Terry Esau [00:00:02] When I feel that nudge, you got to respond. This is an opportunity to live an adventurous life. This is what the spirit is calling us to this abundant, adventurous life. Right. To ignore nudges is to say, I don't want to live that adventurous life. Life. Speaker 2 [00:00:19] Welcome to dadAWESOME. Welcome to dadAWESOME. You've joined a movement of intentional Christian dads who are adding life to the dad life. Thanks for taking a courageous step towards learning and growing and being mentored as you become DadAWESOME for your kids. On this podcast, my dad, Jeff Zaugg, interviews intentional dads from all around the world as he explores the path of becoming dadAWESOME. Jeff Zaugg [00:00:55] This is episode one hundred and seventy six of DadAWESOME, and my name is Jeff Zaugg and I am so thankful that each of you guys you're listening right now, whether you're doing yard projects or working out or driving somewhere or whatever you're doing, it's a big deal that you're listening. And I believe you are going to take a step towards becoming DadAWESOME as you listen today. Our guest today is Terry Esau. I'll introduce him in just one minute here. Let me quickly invite you guys to two action steps to DadAWESOME action steps.  The first one is to join our text message group. So we have a new text platform that's going to allow you to get specific messages that are going to nudge you in the direction of becoming more DadAWESOME. So, again, we're switching platforms from a former text message platform to this new system that's going to be much more specific to it's going to that's going to help target specific messages that you guys opt into. So simply text 651-370-8618. The number one more time is 651-370-8618.  It's in the show notes as well. It's linked all over, so you can't miss it. Just text that number, text the word "DAD" and you'll be opted in. You'll have to do quick fill out a simple response form and you can stop at any point. So no stress here, but I'd love to invite you in so that you're in the loop on what's happening with DadAWESOME. Speaking of what's happening, I want you guys to save the date. You don't have to reserve the entire day. But I just want you to mark your calendar at some point on Monday, June 21st. Just write down DadAWESOME day. So it's put it on your calendar to just look look up. What's happening? We're going to be pretty clear with our social media, with our email list, with a podcast that day. But the day after Father's Day is DadAWESOME day. I want you to keep an eye out. We're going to have some fun that day. It's going to be a launch pad into a year of becoming DadAWESOME for each one of us, accepting a challenge to step into more intentional fatherhood. So DadAWESOME day is Monday, June 21st. Today, though, Terry Esau joins me. And he is a dad of daughters. He is he is a composer, a producer, an author, a bike-aholic a guitar giver. He started Free Bikes for Kids, which is now a national and global movement of giving kids bicycles, changing kids lives, bringing shine, bringing a shine, a glow to their eyes as they receive a bike. And you're going to love this conversation. I was so impacted. And I to encourage you guys, lean in, lean into this conversation. There's so many action steps for each one of us. So this is episode 176 with Terry Esaw. Terry Esau [00:03:26] Three daughters who are in their 30s, eight grandkids. It's funny because three daughters and now we have seven grandsons and one granddaughter. Oh, funny. So, yeah, gender flipped the story and now I'm, you know, riding and wrestling with grandsons, which is incredible. Jeff Zaugg [00:03:47] And then when you say riding, I know cycling is a passion of yours. Are your are your grandkids, are they all biking or some of them too little still to bike? Terry Esau [00:03:54] Well, one of them is only a few months old, so he's a slow learner. We think he should be riding by now. But, you know, almost all of my grandkids were riding not like with training wheels. I tried not to let them use training wheels because that's the worst way to learn how to ride a bike. Jeff Zaugg [00:04:13] That's my strategy to Stryder Bikes, right? Terry Esau [00:04:15] Stryder No Jeff Zaugg [00:04:15] battle. Biennials Yeah, yeah, yeah. Terry Esau [00:04:18] So a lot of my grandkids, they literally are riding bikes before they're two years old. Jeff Zaugg [00:04:24] OK, we have to go into this further because I believe you're on to something that so many dads listening are still their kids are little or they're having their first child and don't have this insight and they strap the training wheels on. Right. And I've never used train wheels for my daughters, so I'm on the same page. Talk a little more. Why? Why is it the better way? Terry Esau [00:04:39] Well, training wheels teaches you how not to balance. You know, in the whole point of riding a bike is you have to learn how to balance. That's the trick. Right. So you you if you don't use training wheels, if