Episode 270 (Josh Taylor)Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment, which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I'm gonna give it my all.Jeff Zaugg: [00:00:38] Welcome back to dadAWESOME. My name is Jeff Zaugg and I am so glad that you're listening today. Today is episode 270 and before I introduce our guest, I want to remind you guys, Fathers for the Fatherless, we are heading into our fifth season of hosting these events where we rally men to do something very hard, usually it's biking 100 miles. We've introduced now the super Spartan team, you know, running six miles, doing 25 obstacles, which, by the way, keep an eye out for more information about some future Spartan events. But we also are introducing a triathlon team, and that's why I wanted to focus on the invitation today is if you live anywhere in the upper Midwest, and Minnesota's not too far to get to Father's Day weekend, so June 17th, Father's Day, Saturday, the day before Father's Day. We are I think we have 27 signed up right now, men coming out to do a sprint triathlon on Father's Day weekend for the fatherless. And we want to invite you guys. It's kind of last chance you're going to need to register within a week. It's going to it'll sell out here by the end of March, for sure. So so definitely, if you're interested, sign up now go to f4f.team, f number four letter f, dot team. It'll be linked in the show notes to join our triathlon, Fathers for the Fatherless team. Guys, today though, Josh Taylor is joining me. He I was introduced to Josh through our friends at radical mentoring. Kevin introduced us and, man, I'm so thankful that I had this opportunity to hear wave after wave of miracles from Josh. But also a desperation, you know, it's interesting, sometimes some people come and I hear their story and I'm like, Thank goodness, thank God, I can't believe you made it through as a young dad, but man, I'm so thankful and and you're kind of past the storm. Some guys are still in the middle of this story of trusting God and that's this story today. It's a little longer conversation because it's just so important for you guys to hear the whole story. So it's about a 45 minute conversation today. Josh Taylor, his wife, have been married to the month the same time as Michelle and I, so 17 years this July, I believe he said. And then they have four daughters. So a special spot in my heart for dads with four daughters. And some of you have heard through the book Aly's Fight, through they were featured on the Today Show. They had a whole TV series called Rattled that they were featured in as a family who continue to seek God and trust God. When man, this this journey of of Aly's health and the miracle story with cancer and the miracle story of of having children. I mean, this is guys, this is a story that we can all take principles away from as far as resilience, as far as trusting God, leaning into intentional fatherhood when the storm feels like it's just like, I can't handle this, it's way more than I can handle. And I think you guys are going to be blessed and encouraged and challenged by Josh's story. So here's episode 270, my Conversation with Josh Taylor. Can you help introduce your family? Just kind of a flyover, first a flyover, then we'll go back to the miracles of of, so how old are your kids and how long have you and Aly been married?Josh Taylor: [00:03:54] Aly and I have been married for 16 years, which is crazy, like 16, 17 years in July. And we have four little girls. I'm 38, Aly's 35. We have a seven year old, two sixes and a one year old.Jeff Zaugg: [00:04:12] 7, two 6's and a one. And when you first told me the age of your kids, I was like, Oh, you must have twins. And then I got to learn about the miracle and how God brought you your kids. So let's let's go into your story first, then there's so many other things I'm excited to talk to you about from your story. But about 11 and a half years ago, you guys had been married, what four or five years? I believe at that point. Five years. You're young, married, excited to start a family.Josh Taylor: [00:04:40] Martial bliss. It was perfect. No fighting, no nothing. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.Jeff Zaugg: [00:04:45] And then what was the, yeah, what was the news? And Yeah, how how did you guys your lives change? Josh Taylor: [00:04:52] That summer, we were on a beach trip, and I remember Aly and I both looked at each other like, I think we're ready, we're going, we want to have kids now and so we started. We were already doing our part where we were wanting kids and so come that October, I didn't know this, but, you know, when women start to, they look up every way you can possibly do to find out if you're pregnant. And one of those, Aly, one of those ways is like soreness in your breast. And so Aly was feeling one day and felt a lump in her breast. And so we went from planning how we were going to tell our parents we were pregnant to calling and telling them that Aly was diagnosed with breast cancer at 24. So needless to say, for our little world, it it really stopped in that moment.Jeff Zaugg: [00:05:37] So you