Mark Batterson [00:00:04] The deepest desire of my heart is to be famous in my own home, and it's hard to be famous in your own home if you're never home. It's me being able to look in the mirror and know that I love them, I gave them the best I've got, that this dysfunctional dad is not perfect, gave them the best that he had. Podcast Trailer [00:00:28] Welcome to dadAWESOME. You've joined a movement of intentional Christian dads who are adding life to the dads life. Thanks for taking a courageous step towards learning and growing and being mentored as you become DadAWESOME for your kids. On this podcast, my dad, Jeff Zaugg, interviews intentional dads from all around the world as he explores the path of becoming DadAWESOME. Jeff Zaugg [00:01:04] This is Episode 179 of DadAWESOME, thank you for joining us. Last Sunday was Father's Day, so happy Father's Day we just had a couple of days ago, DadAWESOME Day, June 21st. And I'm so thankful that you guys are joining us today. I've got to if you're watching on YouTube, my two month old daughter Zara is in my arms. So so my wife is gone. I've got all four girls and she's not napping. So she is recording this intro outro with me. So today is part two with Pastor Mark Batterson. So Pastor Mark Batterson joined us last week for part one, the set up, we decided let's sandwich Father's Day with two episodes from Mark Batterson. So I'm glad you're joining us today. Want to remind you guys, Fathers for the Fatherless, this one hundred mile bike ride we are approaching in like four days here, June 27th is the deadline for our Minneapolis St. Paul our Minnesota team. It's our flagship event, our third year here. You need to register by midnight Sunday, June 27th. If you want to get in on riding one hundred miles and being a part of us raising a million dollars for the fatherless. So, so Zara - Good idea? Bad idea? Or she thinks it's a good idea to register. So OK, that aside, that's the only announcement this week. I guess one last thing for you is our DadAWESOME text lines. We have a a nudge, a helpful little reminder about intentionality in the dad game, the dad life. You just need to join our list by texting 651-370-8618. Just text the word "DAD" and we'll keep you in the loop on all things happening with DadAWESOME 651-370-8618 and you'll be in the loop. Just text her dad to that number. All right, let's get after it. Part two with Pastor Mark Batterson. Jeff Zaugg [00:02:59] Talking about influencers who have shown us the direction that we want to head for our fatherhood journey, I've read a number of times you talking about your wife's dad and the impact that he had on your life. So, Bob Schmidgall, I just I know that he is now in heaven, but that he in those early years of marriage when you were dating, he was someone you look to. I was wondering if you could just talk about him and how your fatherhood journey was affected by his deposit. Mark Batterson [00:03:25] Yeah, I think there were a couple of things. I studied his life. I saw him getting up at five a.m. to pray every morning. And so, ironically, The Circle Maker, the book is dedicated to him that in fact, what I said was I wrote a book on prayer. He wrote the book on prayer, planted and pastored a church for thirty one years and so long obedience in the same direction. But, you know, it's funny, Jeff, I picked up little things too,  little things, like he would always pick up his phone if if it was one of his kids calling. And so I tried to do that same thing with my kids. They're just little little things. He would occasionally we we this was in the Chicago area and he would occasionally get some tickets to a Bulls game when Jordan was playing and he would put them underneath the dinner plate. And I just remember thinking it was just a fun way to surprise the family. And so I just I watched him and kind of observe the way that he pastored and parented and and picked up a lot of things from him. And then, you know, he worked awfully, awfully hard. And so I probably made a few decisions even in my own life, that I'm going to put some boundaries in place because because back in the day, I think sometimes people in ministry had a harder time prioritizing family. And I'm not this is an indictment against anybody. But I believe that my primary ministry is to my family. And so I want to make sure like it's my responsibility to discipline my kids. And so I just started putting some boundaries in place to to protect family and protect that as a priority. Jeff Zaugg [00:05:27] Yeah. Yep. It's massive. And you mentioned in reflecting, it wasn't one huge thing that he did with little things. And I love this. This is again from your book Win the Day. You talked about little by little, you pulled the story from Exodus is about this idea that that God delivers us little by little. He promotes us little by little. He grows us little by little. We should stop looking for this radical change and expect a little by little approach. In fact, you also you