you get them a balanced bike, you actually don't have to teach them how to ride a bike. They teach themselves. They just start pushing along with their feet. And pretty soon they understand that, oh, if I turn this way, it balances. Yeah. I mean, they literally they learn automatically. Jeff Zaugg [00:05:08] This is the first time I've ever had a conversation on the podcast about about learning to ride a bike. But it's so I actually think there's some parallels to other areas of dad's life because if you strap train wheels on, then you don't have to be near them. You can step away and let them kind of just head down the side of the street and leaning back and forth on one train with the other. Now, if you use a balanced bike, I think I think it does include a little more focused attention, but it accelerates their learning. Would you agree? Terry Esau [00:05:34] Absolutely. Yeah. And there probably are a million applications to life with that, too. It's like because there's do we want to live our lives with metaphorical training wheels and, you know, living cautiously and safe, you know, like, oh, this will catch me if I, you know, I'll try this, but I got to have a backup plan for this, not the backup plans are bad. I shouldn't say that. But I kind of I kind of feel like we should live our lives with this adventure and hope and excitement. You know, it's like instead of instead of living cautiously, it's just it's just not a great way to live. And I know Jesus didn't you know he was the opposite of that. Jeff Zaugg [00:06:15] He bombed that hill. Let's go. Terry Esau [00:06:17] Let's go. Put his feet up and said, well, yeah, he yelled, I'm sure Jeff Zaugg [00:06:22] you can be caught yourself. No. So I want to go back to you talking about your dad being, I think you said like a seventeen year old up here. Do you say seventeen year old. Terry Esau [00:06:29] Seventeen year old in his mind Jeff Zaugg [00:06:30] when he was ninety Terry Esau [00:06:32] three. Jeff Zaugg [00:06:32] Ninety three. OK, and you said you're like him. Talk a little more what you mean by that as far as your mind and the way you think being young, sharp, aggressive, daring, like, like go a little further into that. Terry Esau [00:06:45] Well, OK, let me tell you a little about my dad. Yes, my dad was part of a large family. His his father actually was like an itinerant preacher for much of his life, and he had jobs that would make enough money. And then he'd preach. They lived in like a tarpaper shack for part of the time growing up. After my dad graduate finished 10th grade, they said, we can't afford to feed you. You're on your own. So my dad at after tenth grade had to go out and get a job and work. Jeff Zaugg [00:07:17] Sixteen years old. Terry Esau [00:07:18] Yeah, right. Right. So, you know, and my dad was a great reader. He loved books and reading, you know, he loved reading his Bible, but he loved reading anything and he taught himself. And at one point he was like, I you know, he ran for the the city council of this little town that we lived in, two thousand people. And then he goes, I'm going to run for the Minnesota state legislature, you know, and he ended up being in the Minnesota legislature for 18 years. And here's this guy with a 10th grade education. But he is there. You know, he didn't let the problem of not having that education hold him back. Yeah. You know, he kind of took things into his own hand and he said, I can educate myself by reading books, you know, so. So he did that. Yeah. And he was you know, he was a flawed man, just and a flawed father, just like I am. And me. Yeah, but you know what he he modeled, he modeled boldness and courage, and I think that's what has helped me. It's like, you know, because my I actually have I haven't had a job with air quotes for those of you out there, I haven't really had a job since I was 19 years old. And I've been self-employed and done my own thing. So and I think that's partly due to my my dad saying, hey, can you do this? Yeah, it might you might fail. But he didn't say this. But I my philosophy is fail quickly and fail often and then move on, you know. Right. Jeff Zaugg [00:09:04] And just like it's a I feel like it's almost a posture of leaning forward versus saying excuses or saying I'm going to back away. And was it Joseph in the Bible that said that his eyes were shining when he was super old? Was it Joseph or am I missing that one up? Terry Esau [00:09:18] I you know, I don't remember. Jeff Zaugg [00:09:19] My wife does she does. The notes for the podcast is she'll correct in the notes if it wasn't. But I think when you say, like, that's how it was his mind frame in his 90s, that's what I want to be is thinking. Let's go. Let's take on the next challenge. Let's let's not lean back and rest and say I'm done with taking new ground. And it's a perspective. You said you're sixty six years old, Terry. Like what? When you think about retirement, is it even is that is that like a four letter word, the R