find out the unimaginable as young, married, hopeful for kids. And that starts a journey.Josh Taylor: [00:05:46] I was 27 at that point and Aly was 24. We do look back and tell people we were so naïve at that point, that where there was a piece of guard, we were we were guarded there. Some about what we didn't know. We didn't know what all was coming. Today at 38 or 40, when I hear somebody diagnosed breast cancer or whatever, I know the weight they're about to feel. And so I would tell you, like we kind of it was it was brutal, it was rough. I mean, as a man, one of the first things and I was only 27, but it was just the truth, I didn't know. So we found out Aly was diagnosed on October 17th, it was a Monday. I mean this, I didn't know if the next day when she woke up, she would look different. And I think what you look back on is, is I think people think you had some trick as to how you lead in that kind of turmoil. And the reality is, like when I look back, you don't there's no trick, you just walk. You just you know, I just knew what I knew at 27, and that was you just fight. You don't quit. You just keep fighting. And so I think what I would tell you is, without going into all the nitty gritty, is that's kind of the prevailing story, is we just had some, I don't even like to call it blind faith that God was good and is good, but we just believed. Like, you know, even even when we had no picture, like we have no clue what's coming. We have no clue what it's going to look like because again, at 27 and 24, you know nothing about medical, I mean, we knew nothing. None of our friends had been diagnosed. And so very quickly, we end up in M.D. Anderson. Aly had a very aggressive form of breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nodes. So the quick version is I was an entrepreneur, I was in real estate. We build houses and then also build investment properties for ourselves. And so I was, it's not that we ever had a lot of money, but I didn't have any kids and I had no debt other than a house. And so I was able to kind of stop life. And we just I went with Aly to everything and she had 16 rounds of chemo. Obviously, she lost her hair and all the other thing, your fingernails and some other side effects. And then she had a bilateral radical mastectomy, just to make sure nothing else is there. And then she ended up having, let's see, four more surgeries after that to kind of fix it all and things they do to make it all work. That's the best way I can say that without going into the date and time detail. It is what it is. But obviously she is the toughest person. What women can do in those moments is truly incredible. That's all I'll tell you. I think if put to it, Jeff, you and I, if we had no choice, we would fight and claw and we would do the same thing. But women, in particular, have a way of doing it in a way that is is pretty mind blowing. So that was that was about it, I'm doing the fast version of it. In essence, two years is 16 rounds of chemo, double mastectomy, we moved to Houston and did radiation for two months. Yeah, so that whole process, in essence, is a year and a half to two years.Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:10] And you put on hold, for sure, now you're focused on her and her life, your wife's life, not the hopeful life of a baby. Like, so that's on hold. But then she recovers, you know, is protected, recovers, and you start to think, kids again. Can you take us into that chapter? Josh Taylor: [00:09:34] So, very quickly, we were counting down the days. They give us these days and say like, hey, you went from diagnosis and then cancer free, you can start trying to have kids again. Well, Aly knew that day we counted down those days. And so we started trying to have kids, obviously, with chemo, they warned us that we would not be able to have kids. Early on in the deal, and I'll get back to that, within the first two days of being M.D. Anderson, they initially wanted to preserve Aly's fertility. Within like an hour of wanting to do that, a test came back that said that was it was too aggressive, we didn't have time to wait. So, I've told this 100 times and still like this, there's just parts, where you come back face to face with moments where you did, all you could do is just trust God. You know, I remember that as a 27 year old, we were sitting in the hospital room and the doctor says, Dr. Morrow said, Aly, if you were my daughter, I would start tomorrow. And we asked him to leave and we prayed and I'm sitting, I'm standing in this hospital room in M.D. Anderson with Aly, and she had no shirt on, so it's certainly very raw. And, you know, I just look at her and say, like Aly, if you're not here, kids don't matter. So, you know, it sounds brutal in that moment, but in reality, what Aly's saying is, should we preserve my fertility? And that was one of those moments, God and the Holy Spirit is very kind to a 27 year old man, who's trying to lead way beyond what I have the capacity at 27 to lead and, you know, speak life to our wives and give them hope. And when when in our insides are like a blender. And you know I did, that's what I