Episode 248 Transcript (Gabe Klass & Kevin Klaas)Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment, which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I'm give it my all.Jeff Zaugg: [00:00:39] Welcome back to dadAWESOME. Today, episode 248 is the second half of my conversation with Gabe Klaas, 17 year old and his dad, Kevin Klaas. I refer to Kevin as the legendary, the episode 11, the very first ever interview on dadAWESOME. He's back for his third round, but he's back with his son, bringing a teenage perspective to the dad life. So if you missed last week's episode, episode 247, pause here, pause here. It's not, it doesn't make sense to go into this half, go into the last half first, go back an episode 247 before you listen any further. But guys, this is a treat. So thankful for Gabe and Kevin and them bringing their entire hearts, bringing the vulnerable side. Guys, this is what's worked and this is what's been hard. So let's jump right in, this is the second half of my conversation with Gabe Klaas and Kevin Klaas. Man, there's just so many other questions I wanted to jump into. Screens, you've mentioned is one of the area with the most tensions or mistakes or real realizations afterwards. Is there any other in the teenage, so you're only, at 16, you're only three years into having teenagers. Any other just like, wow, it feels like this has been the hardest thing about this stage or the the biggest challenge or needed the most prayer for you and Jenny around just entering this chapter, even three and a half years later, for the last time I interviewed you for dadAWESOME, any any other things that like this would be a topic that's been hard? Kevin Klaas: [00:02:16] Trying to support our kids as they really grow into be, being an adult physically, can be challenging because the body, I've learned, chemically is firing all sorts of hormones and they're changing on the outside physically, and we all see that. But it it just it affects kind of who they are in the home, and rightly so. And so being compassionate and remembering that, you know all that's happening and just giving grace. Because it really doesn't matter if something isn't done right once or if somebody goes through a season, call it 180 days of not fulfilling a specific chore like they're supposed to because they're forgetful, and they're a male and their bodies growing, you know, at supersonic, supersonic speed. So I'm a, I have an administrative gifting and my tendency is, hey, you know, we've had this guideline in our home for two years. You've done it great. And now execution is failing. You know, let's the whole world's coming to an end and it shouldn't be. It just shouldn't be. So just giving grace in that season. Because what's really cool is it really a flower opening up and becoming an adult and that's, that's the coolest part of the whole process. So I'm not through it yet, as you know, Gabe will be 17 in two months now. But we're definitely, I'm definitely seeing how that process happened because Gabe's out of that season of change, a lot of the changes he's done, a lot of changing, now I feel like he's becoming a man. But I'm seeing it now with my younger son, Ellis, who's just 12, going to be 13 hitting the same thing.Jeff Zaugg: [00:03:42] Yeah. Well, speaking of the other younger kids, you being the oldest, Gabe, and as you watch your dad be dad to your younger siblings. Specifically, I'm thinking about not the bigs, but the littles. What do you just watch, and you're like, oh, he's a great dad. Like, is there is there's some aspects of like, oh, he is a great dad when you watch him not to, you know, you're thinking about you're just watching as a as another member of the family? And secondly, with this like you're like, I want to do that someday when I'm a dad. So any any just things like that? It could be one or it could be five things you share, it doesn't matter anything that pop out around that.Gabe Klaas: [00:04:22] So the first thing that comes to mind that I've not even noticed until probably the last six months, it's really kind of hit, especially because we've been busier now and I'm getting older, so I'm just more aware, right? Is it, he is very good at getting done with a long day of work, coming home and kind of like, I don't know if it's it's it's just naturally he gets a second wind. I would tend to think that he's probably learned how to, not necessarily force it, just put on dad mode, second wind, you know. And so he's gotten very good at and obviously no one's perfect, but most days he can come home from a long day of work, and, you know, if mom's had a long day realized very quickly and just kind of kick into dad, fun mode and grab, you know, baby, you know, give him 10 minutes, babies on his back, toddlers are in each hand and he's going out to the park. Right. Taking them down. And then, you know, you can have mom can have then half hour to kind of clean up what's been frustrating her all day and then, you know, another 15 to 20 minutes to lay down and that makes the