word? Or do you are you open to it, you know? Terry Esau [00:09:47] Well, I don't really know what that means, you know, because. To me, it's like you do what you love and you feel like you're drawn to you're passionate about, where you're gifted, and as long as you're doing those things, I kind of look at it this way. If I retired, I'd probably keep doing what I'm doing because it's what I want to do and it's what I feel.... I use the word "called to" very loosely, because that's, you know, who who knows? I'm not sure I read God that clearly all the time to know for sure, but to know for sure. Right. But, you know, I think God wants us to he wants to use us. He wants us to use the skills that he's given us. And a lot of times when you use the skills that you've been given, it's the natural fit and you actually have fun doing it, so and, you know, my philosophy is when I'm not having fun doing something anymore, I'm probably going to quit doing that and do something else or find something else that that I have fun. So it's you know, it's really interesting because I've had two huge loves in my life. Music and cycling. Yeah. And I built a career around each of them, you know, and it's so now what I'm doing is my career is my hobby and my hobby is my career. So as long as you know when you can do that, retirement becomes a non-issue almost, I think completely. Jeff Zaugg [00:11:21] And there are some people listening right now that don't have that blended at all as far as their passions and their income source, their career, any just and not that it has to be that way, but it's the way you've chosen it, the way that I chose. And I'm thankful to have that opportunity. But any just thoughts around what if what if the dad listening, they their job is actually sucking the life out of them and they feel stuck because they need that salary, they need that paycheck. Any just thoughts on ways for them to explore, a step of courage. Terry Esau [00:11:52] First of all, I have a lot of empathy because I know there are a lot of people out there. And, you know, a lot of times you get stuck where you you have to you know, you have a house payment, you've got all these you've got medical bills, you've got all the stuff. You can't walk away from where your money is coming from. So it's a tough situation. Here's how I have chosen to kind of look at this. You know, first of all, I look at the Holy Spirit not as a dove, but as a sharp elbow. And, you know, and our job is to keep tender ribs so that we feel the nudge of that sharp elbow. So throughout my life, I've never felt, you know, people talk about, oh, God, open this door. What I have noticed in my life is that when when God is trying to move me to something different, I become restless. And so I'm just sitting there and I'm gone. Something doesn't feel right. And that's, you know, I'm on my my third or fourth career. I don't know what you do, what you call it, but I think I would encourage dads to go. If you're feeling restless, it might not just be the pizza you had last night. It might actually be the spirit saying I have something else for you. Yeah. You know, and I'm not saying quit your job and go pursue that thing, but start exploring, begin the process of going, what else is there and what what is in the back of my mind that that will not let go of me. I have this idea to do something. Yeah. You know, that that's very could very likely be the Holy Spirit saying this is where I want to take you. Yeah, but you need to take a first step. Sure. And maybe you do that maybe as you do it incrementally. I've always said incrementalism is the enemy of change, but that's that's a personality thing, too. There are some people who go we just they dove in and are other people who go. I got to take this step by step. Jeff Zaugg [00:14:06] Yeah. You said the Holy Spirit is like a sharp elbows out. You said yes. Yeah. So I think quarterbacks in football would wear a lot of flak jacket. Yes. Yes, I've worn one of those before. Yeah. Funny story. I wasn't wearing it as a quarterback though. I wore a flak jacket. Well, air cheering So behind a boat, there's this thing called a hydrofoil that goes on a chair. Yeah. We were doing such high jumps that I needed a flak jacket to protect my ribs from falling. So that's a whole other story about crazy water skiing. And that sounds fun. Well, but imagine that like that protective armor around your ribs that you would hardly feel that sharp elbow. Right. And I'm afraid I'm afraid that that too many of us have built up fear has caused us to put on a flak jacket. Terry Esau [00:14:46] You are exactly right. Jeff Zaugg [00:14:47] And then we're not feeling the nudge or not feeling touch or not exploring because we feel completely stuck. When you say our job is tender ribs, is that. Yes. So go in a little further. What do you mean by tender ribs? Terry Esau [00:14:58] Well, it's it's awareness. It's presence. You know, you actually I think you're exactly right. Fear fear is the the material