said to Aly, I said, Aly, baby, if you're not here, this is irrelevant. And so, so then fast forward, we tried to have kids. We did everything you can do to attempt to have kids and it didn't, nothing happened. So we ended up applying for an adoption out of 22 people. The birth mother picked us and so we moved, we moved states and we got to be in the room with our first daughter and first breath where that's the incredible part. We have to tell her your mom was the first to hold you, first to feed you. We have literally known you since your first breath.Jeff Zaugg: [00:11:58] Seven years ago. Right? She's seven now.Josh Taylor: [00:12:03] Yep. And so and we we look, we do look back, Jeff, like we were babies, we were. You I'm 38, I was 31, Aly's 28, 29. And I still wonder, I'm like, Man, they trust these people with kids. Like, what are ya'll doing? And so, and I still think that at 38, at times I'm like, man, I don't I don't know if y'all are, I don't know if this is a good setup.Jeff Zaugg: [00:12:27] So you get to take your daughter home. And I mean, even the learning about adoption, we, our, my four girls, none of them are adopted, they're all biologically born. But the the beauty of adoption, what did you not know that you know today about adoption?Josh Taylor: [00:12:49] Yeah. I think if I, if I, because we were asked a fair amount and how it usually comes to us is a woman messages the Facebook page or Instagram and they're it's it's usually a woman attached to a woman. So it's either a mom, an aunt, a friend, and she says, hey, there's this, there's our friends or can't have babies, and the husband's worried about adoption. And so if I had one sentence, if I had a ten second elevator ride with a guy, what I would say is, most likely your fear or what you're wondering is, Can I love that baby like a biological child? And I can point blank, 100% tell you, most likely more than a biological child. Not literally more, but in it's different. I don't know what to explain of like our human ideas of love are so low, so low until they get put to the test in that moment. And I can tell you as a man that I picture like I mean, what I say is like when I see my daughters, I picture them as us. Like I don't, with Genevieve, Genevieve will most likely be taller than me by the time she's like ten, and I picture her when she's playing basketball, I was a point guard. Well I picture her, and I think I picture myself as her, yeah, she'll be she'll be dribbling. I'll be able to teach her how to guard the ball going left handed, even though your right hander and whatever. And in that, I'll get 5 minutes into that thought and and at some point it does register, and I'm like, God you are so good that, that, I, you're, the love you've planted in me for child for that child far surpasses anything I understood.Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:49] I love the way, many of our guys are going to be listening, not watching, the YouTube video, but your eyes, the way you just light up talking about adoption and the gift. Now, God wasn't done with your story, your first daughter, then the journey continues. And yeah, talk about your family growing from there.Josh Taylor: [00:15:13] So a year and a half later, Genevieve is 16, 18 months, and Aly comes up pregnant, which we we did not think obviously was an option and we weren't on any kind of help. We were just we were just doing our part and thinking it had no chance but doing our part. And Aly comes up pregnant in December, and then a month later we get a call from first from Genevieve's birth mother, from first birth mother saying that she was pregnant again and would we adopt? And we said, yes, obviously. And so that was January and then by February or April found out we would be moving states to make that happen. And just in a sidebar, I don't know if this I don't actually know if this is I think it's in the book, I don't know if it was on TLC, is that March or April, so Aly's we have a one year old, Ali's pregnant and we're moving states to also have Lydia. And I lose my job. Yeah, so I had real estate, but I was working somewhere and found out I would be losing a job. And so, you know, obviously, as a man, that is not an awesome moment.Jeff Zaugg: [00:16:30] As you add two more babies.Josh Taylor: [00:16:33] Yes. Yes, absolutely.Jeff Zaugg: [00:16:36] Take us into like what was what were you experiencing? What was your heart like in that moment?Josh Taylor: [00:16:42] Heavy. I think that it was a new version of heavy, obviously, with Aly's health, it was heavier than I had ever felt in my life. And then this, you know, is somewhere in that little gap was the first time I really felt the pressure of provider is what I would say. Up to that point, I'm not sure it had really hit me, the fears of not being able to provide. Yeah, I think that's what I would I think that's the best way I would say, it probably took me a week to wrestle what I was going to do and how we were going to do it. But yeah, that was, that was interesting.Jeff Zaugg: [00:17:22] At this point you are, if my math is right, you're maybe three, four years out of the medical