whole difference for the whole evening you know. Because then when he and then he'll come home and he'll put a couple of them down and maybe she only had to put one down that time and it just totally changes the flow of the evening.Jeff Zaugg: [00:05:30] So stepping up in the area of energy, passion, service, engagement.Gabe Klaas: [00:05:36] Even when he maybe doesn't want to after a long day, you know, it's like, well, it's got to be done. Let's go to the park, kids. Let's have fun.Kevin Klaas: [00:05:41] Well, truth be told, a plug for why we're all sitting here in this boat behind microphones. I mean, a lot of my motivation last 3 to 5 years has come from dadAWESOME, the podcast. The interviews you done, Jeff, on the podcast, I found myself thinking, you know, what would a dadAWESOME do in this moment? When he's he's feeling tired, he's coming home, his wife, his wife's dragging, you know, how can we make this a fun moment instead of just getting angry with people, you know?Gabe Klaas: [00:06:07] True. Or you'll be like, oh, I wish Jeff was here. He'd love this. Or What would Jeff do? Or, You know?Kevin Klaas: [00:06:12] We would never have had a 50 foot long rope swing in our back yard in Roscoe, Illinois, if it wasn't for the host behind the mic here.Gabe Klaas: [00:06:20] Absolutely not. That was awesome.Jeff Zaugg: [00:06:22] Not often, if you create a rope swing, will kids dislike that moment. It's pretty much a guarantee, a rope swing will lead to passion, it could lead to fighting, as well. But at least passion's going to be up, if you had a rope swing. Hopefully not hospital trips up. The goal is more passion. But yes, that was a fun moment and it was one of two or three rope swing moments we've had together in the last handful of years. So yeah, good fun. Gabe, when you take the second half of my question forward to being a dad someday, I guarantee you I did not think about being a dad when I was 16, I was not. I was thinking about finishing high school, college, job, marriage, sex. I was definitely thinking about all those things. But I wasn't thinking about Dad life.Gabe Klaas: [00:07:04] Okay.Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:04] Have you ever thought about being a dad?Gabe Klaas: [00:07:07] Oh, yeah. Well, I think I think I have a little bit of a unique perspective because I have so many younger siblings. You know, if I only had two younger siblings, it'd be like friends. But it kind of I'm definitely nothing like Dad. But there are times when mom and dad leave and I'm over them for a period of time, right. And so I think I might think of that more than other people.Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:26] So do you know how to change a diaper. Is this true?Gabe Klaas: [00:07:27] Oh yeah. Oh yeah.Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:28] I never changed a diaper. Gabe Klaas: [00:07:29] Probably a hundred. A couple hundred.Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:31] I was 25 co-babysitter with my wife, the first diaper change, we got the diaper on backwards, a five year old.Gabe Klaas: [00:07:37] I changed on a diaper just before we came out here.Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:40] I know the advantage.. Oh, that's good, that's good. What what do you think about forward to being a dad? Is there something that like, oh, you're like, oh, this makes me excited to someday be a dad or or this second part of that is like, I want to do this as a dad someday? Besides going into dad mode with energy and passion, anything else that you're like, Oh, this makes me excited, or I want to be this when I'm when I'm a dad someday?Gabe Klaas: [00:08:03] It's probably for me, what's what's cool and rewarding is, well, one, they're just like like there's an element, I shared a bedroom for most of my life, I have shared my stuff, right. There's an element to being in a family and being a father that you have to give up. But like at the end of the day, it's your troop, you know, it's your clan. You can't give them up, you know. And so I think that just having a glimpse of, you know, seeing it with my siblings makes me excited to one day, you know, Dad will be walking through the park and he's got a whole he's got a whole crowd behind, you know what I mean? Like, we get used to it, but, you know, heads turning and, you know, you got your troop. We go on a vacation, it's never dull. You know, you got you don't feel like you're in a place where you don't know anyone. You're surrounded by your clan. So I guess it just makes me excited to do that one day. And then also, what's been cool to see what you do with dadAWESOME. There's just not a ton of really intentional Christian dads. And so when you see one, it opens up influence. Like Dad's been able to influence other people in their lives because of the way he fathers that, you know, I look forward to hopefully doing one day.Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:05] You will. I guarantee you will.Gabe Klaas: [00:09:06] That's awesome.Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:08] Kevin, let's jump to you on this question. So imagine Gabe forward, being a dad, you get to be a grandpa. We'll make up a fun name for you at some point, right? What do you hope he'll remember or prioritize as a young dad? What are some of the things you're like, oh, I just hope this about him in that season?Kevin Klaas: [00:09:29] Yeah. You know, my prayer for him, and all my kids, is that they'll be present. So I hope that, they'll be walking with Jesus number one and that they'll they'll walk with him in a way where they're not being run by the world. They're being run by, by Jesus. And His plan for our life is not that we are striving and stressed all the time. So, you know, I want them to be around. I want them to be present. And I want them to be able to pass on the spiritual legacy that we've, we're trying to pass on to them, now to their kids. So that's our prayer that our kids and our grandkids and our great grandkids and for generations to come will walk with Jesus. I mean, that's the number one thing. But in order for that to happen, God has to move and then we have to be around, right, to disciple. It's interesting, though, David is, my middle names David, and my biblical hero is David. And David was not a very good dad. And I've been studying recently how it worked out for David because he was kind of an absent father and he had all these all these sons. But what's interesting is when God said to David because he walked with Jesus, he had a heart after God, that God was going to give him a son on the throne and that God was going to be a father to his son. Basically for him, he was going to father him. And I thought, That's amazing. So what David got right was following Jesus and God basically took care of the rest.Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:53] Took care of the the deficit.Kevin Klaas: [00:10:54] Yeah, I'm not, I'm not supporting an absent fatherhood in any regard. I'm just pointing out the fact that God's overtop of everything and we don't have to because the other side of, you know, being a great father is feeling the pressure of am I doing enough? You know, and, you know, a constant worry and stress and it shouldn't be that either. So I want to be around because I value relationship. I tell my kids that there's only one thing that I want from them in life or my my wife and I hope to have from them, and what is that Gabe?Gabe Klaas: [00:11:28] Relationship.Kevin Klaas: [00:11:29] Yeah, that's the only thing. That's what I hope for our future together.Gabe Klaas: [00:11:34] Which is really cool because that hasn't been modeled the best to him. There's a lot of areas where he hasn't had because we talked about how important, you know, the father model is and stuff. There've been a lot of areas where he hasn't had super great models and he's had to kind of read books or find someone else like, okay, I'm choosing not to follow that model. I see it better here, and that's one of those areas he's been really intentional in.Jeff Zaugg: [00:11:58] Just to add one more time in the same thing you just said, relationship. We prayed through our family values, our family mission. We had it drafted up, these are the nine things for our family, back seven, eight years ago. We just rookie parents and now just two weeks ago, sitting in this boat actually, we the second one is relationship. It's experience the love of God, love Jesus, and the second thing is relationship. And it's a relationship as a as a in a marriage, relationship to each individual daughter, a relationship between our daughters to each other. It's relationship, so it is the dial that gives access to all the other future hopes. It's relationship.Gabe Klaas: [00:12:40] Yep.Jeff Zaugg: [00:12:41] So that's probably why our families are such good friends. We got, we got stacked the same. Like, like it's the it is the central prayer.Gabe Klaas: [00:12:48] Yup. Yup. Jeff Zaugg: [00:12:50] Kevin, is there anything else as we've, as we've kind of jumped around to a few topics, anything else around fatherhood, around even you and Gabe, specifically relationship to your oldest son? You're like, Man, I want Gabe to know this , from a, it's from your heart, but also from a like as he thinks about the topic of someday having the gift of being a dad, is there anything else you'd want to say to him today?Kevin Klaas: [00:13:16] The only thing I'd say is, you know, I the older I get, the more I recognize my own ineptness and faults and shortcomings in various areas. And what I feel like covers all is, is God and Jesus. And so stay close with Him and He covers, He covers all the shortcomings. And, you know, I do that through sabbaticals is a big part of my walk with Jesus getting, monthly, alone time with Him. Extended time so I can hear from Him and get marching orders from my Father, my father, ultimate Father. So that I can just do what He wants me to do. And I figure that and what I see in God's word is if I can get that right, just that one simple thing, then He's opened up, He's made every, all these other million things in my life come together. And so it's really I think life's really simple, actually. How to live blessed and successful and be at peace, it's just, meet with the Father. Be with the father. Make, don't let anything come in the way of meeting with Him and hearing clearly from Him and, and everything else can fall in the line.Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:23] Keep, what has been your, your perception of these days away, your dad takes in a couple of days at the beginning of the year, day away. Your mom does sabbatical days as well, right? What's, as you've noticed, and maybe you noticed young, maybe it's just the last couple of years. What was your, what's been your thought around taking a whole day, a month, to go hear the voice of God?Gabe Klaas: [00:14:45] The way that I think I've noticed it is so like if I like didn't keep a calendar for a period, you just have all this stuff in the back of your mind you're trying to keep up with and stuff and it stresses you out, right? But if I, if I'm like, okay, woah, where's this stress coming from? Oh, I don't have anything scheduled out, I got it all in my mind. Okay, sit down, take my calendar, put it all in. Now I have the peace because it's like I know it's going to get done. It has to get it out. I just got to follow this and it'll be good. And I feel like that's kind of like the same way that it's affected Dad is there have been certain seasons where all of a sudden he's got all these things that he's either thinking about doing. You know, maybe some friends bring up some business ideas or this or that, especially before we're moving or whatever. And they're kind of all like in his head or in his heart and all these things and not necessarily that he's you can see that he's really stressed out. But when you he comes back, you really notice a difference, almost like he's been able to go through and go through his list, pray about it, check off. Okay, we are doing this. Nope, we're doing not doing that, clean out like all those files of ideas and then schedule them in and how he's going to do it in a way that he couldn't if he was at home with a, you know, toddler on his back and carrying people around and stuff. And so it totally changes the dynamic in the home when he comes back peaceful and like he has the Lord's leadership.Jeff Zaugg: [00:15:55] Wow. So there is an atmosphere change a little bit about the way he carries himself and that's cool that you've noticed.Gabe Klaas: [00:16:01] Yeah, well, he's he's just more fun, more upbeat. He's he's more likely to be like, hey, let's go get ice cream and stuff because he's not thinking about the next week up ahead of work as much you know.Jeff Zaugg: [00:16:09] Yeah. In the same like consistent each month. Like we can we can affect the atmosphere, not through anything we bring, but through open, being open to God changing the way we carry and the weight that we carry and the wisdom that we carry.Kevin Klaas: [00:16:24] For sure. Well, I'm big on that, you know, as as sheep were, they're not meant we're not meant to carry things and I just organically carry things. Things come up in business and in our family and personal life where I find myself carrying things. And like Gabe said that one day a month, it's for whatever reason, extended time, that's where I'm able to really set things down. The Scripture talks about the peace of God guarding our mind and our hearts, and I feel like that's the way I feel every day I come off sabbatical, is I've met with the Father. He's he's restored my peace in my mind, in my heart about everything I'm worried about. And I try not to worry. It's Philippians tells us not to, but I just still inevitably get caught up in different things in my mind, in my heart, worrying about them. But when I meet with Jesus, have extended time, I'm able to lay them down most of the time. So that's the biggest benefit I feel like from from that extended meeting.Gabe Klaas: [00:17:15] Well and wouldn't you say that like and maybe it's different now because you've experienced so much, but a lot of times going into it you're not thinking, Oh, these are all the weights I'm carrying that I'm getting rid of. It probably is mostly just stuff that stacks up over time that you're not even conscious of. But when you take a day and are crazy intentional, you're like, Oh, this, that. And by the time you come home, wouldn't you say that's usually, or a lot of times that can be how it is? By the time you come home, you're like, Whoa, I didn't even realize I had all that stuff I needed to process through or whatever, pray about.Kevin Klaas: [00:17:42] Yeah. It's true. Gabe Klaas: [00:17:42] And hey'll come, he'll come home and sometimes we'll even have dinner. And just in the middle of dinner, like, it was like, Oh, this is really good food, you know, this is really good. He's just really upbeat when he gets home from it. He really is.Kevin Klaas: [00:17:54] Well, you can see, you can see, the I mean, this this sounds almost hokey pokey for somebody that hasn't done this, they're going to be like, this guy's an idiot, but it's almost like you can see the color of life again, you know, like when people are so weighted down, so worried, you can't even enjoy moment by moment. You can't enjoy the food you eat, you can't enjoy the clothes you're wearing, can't enjoy the sun that's above us right now. But you take all this weights off, you take off the lenses and all sudden you can see life in 3D, HD rather. So anyway, that's I mean, there's a lot of other benefits from staying close to our Creator, but that's certainly one of them.Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:25] So 10 minutes before I got together with you guys for this conversation, a friend prayed over me and he said specifically, he's like, I pray that you would savor the areas that I was prayed about, was was this after a few meetings, a few decisions, and he's like, savor..Gabe Klaas: [00:18:40] Yeah.Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:40] May this be a savoring versus a striving. And I feel that like coming off of I and I often call it my prayer and planning day. Not my sabbatical, but it's the same exact thing. I want to pray through the last 30. I want to plan for the next 30, prayerfully. I want to hear the voice of my Father so I can go be a father to my four girls like so. But Savor, has helped me savor, like exactly what you're saying of adding color, adding texture, adding tastes. Like, what if our five senses are only engaged to 20%? And the gift that our Heavenly Father wants to give is, is is to amp those up so we can savor the gift. And that's as one of my biggest prayers, is that dads would see the role of being dad is the this treasured gift. Just like all my like if somebody wrote me a check for $1,000,000 today, I would treasure and thank them and never forget, right? I just talked to my daughter about this, my my three year old, I talked about, like, her value. And I went through all the objects she's ever seen. Houses, like I just went through, I was like, Who's more valuable this or you? Just remember, all the money I'll ever have my bank account or you? Whose more? And it's so clear, that in a second I would give $1,000,000 for my daughter. Like, yet the million dollar gift, I can tangibly say that I would like, feel and be blown away more than the gift of my daughter. Sometimes some days I live that way. Isn't that silly? So silly. So the dad life is a gift and sabbatical day is prayer planning day is hearing the voice of God helps us enjoy the gift. So, Gabe, I want you to hear this.. Gabe Klaas: [00:20:19] Okay.Jeff Zaugg: [00:20:19] The wisdom that you carry, when I'm with you, when I feel, is like I just turned 40, like, I don't at all feel like there's three of us in this boat right now having this conversation, and and one is a teenager and the other two guys are in their forties. I don't feel that whatsoever. And I do not believe it's because you've had the perfect experiences that have caused you to carry wisdom like you carry. I believe it's wisdom from heaven. And I just believe that God has given you perspective and insight, that is, is not going to be wasted. I believe you're going to steward and use that for just incredible, incredible things. So I'm s thankful for you. I am right. So I want to end our time, though, asking you to look at your dad, look at me, and from your perspective, from 16 years, almost, 17 years of life. Is there any advice you would give us to be dadAWESOME for our families? So anything you just see and be like, Oh, put a little more emphasis here, or try this or like from where I sit, if you did this, you would be an awesome dad for your family and you would bring more of the kingdom of heaven into your family?Kevin Klaas: [00:21:24] Jeff turned the table on us now.Gabe Klaas: [00:21:30] I would say, the hard part here is, I think that there's two things that come to mind. But both of you guys, I from what I see, are in a season where you're, I think, doing it really well. But, okay, so I think about this a lot. I think about like if we're in life, right? I envision, like, life as this big field say, you know, and we're all over in different areas of the field. Right. And say, Jesus is in the center, we're all trying to get in, but we're blindfold, right? Well, if someone's on the right side of the field, they get to Jesus and they tell everyone to go left. Hey, I went left, and he was there, everyone go left. Well, the people on the other side of Jesus are going away from Him, right? And so I feel like that's how like a lot of self-help books are, is someone sharing their story, right? Which can be good for people on that side of the field, but maybe some people have to go the other way. And so it's been really awesome seeing my parents, um, the more that they listen to the Lord being able to trust the Lord over other people's advice in their life because, you know, it's, it's one thing to