talked about this idea that you actually you don't arrive in so many areas of life. We don't arrive, which is continuing to progress little by little. I love you to expound on that a little bit for us. Yes. Mark Batterson [00:06:04] Let's have a little bit of fun since since both of us are training for a bike century, which I'm sure we'll talk a little bit about. But, you know, I love pushing my physical limits. And part of that, I played basketball in college. And, you know, once an athlete, always an athlete, I think. And in fact, I would even say the older you get, the better you were. Yeah. So a few years ago to celebrate a miracle that God did in my lungs. I had asthma for 40 years and God healed me, I decided to run the Chicago Marathon. Well, you can't just go out and run twenty six point two miles. I'm not a distance runner, so I did seventy two runs, four hundred and seventy five miles over six months. It's the only way. You've got to make daily progress in the direction of the goal. And so I did run the Chicago Marathon and I remember getting a t shirt. It was in the Nike store, kind of that pre race. They set it up and sell their gear. And I bought it because I love what it said. It said there is no finish line and I love that idea that you never arrive. You never get there. Whether you're a leader, a parent, an athlete, whatever it is, you never arrive. And I think that's motivating to me that, like, I can keep getting better as a leader, as a dad, as a person. Yeah. Jeff Zaugg [00:07:39] And there is that you never arrive that could actually stretch just to go the wrong directions. The classic success with the ladder leaning against the wrong the wrong building. Right. Yes. Or through you unpacked a little bit in your book Parkinson's Law that it will take as much time as you give it. Yeah. So I think we can take this the wrong direction for not careful, but the idea of dads in their calendar. We have one hundred and sixty eight hours, and here we are, Father's Day weekend, thinking of the year ahead, how am I a dad who who puts the priority in the right place and actually says, I'm only going to give this part of my life this much time and I'm going to make sure that this part of this very important has this significant part of my time and my attention. When you talk about Parkinson's law and how we can apply that to being more intentional with our calendar. Mark Batterson [00:08:21] Well, in Parkinson's law, basically, if you have two weeks to do it, it will take two weeks. If you have two months, it'll take two months. So I think two thoughts. One is this idea of boundaries that I put a boundary in place that I will do more than seven overnight speaking trips a year because I know myself and I don't see many opportunities that don't look appealing to me if I don't make that pre decision and put that boundary in place. I know that something else is going to give saying yes to one thing and saying no to something else. Now I want to be careful here. So I am really challenging dads to establish boundaries. But I do want to recognize that life doesn't come in nice, neat boxes where every day or every week looks like every other day or every other week. I don't. It's really hard to challenge work and home or vocation and family. I would argue that you're never 100 percent balanced. You're always counterbalancing, Jeff, that you have to realize that man, that was a tough week. I had a project. I had a deadline. I maybe was at the office a little bit too much or maybe even never came home. I came home physically, but I didn't come home mentally. Well, then what you have to do is find a way to counterbalance that. And maybe that's, you know, a surprise date with your wife. Or maybe it's a little extra time with the kids. Hey, let's go grab some ice cream. But whatever it is, it's that self-awareness of am I am I balancing, counterbalancing these things in my life? Jeff Zaugg [00:10:12] I'd love to zoom out to life goals. Yeah. Because it's something that not a lot of people talk about and not a lot of people make them public. Yeah. And and you have and I of course I've underlined a few, but we don't have to go here. We can go in any direction. Why set life goals. Why, why actually pick the thing far off and especially to write a whole book on winning the day. Why would you take time to come up with one hundred life goals? Mark Batterson [00:10:39] Yeah, well, you won't accomplish one hundred percent of the goals that you don't set. And so faith is being sure of what we hope for, Hebrews 11. And I just think that goal setting can be an expression of faith. If you do it the right way, I think you got to pray about it. It's not setting selfish goals. In fact, two turning points in my goal setting. One was changing from getting goals to giving goals on the financial front. That's the goal, is to eventually live ninety ten to live off and ten percent give ninety percent and then adding a relational component. So instead of just doing