journey or at least the all clear, you're adding daughter your second and third daughter born within how far apart where they born?Josh Taylor: [00:17:37] They were going to end up being, they were born within 11 days of each other.Jeff Zaugg: [00:17:41] Oh, my goodness. I mean, you got two newborns and a was your, was Genevieve, your oldest, three? Josh Taylor: [00:17:49] Yes, three at that point.Jeff Zaugg: [00:17:50] Okay. One or zero, zero, three, their age, and and your jobless.Josh Taylor: [00:17:59] And I think that's the that you always look back and ten years removed from anything it looks way more planned out than when you're in the middle of it. And the truth is whether or not I liked what happened to me, what happened to me forced me to be a man, to be more of a man, to do what God had me do. And that then sets me up for ten years down the road that I don't know about. And so, you know, and the truth is I don't like it, but it probably forced me to embrace real estate and construction, like at a place I needed to do it.Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:38] Wow, that's that's an interesting observation of like, there's moments and those moments are preparing you for sometimes a decade out. And how do we embrace the moment in the current, because we don't see what it's attached to. Right?Josh Taylor: [00:18:52] Yeah. Well, I think at that point, I know for me, sometime around three or four years ago, you know, just the picture of God is that big. He does know, His plan is that wild.Jeff Zaugg: [00:19:05] Yeah. Was was it before your fourth was born that you got into Radical Mentoring? When was that chapter?Josh Taylor: [00:19:15] I read about Radical Mentoring, I think I actually read about Radical Mentoring before Genevieve. So I mean, yeah, 5 to 7 years ago somewhere and I read about it and I did a group. And then the next year did another group and I, I'll tell you, Jeff, I would go to these and, Kevin Harris and Radical Mentoring they may laugh at this part of it, but when I would show up at these the mentor summit which I would tell any man to go to. I would show up at these mentor summits and they're all like 60 plus, they're all older. And I show up as a 30 year old or 32 whenever I was going, and they look at me like, Hey, are you here with like, Where's your dad? Like, I'm not here with my dad. I'm here to do this. And so it is, I mean, when I read about Radical Mentoring, it is the number one way, I've never read of any other way, for a system to allow a normal man to disciple if he cares about discipling. And so when I read about it, I was like, I needed it, I knew I needed it, going through Aly's treatment and then what we were going through. I had men do that to me in a less formal way, but they were I mean, they saved me. They, you know, mentoring and discipleship at its root, at least for me, is it's me saying you're about to go through what I've already been through and I am unwilling, it's not an option, for you to get hurt worse than me. if I have something that can stop you, I can't stop you from feeling the weight, the pressure, the heat. I can't do all that. I can tell you it's coming. And when you're in the middle of it, I can, I can let you know that that part's normal, you didn't fail and that's why you feel the pressure of being a dad or a provider. And that's what that's what real discipleship and mentoring is, is it's somebody out ahead of you saying, I'm not willing for you to fail. And I happen to be blessed enough to have some guys around me, like when Aly got diagnosed, they had a huge prayer meeting the day we left before we went to Houston. It's one of the main places I'll look and I can see that we were 27 and 24. None of our friends understood what we were about to go through, so they wouldn't have even known to have a prayer meeting for us, they didn't. They know cancer's bad, they know it's not good, but they, in that moment, what we now can see was all those 45, 50, 55, 60 year old's and in particular one couple that had just been through it twice, leukemia twice. They knew crystal clear what we were about to embark on and they were not willing to let us be on our own, which so when I read about Radical Mentoring, it it I mean, like it lit a it lit a fuse, there's nothing else like it.Jeff Zaugg: [00:22:16] Well, your your passion for that work and how it's affected your life and how you want to see other men experience mentoring through through Radical Mentoring, it's it's contagious. I spent time, four years ago, with Regi Campbell, the founder who's now in heaven and got to share that conversation and then shared again to kind of honor his life, when he passed away. So we shared that twice and I'll link to it in the show notes so guys can go hear him explain the context and how God kind of led him to to get this going. But I mean, it's all around the world now. There's groups all over the place. So we were recommending both of , Josh, you and I are saying learn more about Radical Mentoring, press in. Can you give us your kind of elevator pitch, on like, this is this is what it is? I feel like you already answered