of a flak jacket. And the trouble with fear is the longer you allow fear to reside inside of you, it lay it builds layers on that flak jacket and makes it harder for you to feel the nudge, to hear the voice. So. And I think the more we respond to that sharp elbow. And we go, oh, I, I would never have thought of that, but that nudge, you know, I called so-and-so and it turned into this great conversation. Now you go. Next time you feel that elbow in your ribs, you go, I might want to pay attention to this. Yeah. So I think, you know, fear builds up the layers on the flak jacket. Responding to the nudge reduces the layers. And I think I still hear imperfectly and feel nudges imperfectly. Sure. But I am much more. I think I'm much more attuned to being willing to feel that nudge. Yeah. You know, and I think I'm trying I'm trying really hard to be much more when I feel that nudge. You gotta you gotta respond. Yeah. Because this is an opportunity to live an adventurous life. This is what the spirit is calling us to this abundant, adventurous life. Right. So to to ignore nudges is to say, I don't want to live that adventurous life. Jeff Zaugg [00:16:44] And you know what? Who doesn't wear a flak jacket? Who doesn't experience fear? It's little kids who say feel the nudge every time. And they they respond. And sometimes it's in meltdown moments of their feeling, all the all the feels and emotions are going crazy, which is maybe the season of having a little bit more right now. Your grandkids are in that season. But I just want to have wonder I want to I want to experience great work experience the nudge. And actually, for me, pain is a good indicator of maybe an area of passion. And I think I think some of some of the dads listening right now know things that cause them to be angry or frustrated or sad. And that is a linkage between that thing and potentially the deeper passion area that they should chase after go into that concept just a little further. Terry Esau [00:17:32] Well, can I come back to your word, wonder? I think wonder and curiosity are two sides of a coin kind of, of the same coin. Yep. And I think. Curiosity is really it's one of my favorite words, because I think it is the greatest way to live your life and you talk about children. Children are curious about everything. You know, they ask "why?" All the time. I'm sure your kids are asking you that, especially as they get a little older and you tell them, this is what I want you to do. And they say, why? But they they do this because they're curious to know and to understand and to learn. And I think too often as adults, we get to that place where we think we've we understand now and we start to lose our wonder. We start to lose our curiosity. And and I think that's when we get ourselves in trouble, you know, that's when fear kind of can come in and take the place of that curiosity too. You know, kids get hurt all the time. Because they're doing things that they probably shouldn't. But it's the only way they learn, the only way you learn to bike, to ride a bike is by falling a few times. Right? So so why are we so afraid as adults to fall? You know, especially when you think about we have this relationship with God that. We're no, we know we're not falling for good, right? I mean, we're going to get picked up. Doesn't mean that life is going to be easy. Yeah, but it's like we we know where we're going when we know the story. Jeff Zaugg [00:19:21] So and if our if we're trusting are ourselves, our own experiences, our own strengths, we're living in a place of like playing it safe. There is a prayer that you've challenged for I think it was like 15 years ago. You wrote this book around. "Lord, surprise me." Kind of a kind of an interesting, dangerous prayer to say, hey, I'm open to being surprised at ties with this theme of wonder. Right. Right. Talk about that book or just the themes around, like being open in asking for surprises. Terry Esau [00:19:55] So so a lot of people misinterpret what it means. Well, the story I'll tell you the story first. So it's like I. I've always wanted my faith to be tangible and to feel real, you know, so I got this idea to do a 30 day spiritual experiment, to wake up every morning, begin the day with a three word prayer surprised me. God, but not you know, it's not surprise me with a new escalator's surprise me. You know, if your students surprise me with an a surprise me with the most beautiful girl and she'll say yes when I ask her out, you know, it's surprise me, God, with whatever you want to bring into my days. And then I decided to keep a journal which I had never done in my life. So I. I kept a journal which ended up being like a two hundred and seventy page journal, one of those 30 days. And the and Naff press published the Journal. But yeah, I learned a lot from doing that experiment and I learned that. Yeah, God is in he's still in the surprise business, you know, you read the Old Testament, some of the stories, you go, wow, I bet, I bet Daniel