voice and never give up
  • 29:20 – you’re not alone. Seek out another dad to take this fatherhood journey together with. Don’t father alone.

Episode Links:

Free Chapter and Parent Quiz

Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future

http://www.stevenargue.com/

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