the why, why it's important, but what, what is it?Josh Taylor: [00:23:05] Growing up, a pastor's kid and in the middle of the Bible belt, good guys, good Christian guys. There's a difference between being around the church and discipling. They're not the same, they're not, that's not close. What Jesus did was he let people close, he got people, he called them, he got them close to Him and then he poured life into them in enormous, at enormous rates, and then he set them out. Well, Radical Mentoring provides a, not just it's not even like just an outline, it's a it's a system that a normal guy that works a 40, 50 hour a week job, goes in, he gets 4 to 6 guys, he logs onto the computer. Radical Mentoring has it set up where you pick topics if you want it on leading your family, character, spiritual gifts, theology. You click, okay, let's say I'm going to lead this group and I pick out, I want those seven topics. When I put that into their, that then spits out a book and Radical Mentoring is built on reading. And so you meet once a month an older man, any older man, and this is where this is where they all thought I was crazy. And I think at this point, maybe they think I'm less crazy, but I'm still very willing. What I heard in that was it didn't matter how old the mentor was, as long as the mentor was ahead of the mentees. So you can be a 30 year old, obviously, it's really aimed at 35 to 50 year old guys that honestly are at the middle of their life where they could implode their life if they're not careful. That's really the truth. And so you pair them with a 60, 70 year old guy, they meet once a month, you read a book, you do a net out, which is different than a book report that's reading a book and saying, when I read this about the book, it shows me this spot in my life where I'm doing blank with Aly and I've got to get better at it. So it's not just highlighting where everybody you get in a group and you say, Hey, man, we all like we all struggle with lust. Yeah, no, no, no kidding, buddy. But spiritual growth being, I want God to point out the dark spots in my heart, bring them to light and then they have no chance to survive there. And so, Radical Mentoring is a, you share your faith story one time, and then from then on, it's not an accountability group. It is about a group of 4 to 6 guys, probably reading more than they've ever read, memorizing more scripture than I've ever memorized, which obviously God's Word is very serious, hide my word in your heart. Like, that's a serious that's a serious deal. And so that's that's the how that's what Radical Mentoring is in a if I was stuck in an elevator with somebody, what I would describe to them is it gives a guy that cares about helping other men not fail as hard as he did. It gives him a way to pour into them over a 8 to 12 month period unlike anything I've ever seen because the cycling fails because it it just feels so long. And how do I do it? What do I, what topic do I if I'm going to disciple you? I love you. I care about you. How do I disciple you passed, Josh, I need help, I'm about to implode my marriage. Well, that's easy in month one, what do I in month two?Jeff Zaugg: [00:26:56] Takes it through. I thank you for your passion and just the it'll be all linked in the show notes for the guys to get in and get after learning more. I do want to move us back in to see this is happening, you're a part of wisdom is being passed into your life and you're also helping other people in this chapter of trusting God for this miracle story of him adding daughters to your life. Take us into the next chapter then, of of adding another little girl.Josh Taylor: [00:27:27] So when when Genevieve was five and a half, Vera and Lydia were four, we were about to build, we had just sold our house, we're about to build another one. And we're looking at these plans and I build houses for a living and we're looking at these plans. And we had just met with the Architect, I mean, 10 minutes ago and my wife, this video is up on social media, so you can go laugh at this later, my wife keeps wanting me to look at the plans on the calendar like we just met with the guy for an hour and she said, Josh, would you come look and and I'm like, baby we just Gary's going to have the new ones to us in 10 hours, let's just wait. So she keeps going, and finally, So you see me like I get up off the couch, I walk over and I'm trying not to, you know, like terrible face look at her, but I mean, it wasn't it was not a pretty face. And so she showed me all the rooms and she's like, here's Genevieve's, here's the office, here's this, here's this and there was this one room that she wasn't saying the name of it and I just didn't I wasn't thinking. And all of a sudden, she just keeps putting her finger down and I see it and she puts her finger down on this room and it says, Baby's room. And I was like, baby, and I mean, you see my face, it registers and I just thought, I just said, no. And she was pregnant again. And so a year and a half ago, we have a little girl, Estelle. Mom's perfectly healthy, we're, you know Estelle, Estelle is doing great. And so, life just went on.Jeff