didn't see that coming. I bet Joseph didn't see that coming, you know? Well, I'm the same way. It's like sometimes I go to bed at night and I go, wow, I did not see that coming, you know? So to have the faith and the courage to invite God to interrupt our days is basically it's taking off the flak jacket and saying, I don't need this, I'm going to take 30 days, be flak jacketless and I'm going to try to feel every nudge of the spirit. And and some of those nudges were like, you know, one day my wife looked at me and said, you know, you're kind of selfish. And I was like, OK, so now I have to write about this in my journal. This was my "surprise" for the day of my wife telling me I'm selfish. I'm gonna I probably already knew that. But it's like this is how we grow and this is how this is how I think Jesus wants us to grow. Yeah. By bringing people into our lives who hold mirrors up to us and bringing people into our lives, who maybe even sometimes we get to be the mirror. Jeff Zaugg [00:22:28] Your posture, though, is curiosity, like we talked about earlier. And then there's the flip side with not only you could do a challenge where you you're looking and you're curious and you're saying surprised me, God. But then there's the flip side of what if we were part of the surprise for others? I know that was a secondary resource that you created, but talk about that side. Terry Esau [00:22:48] Well, it's yeah. So the second book or the in that series was called Be the Surprise. So once you once you open yourself up to to God, to the Spirit and saying, I want to see your presence in my day, I want to I want to feel it, I want to notice it. I want to be aware. Now you go. That comes with a choice. Do I do I act on that nudge? Do I respond? Do I do I become a participant? I say, you know, God wants to write us into his story and he wants to write his story into us. So but you. If you don't allow. That process to take place, you never get to be part of the story, you know, it's like there's so many stories in my first book where I had a choice, I got a nudge and I had a choice. And some of those nudges have ended up into 20 or 15 year relationships now of people. And I go, I, I had an instant where I could respond or not respond. Sure. You know, so Be the Surprise is a great invitation for us to become surprise agents of God to participate in his story. And in the story that he is writing, you know, the nudge is his pen writing our story. Yeah, you know, and we get to choose to react to it and be part of it and think about that, how humbling is it that the Creator of everything we see actually wants to participate in with me in writing a story that will impact other people's lives and my family and my grandkids and, you know. Jeff Zaugg [00:24:41] Yeah, and if the other people is one neighbor or one coworker or one child. Right. That's still another life that gets to go forward. And we have no idea the ripple effect. But sometimes the other people that God uses us to write into their stories could be thousands and thousands and thousands of. In your case, one tangible is a Guinness World Record, which I think we need to jump there, because when I and I see I saw a picture this morning on the website, Free Bikes for Kids, the organization you started of a little girl smiling with glasses on in this helmet. She's on her bike and like the delight and wonder in her eyes. Yeah, it's just like it's worth a thousand words, right? Her that looking and know the picture I'm talking about. Terry Esau [00:25:29] She's in pink. Jeff Zaugg [00:25:29] Oh, my goodness. Yes. So. So would you quick describe the world record and then will backdrop will go back in time and talk about the organization. Terry Esau [00:25:38] Yes. So we collect used bikes from the general public one by one out of people's garages. And here in Minneapolis, I think it was three years ago, we somebody said, I wonder if we could hold the world record for this. So I called Guinness and I said, what's the world record for bike collections, you know, collecting bikes in one day or whatever? And they said, I think it's around a thousand. And they said, do you think you can beat that? And I said, well, we we've been collecting like 5000 bikes every year for the last five years. So I'm pretty sure we can beat it. So that year when we set the Guinness World Record, it was five thousand five hundred and twelve bikes. And then the next year, in one in four hours, we collected over 10000 bikes. So our Guinness we've doubled our Guinness record, even though we haven't updated it. Jeff Zaugg [00:26:33] Didn't have a representative that next year. Terry Esau [00:26:35] Well, it costs a minimum of eight thousand dollars to set a Guinness World Jeff Zaugg [00:26:38] Record to fly someone out to be the judge. Yeah, the real deal. Terry Esau [00:26:42] So I'm going I'm not spending any more money on a Guinness World Record. We already have it. Jeff Zaugg [00:26:46] Five thousand five hundred twelve bikes. These