a triathlon, do it with my son or do this the escape from Alcatraz with my daughter, you add a relational component to that goal and it's twice as fun, twice as meaningful. So Jeff, when I made that list public in The Circle Maker, it was scary because I knew that those motivations could be misinterpreted. But the irony is, I feel like Win the Day, one thing I learned is you can't just set the goal, like you got to reverse engineer it and figure out what are the daily habits that are going to get you to those goals. And that's where the magic happens. That's where the hard work habits. And that really is the key to going after those goals. Jeff Zaugg [00:12:13] That makes you think about we talked about this eight months ago when I interviewed you about walking your daughter down the aisle. Like just for me, that's I'm praying for my four girls, for their husbands. I'm praying in fact, maybe someone listening today is going to be is the dad of those little boys. Yeah, perhaps. Yeah. Yeah. But the reverse engineering that moment or the drop off from college. Mm. I think it's just so easy to if instead of just thoughts out there to put it down on paper. This is actually part one of my life goals in this moment and being just so thrilled about the the man that she's chose an award like this. I went up like a drive away from the university camp, like this is just stickball with you here. But I yeah, I do think that that concept of reverse engineering down to what do I need to do this year so we'll get what I need. This month yet, and then again, they step forward into accomplishing a higher percentage if we don't set goals at all, said it adds up. Mark Batterson [00:13:06] Yeah, you know what's funny? As you're saying that I'm having flashbacks to a few of the dates that I took my daughter on. Yeah. You know, and I remember thinking to myself, you know, I'm not just praying for her future husband, but I want her to learn how to go out on a date with her dad, have a conversation. And over time, like you just you begin to lay the foundation for your kids to make some of those decisions themselves. And, you know, and you'll watch them make some bad decisions. I don't know any parent that hasn't had a kid and hasn't made some decisions that probably you wish you can get back. Right. But I think half of it and this is the tip of the cap to my dad. If I if I had to describe my dad in a nutshell, he was just there for me. I remember one time I went to the University of Chicago, we were playing a game at Brandeis in Boston. My dad and mom drove all the way to Boston. I only played like 10 minutes in the second half. I was a little ticked off, if I'm being honest. And my parents drove like 30 hours to watch me play 10 minutes in the second half. So as a parent, think about what is it that your kids are going to remember? And I think one of those things is, man, my dad was there for me, wasn't perfect, but he was there for me, always had a listening ear, maybe even always answered that text message or phone call or whatever it is, you know, that you set that goal and that becomes your bull's eye. Yeah. Jeff Zaugg [00:14:53] Well, what are your goals? Goal number twenty one. I have a very vested interest in that goal and that goal is help one million dads disciple their sons. And the reason I have a vested interest I already brought up because I'm praying for four boys and praying that their dads disciple them. Yeah. So I'm thankful that goal is very much we're in sync around that goal and our prayer is that all of us again, this is a Father's Day episode that we're just we take a step, we take a step today. We take a step this year towards being a dad who connects with the hearts of their kids. Now, last time I interviewed you, we went deep into your book, Play The Man, and in such a, I mean, helpful resource to play out, what can we do to play the man before we raise or what's the second half to be... Mark Batterson [00:15:36] well you know what I can't even remember the exact term, but but the first half is those seven, those seven kind of character traits of being the man, playing the man. And then we flip the script and in the second half I just share I unpack how I discipled my my sons. And so it's almost like a playbook, kind of in the second half. we'll Jeff Zaugg [00:15:59] link back to it. It's funny though. It's not in my notes because we had the last conversation and it's not like you've written twenty five books. You forgot that specifically verbatim. Mark Batterson [00:16:08] It's unbelievable. Jeff Zaugg [00:16:09] Yeah. Well I wanted to let you just got to speak to again all the dads listening to encourage to challenge to give us a charge this Father's Day weekend. How would you want to kind of end this time with to all of us to our hearts. Mark Batterson [00:16:21] Yeah, I would say that the deepest desire of my heart to be famous in my own home and it's hard to be famous in your own home and you're never home for starters. But but