Zaugg: [00:28:58] So, in the medical system, the doctor said you chose the path that put Aly's life first and did that to preserve her body, to be ready to have babies. So these are documented of babies that should not have been possible. That's so beautiful.Josh Taylor: [00:29:19] Even to the point that they told us to stop some of the fertility help because she wasn't producing eggs. I mean, so so it wasn't it wasn't just us thinking we can't, it was medically like, like, Miss Taylor, you need to stop.Jeff Zaugg: [00:29:34] Yeah. So here you are with four little girls.Josh Taylor: [00:29:40] It's incredible.Jeff Zaugg: [00:29:41] Yeah. I mean, it's there's not that many of us out there. Dads with four girls.Josh Taylor: [00:29:45] You're exactly, that's what I've come to find out.Jeff Zaugg: [00:29:48] Yeah, it's I get a lot of public love, though. Basically, anywhere I go with the four girls, people just show such love to me. Like, like I'm a son, you know, a grandson. They're just like, you're amazing, I'm like, I'll just suck that all that in, I'll soak all that in being a girl times four.Josh Taylor: [00:30:06] It's incredible. It's incredible.Jeff Zaugg: [00:30:08] The the the television series that you guys were part of because of these miracles, these miracle births in your journey of overcoming and just being fighters, you've even mentioned that theme of like fight. And it's I mean, the book that we're going to make sure is linked out that you guys written, Aly's Fight, I mean you're fighter but I think the series was called Rattled. Is that is that right?Josh Taylor: [00:30:29] That's right. We, back to when we had blogged for like five years. And I really I told you this, we blogged because I did not think I could handle coming into town every week and answering how Aly was doing the first time around. So this is 2011, this is before all this social media, we had social media, but not at the levels it is. So we blog for five years, had written two books and so when we got ready to move north to get to have Vera and go be with Lydia, Aly's aunt actually emailed TLC and told them about us. And so I get a call from New York, I remember where we were standing and, you know, they were already doing the fake calls. And so I didn't want to answer. So I answered it. And the lady introduces herself. And I mean, Aly was sitting there, I said I said, you're kidding. I said, This is a joke. And she said, No, no, no, don't hang up, don't hang up. And I said, And so then she quickly tells me some things about us that she could have only known if she was legit. And so, yeah, they they asked us to be on a reality show called Rattled, which was going to be on TLC. And so we were we did not really, the truth is, Jeff, we did not jump because it just it's so unreal. Just being honest when somebody says, like, you're gonna be on TV, we just thought, frankly, we're not that we're not that engaged. Like, you're not going to like us that much and, but ends up we felt like it was in line with what God was already doing. And so even something that crazy, back to God's plan, if that had come five years ago and we had not done the other things, we would have said no to that because it didn't fit. It didn't like, No, this is crazy. The reality is, as silly as that sounds for what God had been doing, it fit. And that's that's even hilarious for me to say today. But it did and it was cool.Jeff Zaugg: [00:32:27] That framework, though, of paying attention to how God speaks to you guys, but also I think that that applies to all of us dads. Like, like is is the nudge, is the opportunity fit with God has already been doing. You're taking his faithfulness from the past and your story and you're saying it doesn't fit with this is who we are, this is what we've lived, so that's helpful. The two themes that I want to quickly have you maybe expound upon is is the theme of Rattled and how news can rattle and how and I don't know if that was the theme, why it was called Rattled but like that theme and then the theme of fight being a fighter, you've already mentioned a few times, but any anything else you'd want to share with dads around the theme of Rattled or the theme of Fight?Josh Taylor: [00:33:11] Yeah, I think Rattled, I think the biggest and it's what I try and do for us from myself today and any guys I'm around leading in immense turmoil, is it actually as silly as it sounds, makes everything very clear. You know, like in some of our darkest moments, I've had more clarity on what I was supposed to do because I didn't have a ton of options. So in those in the worst of moments, I simply had to beg God to help and just say, God, I'm not this big, I'm not smart enough, I'm not big. I need you so bad that when we felt those when I felt those moments, it actually gets very simple. And then, like you said, the fight piece, I've never said this in a book or anything because I'm afraid the guy might actually hear it and think it's bad to him, which it kind of is, but, it is what it is. When I was in ninth grade, we went to a new school and I played all the sports. I went through summer activities, summer football, two