are repurposed bikes. In one day you gathered and have distributed through its partner organizations, schools, churches, organizations. Right. So you talk about the mission of the organization, what you do. Terry Esau [00:27:00] Well, you know, Jeff, it kind of comes back to, you know, the Surprise Me and Be the Surprise. You know, when when Jesus said love your neighbor as yourself, I don't think he meant for us to go, I love you, neighbor. Maybe he meant that. Yeah, yeah. But but sometimes love has to be more than just words. So I think for me, like I told you, I love bikes every time I get on my bike. I'm five years old again, just like that girl in pink. But I just thought this is a way to tangibly love the underserved kids in the world. You know, the vast majority of our bikes go to kids of color. These are kids who they're not going to get a bike. You know, they're in really tough situations, you know, and it's and when they get the bike, the kids are beaming. And and sometimes it's a parent or a grandma who is bringing them. And they have tears in their eyes, you know, because I wasn't able to buy a birthday present for for my kid or a Christmas present. And now I got them a bike. And really, let's be honest, is there a better gift than a bike? Jeff Zaugg [00:28:14] It's for sure. It's for sure the best I'm picturing there was a car that ran over the back door of the garage sale off the street back to over one of my daughter's bikes. And it's just like an unfortunate she parked on the curb. And so it wasn't a safety thing, but she backed over within twenty four hours. I found and I think it's a Facebook marketplace, I found a 20 dollar bike. I went and got it, brought it in the delight in her eyes. It was equal to a Disney trip. I mean, we're talking it's a $20 bike. So I get this, that and it did not matter. None of my girls have ever got a new bike. They've all been second hand. So it does not matter if it's new or used. It's still it's it's yours. It's your bike and it's your ticket to wonder and to fun and play and neighbor interactions. I mean I mean through Covid like bikes, we're like the one because of the proximity like our bike that was the neighbor interaction was on bikes. Right. In my neighborhood it was a godsend. Terry Esau [00:29:07] So I always say it's it's the biggest thing a kid owns between a teddy bear and a car, you know, is your bike. Yeah. And it's your ticket to explore the world, you know, and for a lot of these kids, it's the only way they can get to an after school program or something like that because they might just have a single parent working and, you know, so it opens up opportunities for them. Jeff Zaugg [00:29:32] So and I know some about your I mean, you really you started the organization out of your garage with your buddies that that cycled together and then and then now your role as far as expansion is going, not only national but global with a is it is it a one million bike by twenty twenty five did I get that right. Terry Esau [00:29:48] Well yeah it is my, my board, you know, this is the trouble. You, you aspire to get a board that is as visionary as you are and then you get that and then all of a sudden you go, oh wait a minute here. A million bikes by twenty, twenty five. I've been trying to say in the next five years we're going to give away a million bikes, but we're we're in 15 cities. We've given away 100000 bikes where we want to be in the next five years in 100 cities and give away a million bikes. Jeff Zaugg [00:30:18] Yeah, well, you're visionary, your heart and you're like, I get to be a part of this posture versus when it's one, you know, starts an organization and they're strategically trying to grow it. And it's this like I hope that I never have that heart of like, what can I accomplish? Because you're what I see in your eyes, Terry, is a I get to be the thrill of the ride of I get to be a part of this. And what if what if this happens. And I, I share that heart and I think I shared with you, I mean our twenty twenty five vision is to give away twenty five million dollars to the fatherless. And we're currently we're in about six hundred dads, about five cities with Fathers for the Fatherless that initiative. But I have no doubt that there's going to be an overlap of seeing these two visions accomplished that that we'll be a part of. And that's why I want all the listeners of DadAWESOME to go learn about to volunteer with in all these cities. You have volunteers, you've got people that make donations that can give so so lots of intersection points and they'll all be listed in the in the show notes as far as ways the dads can go see the picture of that smiling girl. Yeah, that's right. In the front of your website. And then. And then and then be a part of what you guys are doing. So so I'm thrilled about it. But I want to I want to jump back into for a moment thinking about your daughters, because I'm a dad of daughters. I have I have four now. Terry Esau [00:31:29] You beat me. Jeff