it's it's me being able to look in the mirror and knowing that my kids have free will, like they need to find faith with their fingerprint on it. Like, I, I can't control a whole lot, but I want to be able to look in the mirror and know that I loved them. I gave them the best I've got, that this dysfunctional dad is not perfect, gave them the best that he had. And I would say one last thing. That prayer does turn parents into prophets and you can shape the destiny of your kids with your prayer life. And they're going to be moments in your life where that's all you've got. It's the only card you can play. You keep playing that card and sometimes it'll feel like a boomerang prayer. It'll be a prayer that the answer feels like it's getting further and further and further away. But you know what? I've seen many of those prayers come back around many years later and watch God answer them in some strange and mysterious ways. So, listen, keep the faith, keep praying, keep being a dad, do the best you can, and then realize that there's a heavenly father who who he compensates for our shortcomings as earthly father. Jeff, that just. That takes the pressure off of me. There is a heavenly father that I can lean on as well, and for that, as an earthly father, I am awfully grateful. Jeff Zaugg [00:18:09] My my life has been changed specifically by Draw the circle your 40 day. It's been changed. I've gone through three times. My friend Brian just finished. And about 40 days ago he had to brain surgery. He rode one hundred miles with his father to the fatherless last year. And it was in my ride team and our team has been praying for him. He and his wife are praying right now. They know I'm interviewing you right now, but Brian is choosing to pray. Circles around his friends and family are praying for healing as of right now. He said he's going to be one of the church stops cheering for us. Yes. Take a picture with you when you come. All the troops. But she wanted to pass along gratitude for you in that book and how it has in the last it's been about 40 days since he was diagnosed. And it was actually he hiked the Grand Canyon, came home on Easter Sunday and then had to rush the hospital into brain surgery. Since I was hoping we could spend our time with you. Praying for Brian? Yes. And praying for every dad. Because I think that miracle that we're believing for for Brian is a miracle that we all have something that we're like, God, I want so badly to see freedom in that area or to see healing in that area. So if you could pray for him, that would probably be our ending to land in prayer. Mark Batterson [00:19:21] I love it. And Dad's wherever you are right now, whenever you are listening to this, would you join with us? Because all of us are, Bryan, every single one of us. And so, Lord, right now we do pray your healing power, your healing virtue. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are the one who knit us together in our mother's womb. And God, we we are not afraid to ask for miracles because that's how you reveal your power and your glory and your love. And Lord, just the fact that we are these walking, talking, breathing human bodies. I mean, there are miracles happening in us all the time anyways. But, Lord, in this moment, we do pray for a healing touch in Brian's mind, in his brain. God, we pray that you would glorify yourself. You paid the price on Calvary's cross. And so we look to you, the author and finisher of our faith. We fixed our eyes on Jesus and Lord, you have healed my lungs. I know you can do it. And so, God, we pray that you would do it again. Do it again in Jesus name. Amen. Jeff Zaugg [00:20:47] Thank you so much for joining us for episode one hundred and seventy nine with Mark Batterson said the action steps, the show notes the transcripts that all the links, especially to pick up his new book, Win the Day, which we're so strongly recommending. If you're on the Fathers for the fatherless bike team, you're going to get that book for free as a gift from Mark Batterson. But if you're not on the team bike 100 hundred miles, you got to pay for it. So we'll link that out in so highly recommend it as as you may have heard earlier by my daughter, Zara, who's two months old, is not napping. So she's in my arms helping me record here. So she's if you're watching on YouTube, you can you can meet my two month old daughter. But guys want to just remind you and encourage you the deadline for Minneapolis fathers to the fatherless. Is this coming? Is this coming Sunday? So Sunday, June 27th at midnight. Guys, thank you for joining us. So thankful that you're a dad who's saying I'm not done growing, I'm not done learning. I want to be mentored. I want to lean in to adding life to the dad life. And by listening today, hopefully that was part of that charge, that challenge, that decision. So for myself, Jeff Zaugg for my daughter Zara, have an amazing week. And we'll be back here next week for Episode one hundred and eighty. Let's go.