a days, I went through everything. And the week before the football team was going to lose in the playoffs, which I didn't know they were going to lose, I decided to quit so that I could play baseball. The coach pulls me out of the class and and I'll just say, leaves it with this, said that I was going to be a quitter for the rest of my life. And so I, so then you fast forward and nowhere else in my life have I quit, nowhere else. But what you start getting realizing is, in that moment, like when Aly's diagnosed at first and we named the blog Aly's Fight, that was just very simple. And then, like, I think the tagline of Aly's fight was, cancer, You messed with the wrong woman. I think that's the other thing, I think of the like in that moment, it was actually very simple. I just named the blog that. What I didn't know, and it's crazy to even think about. What I didn't know was how God would use something that simple. And then what all of that would become as a theme of like, no, we are fighters, We don't stop. And when it's hard, we're better. So even that, even as I say that, I'm not sure I've ever put those together that God would kind of, by naming a blog that, you know what all that become. And that's 11 years, that's so crazy. Goodness.Jeff Zaugg: [00:35:45] Well, part of my prayer and the reason this ministry dadAWESOME exists is to see dads be fighters versus dads who take flight. Fight or flight, what are we going to do? And flight, you can stay on the home front, you can stay married, you can stay present, live in the same house, and be a dad who took flight. Passive, who's numbing, who's caught up in addiction. Like, there's all kinds of ways to stay but not be a fighter. We just pray for dads who will be fighters in the best kind of way when we say fighters of resilience and perseverance and and go after the hearts of our kids and our wife and go into the valley with them. And I'm saying all that knowing that I've been so imperfect in this way, but I've chosen to be that dad who's going to just keep going after it, even though I mess it up all the time.Josh Taylor: [00:36:34] Oh, gosh, yeah.Josh Taylor: [00:36:36] Well, and you'll laugh at this this morning, Jeff, before, so I take my three girls to school this morning, three of the girls to school and one of the girls they have hat day at school and one Vera, who's actually incredible, she's our performer, she put her hat in her bag and didn't want to wear it. So she goes, get out of the van and I was I'll just say I was short with her. It was based in me wanting her to wear the hat and feel cute. But as a six year old, she felt embarrassed walking into school and I did not handle it good. I said, I said a little something I should not have said so before I came and did this, I went and checked my I went to I went to Vera's school, got her out of class and said, Baby, I'm so sorry. You know, Dad said something he shouldn't have said you. You know, my words were not great and we hugged and whatever. And I think what you what you hit on right there is so important as well is we feel so disqualified from leading because we're not perfect. And I think that's the that's the that's the crazy part is if men and I'm talking to Josh Taylor and and Jeff, if we can keep in front of us that I can lead while being flawed, me being flawed or you being flawed does not make me fake. I think what's keeping us at times is I equate my flawless morning to a guy living in open sin. That's not the same.Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:11] No, it's not.Josh Taylor: [00:38:13] But, you know, I'm saying, like, and if we're not careful, that's what you're talking about, is that men, we become passive and feel disqualified, and we have to numb based on things that actually are not disqualifiers at all.Jeff Zaugg: [00:38:26] That's right. And being a fighter, there are multiple rounds of fight. I've never I've never been into boxing. I took my brother out a couple of times with boxing gloves. The idea of like, Hey, get back in for the next round to your corner, Get back in there, get it back in the fight, Get back in the fight, Get stitched up a little bit, get back in the fight. You're trusting God, of like, rounds of like, oh, another round of trusting him, another round, lost my job, another round, another round of this fight. Just in the last few months has been another round of trusting God. And part of this podcast, part of the ministry dadAWESOME is I want to be a recruiter of people to pray and trust for miracles. You guys have an army behind you in this fight, that are already praying. But why not recruit the dadAWESOME army of dads praying for the Taylor family? So would you share about the current chapter of the fight and trusting God so we can all be praying with you?Josh Taylor: [00:39:23] Absolutely. October 17th of last year, so five months ago, was Aly's 11 year anniversary of initial diagnosis. That was also the day she went in to get a cyst removed that we thought was nothing. And and so then two days later, October 19th, found out Al was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. So we kind of, you