Zaugg [00:31:30] I only have three at the time of this recording, thirteen days old, my little one. So so I'm super thankful. But when you think Dad life, just wisdom, ideas areas to add a little extra focus when you reflect back on three decades, you know your girls, my girls were three decades younger in that, in that regard. It's funny, I've only two decades younger age wise. But the when you think though, what what would you share with me of like, hey, put a little more focus here as far as my dad life, my fatherhood game. What what advice would you have for me. Terry Esau [00:32:06] Wow. That could be a whole podcast. You know, that is true. So early in my when my kids were little, I was in the music business, so I wrote and produced music for TV commercials. That was my career. My first career and recording sessions do not run on a clock very well, you know. So it you know, I would tell my wife, I, I think I'm going to be home at six and I've got a whole recording studio full of musicians and the client is sitting in the back of the control room and we've got three hours left to go, you know, and it was it was really hard because I felt like I was neglecting my family. So, but it was difficult. And I and I'm sure a lot of fathers out there, you know, you have a boss or an employer who has high expectations of what your deliverables are. And if you want to keep your job, you have to meet those. So how do you create a balance between that and your family? It's a difficult thing. And I, I don't think I did very well when I was when my kids were really young. I wish I would have done better at that. But I did do some things where I coached all three of our daughters in soccer and basketball so so that we had that kind of thing alone with them. But I think I think you have to go - when you are present, can you really be present? You know, because we're pulled a lot of different ways as dads and moms. So it's it's choosing to be as present as you can and try to always keep perspective, you know, that whatever the business is that you're growing. The legacy is your kids, the legacy is your family, what kind of humans are they growing up to be? Yeah, you know, and I will say my daughters. They're. They're great human beings, you know. Despite maybe my failings, my daughters have ended up being great human beings, so I'm really grateful for that. Actually, can I tell you one story about one of my daughters and all of them. I could tell stories about all of them, but I think I might have told you this before. My youngest daughter, Taylor, she was in school out in Seattle. We went to visit her one summer. She was working at a restaurant downtown Seattle as a server. We had a restaurant there and she she got a sandwich. She ate half of it and put it in the other half in a box and said, I'm going to, you know, find a homeless person out there to give it to. And, you know, so we're we're walking back towards where our car was parked and didn't see, you know, a rare sight. We didn't see we didn't see any homeless people until we got right across the street from where a car was parked. And there was a man with a sign that said simply, I'm hungry and I in my soul, I'm going, thank you, God. You just provided, you know, this opportunity for my daughter. So she walks up to him and she said, I have I just had lunch. Here's half a sandwich. And he turned his back on her. He didn't take the sandwich. He wouldn't look at her. He just turned his back to her. And there's a garbage can, you know, a waste thing on the corner of the street with a ledge around it. And Taylor walked over toward it and I thought, well, she's going to throw it away, which I assume she would. But instead she set it on the ledge and she opened up the Styrofoam box and she folded the tin foil out so that the sandwich was visible. And then she walked across the street. She didn't say a thing to this man. And I go, my daughter just taught me a lesson. You can be benevolent. In such a way that it does not necessarily keep the dignity of people intact. And if we are not as concerned about people's dignity as we are about their their needs, their physical needs, we're missing something. Yeah, I think Jesus was somebody who goes, I care about your dignity. I care about you as a human. You know, I you know, my daughter taught me something. And that's something that I take into my free bikes for kids. Like a lot of times on our giveaway events, I, I give a little talk and I say, look, you're going to see some people, they're going to drive up in an Escalade or they're going to drive up in a car that's nicer than your car. That's not our issue today. And that may be the best thing they own. So let's be kind. Let's be generous. We're here to to bless somebody today and make their day. Let's do that. And, you know, I think that's that's the Jesus way, isn't it? Yeah. Jeff Zaugg [00:37:46] And that's that's a big part of why this podcast exists and why this Ministry of DadAWESOME is how can we how can we