maybe read a self-help book and it might be wise for some people, but I've seen them make a couple of decisions recently that were against the wisdom in their life from even family members or close people. And it's been so clear that it was the Lord, right? So clear. And it wasn't even that the people that gave the advice were dumb. It was just that, you know, it wasn't with the Lord's advice and maybe it would have been right for them to follow that advice, but they would have been going away from the Lord's plan for their life. So I would say, one, the biggest thing is, no one knows what you need to do as much as the Lord does. And if you can't hear from the Lord, you're not going to go where you need to go. You know what I'm saying?Jeff Zaugg: [00:23:10] I know. Exactly. I love that imagery. And it ties to you saying something abnout us being sheep. [Gabe Klaas: [00:23:15] Mm hmm.Jeff Zaugg: [00:23:15] Like, I just visualize in that field, it's like we need the voice of Jesus, the voice of God to guide us to our individual journey to Him. I love that you emphasize that. Thank you.Gabe Klaas: [00:23:30] Yeah. Yeah. And then the other thing I would say, and my dad's learned this very well, at this point, he said it earlier was, don't let any rules or any impressing other people, your parenting skills get over your relationship with your kids. Because that was something that when I was younger, it kind of threw me off for a little while is for me, I just didn't understand the why behind some of the rules. So it really got in between my relationship with my parents. There was a season where I really didn't trust them and not because I thought they were bad people. I just didn't believe that they knew what was right for me because they would just tell me, Here's the new rule and not the why. But then now they've been able to see some stuff and we've had some conversation about this lately. They're like, Okay, you know, now we're going to sit down, we're having a conversation. I'm going to lead the house the way the Lord wants me to, but we're going to make sure you know why we're doing it and how and we can have a conversation about it and being able to see some of my younger siblings at the same, you know, especially with the vices and stuff in the same crossroads, having those conversations see my parents putting relationship first, that's been really awesome, for sure.Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:31] Gabe, Kevin grateful for you guys.Gabe Klaas: [00:24:34] Thanks for having us on.Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:35] This is so fun and I'd love to invite you, Gabe, to pray, a closing prayer over all the dads listening.Gabe Klaas: [00:24:43] Okay.Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:43] And wherever God leads you for this prayer, we'd love for your pray over us.Gabe Klaas: [00:24:46] Okay. This might be the first and the last time I pray out a podcast on a boat on the lake. Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:54] Game on. How fun is this? How fun is this?Gabe Klaas: [00:24:56] Thank you for having me on, by the way. This is really fun. It's really fun. Dear Jesus, we thank you so much for the rain passing by being nice and sunny out. Thank you so much for allowing us to be in Minnesota and with Jeff. Thank you so much for just blessing him and leading him. Some of the decisions he's made take crazy amounts of faith. I mean, he's leading a family, you know, so to give up day jobs and give up, you know, to go in an RV for periods, you know, I'll just to to to to share the Lord's heart with these men. And then dad, you know, moving across, we moved to Texas. All these things that these men are doing to follow you, Lord, and all the listeners that are following you out of faith. Thank you for all of them. Thank you for allowing us to be here. But I pray that you will open up the hearts of listeners minds and just help them to have been touched by this and help it to hit home the way that you mean it to. And I just pray that you continue to bless this ministry, continue to help men to be led by the way you want, and continue to manage it exactly how you envision it, because your way is always the best way. In Jesus name. Amen.Kevin Klaas: [00:26:06] Amen.Jeff Zaugg: [00:26:11] Thank you so much for joining us for Episode 248 of dadAWESOME, the second half of my conversation with Gabe Klaas and his dad, Kevin Klaas. The show notes, the links, the notes from this conversation are going to be at dadAWESOME.org/248. Guys, I'm so thankful that you chose to listen. Let's go prayer, man, let's be prayerful. Let's not try to do this on our own. There's so many takeaways from this conversation, but I believe that if we go to prayer and say, God, what is the one thing, what is the one thing that I can bring to my kids this week from for my takeaway from this conversation, that's my prayer for you guys is prayerfully say, what's the one thing? Guys, thanks for being dadAWESOME go have an amazing week with your kids.