show in small ways and sometimes we're shown by our kids, like your example. But how can we just point to we have a God who is all things awesome. Yeah, he's our heavenly father. He calls us his heavenly father. And how can we just show and be a part of and what was it look like to be a little more like him to love like him? And so often we get it wrong. So often that's the life as we stumble our way forward. But I guess as we kind of end, I, I hope that everyone listening. I hope that as a dad, they have more courage, more faith that we don't have to play it safe. And I feel that every time I hang out with you, Terry, is a level of like I'm not going to play it safe. I want to go after the bigger vision and the odds of it. Just the Guinness World Record example. That's the macro and the micro is your daughter and that precious moment. But both have equal massive like it's part of a story being written. Right. Right. And I guess anything to add to the kind of closing hopes for the dads listening that we would just not play it safe. Terry Esau [00:39:00] Here's my hope for you. Yeah, I. I hope I live. So if your daughters are three decades behind, so I'd be I'd be ninety seven. Ninety six. I hope I live to that age and I want to sit down like this with you and I want you to tell me a story about one of your daughters like I just did about my daughter. You know, that's the beauty about... The beauty of getting older is you begin to see the impact, I guess, you know, and I'm not owning this. I should give a whole lot of credit to my wife Mary on this. But when you see your kids grow up and and they start teaching you lessons. And if you can be just like you need to have tender ribs to the Holy Spirit, you should be better keep tender ribs to your kids too, especially when they get older because they can teach us stuff, you know, and and actually, there's nothing more beautiful than being taught a lesson by one of your kids. You get the benefit of personal growth, but you get the benefit of just the joy of celebrating your daughter's growth and going, wow, I love that. What a beautiful human being she is. You know, it's father. Fatherhood is a big job. And and just to let you know, it doesn't end at 18. Jeff Zaugg [00:40:42] Still going when your girls are in their 30s and still going. Terry Esau [00:40:44] It's like my my oldest daughter, actually, all my daughters. They're sharing. Hey, Dad, I just listen to this podcast. You've got to hear this. And we sit and have these conversations that are life giving. And I love that. I mean, this this is what if retirement if I actually did retire, I think that's what my retirement would be, is having these discussions with my daughters and my sons in law. The gift I sons-in-law are great guys. Jeff Zaugg [00:41:15] To whom would you enter our time? I just seen a short prayer over all of us listening. Terry Esau [00:41:19] Sure. God, thank you for Jeff and what he's doing with DadAWESOME. You are the example of that. You know, says Jesus was the exact representation of the father. So if we look at Jesus, even though he wasn't the father here on Earth, what an example to follow an example of doing things differently, of loving people differently, loving them completely, irrespective of any of the stuff that gives us a reason not to love. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. Who does that when they're being crucified? That's a kind of love teach us to love like that, teach us to hold our children. To mold our children to. Not hold on too tightly, not to put too many restrictive training wheels on them, to give them the freedom to express themselves and to spread their wings. I'm thinking of a quote by G.K. Chesterton. He said, Grow straight and let life bend you. God help us to. Let you bend us and grill us into what you want us to become. And that's the adventure. Write your story into us, Amen. Jeff Zaugg [00:43:12] Thank you so much for joining us today for Episode 176 with Terry Esaw, all the conversation notes, the action steps, the transcripts, they're all all going to be at DadAWESOME.org/176. I want to remind you again, put on your calendar June 21st is a Monday, put on your calendar, DadAWESOME Day. That is the launch to a year of becoming more DadAWESOME for each of our families. So there's going to be more information coming out soon about that. And then one more time, that text message link to be a part of DadAWESOME updates and to get this intentional nudge towards becoming DadAWESOME 651-370-8618. That's the number you want to text one more time: 651-370-8618. You'll just text the word "DAD" and you'll be in the loop on updates. You'll get a response back. Have to fill out just a few pieces of information and then we will we will help nudge you in that direction of becoming more DadAWESOME. Guys, thanks for listening today. It's a big deal that you listened. Let's lean in. Let's serve our families. Let's connect with the hearts of our kids. Let's become more DadAWESOME this week.