know, that's another moment I would tell guys is, you're you're not prepared for the whole picture. Let me clear up. You're not prepared for the whole picture. If God dumped it all on you, you would stop. That day, I had enough, Aly had enough for that day, that day. You know, so Ali goes into surgery, doctor Who is our friend, comes out and she is like, she pulls me in this room, she's crying, and obviously I know something's not right. And so she tells me, and immediately the words on my mouth is, God, I'm not big enough for this, I'm not. I need you. I need you. I need you. I need you. I think that's one fallacy is like we think we're supposed to be big enough and you're not big enough like life, life can be bad enough that you're not big enough. Now, God gives us the strength to take the next step. But so then I know I've got to tell Aly, who's asleep, that she that what they have found. And so about an hour and a half, 2 hours later, I tell her, and I probably can't tell you the level of awful that is, you know, obviously then telling your kids, which my kids don't grasp it, but they still understand it. They've heard us talk about God healing and miracles and whatever. And so they understand, people have passed away since they've been alive of some version of cancer that we have prayed for. One in particular, like a lady named Miss Vanessa, that I've known my whole life. We prayed and prayed and prayed and she passed away. And so we've had hundreds of conversations with our girls about that. And so they don't get it, but they get it. And so that very quickly started a treatment and Aly's had four chemo's and then as of last, two Mondays ago, so yeah, 15 days ago, had a hysterectomy, which is actually in her setting is a cancer surgery where they remove all their reproductive organs, all of it, and they obviously go in and look around. There are probably quite a few guys on here that have some idea of ovarian cancer. That one is a little different than some other ones as they literally the way they look at it is they they look physically look. And they felt like they knew what they were looking for and when they went in it, we didn't get any surprises, which is incredible, which is a miracle, which is incredible. God, all Aly's markers have gone done, they've halved every treatment. We've seen God so clearly again. That doesn't make it all easy, but we're, so Aly's two weeks removed from that. They say it's about an 8 to 12 week recovery, so she can't pick up our little baby, can't pick up the girls. You know, so it's obviously some we're still in very interesting times. But, God, we believe Ali's healed and now we just have to go get it. We have to. I do believe that. I don't have to ask for it a ton. God, wants, I believe I'm going to in faith grab that. And, you know, a lot of times us as men, we don't want that kind of hurt. We don't want to say something's going to happen and then have to bear the weight of whatever. But the truth is, if you don't, if we don't lead ahead, which is what I, I just say to myself and other guys is if I don't if I don't set the bar for faith for my little girls and Ali, they can't pass it. They can't. And so you you just have to be willing to speak it and say it and fight and and just believe it. And. Yeah, that's I can, I can go on there.Jeff Zaugg: [00:43:41] You, you know, we had a phone call last week. I think it was last week, maybe two weeks ago, right after the surgery. And I said, well, let's just look way out, I'll put something my calendar six months from now and reach out with the text, let's wait. And you said, no, let's let's do this recording now. And I didn't even think about it in the moment. But now it's crystal clear that like me recruiting, you know, my family, the Zaugg family and and this community that's grown, over the last five years of dadAWESOME to pray with you guys to follow along and celebrate because you guys do such a great job of sharing on your Instagram and other platforms of like, look what God's done. And so we're with you, we're with you, thank you. In this chapter of You're the only one that can pick up you're you're for girls. You're you're in many aspects, you're really being asked like you have to you, you have to stay with faith, just like you said, you have to set the bar for your family. There are some dads listening right now that are in a in a valley, they just got news, they're in a valley. Is there anything else you haven't already shared? Because you've shared a lot that'll be helpful for those dads. But any you just kind of last parting words that you want to share with the dad who's in a valley carrying more than they feel like they're strong enough to carry? What would you share with them?Josh Taylor: [00:44:56] The thing I'd first say you're you're not you're we're not supposed to carry some of this. When God set all of this up, we should not be having the weight we have. This is because of the fall. This is we live in a broken, we live in a broken system. It was not his intent. So that's that's number one that you need God. I need God, that's number one. So the weight you feel is not a weight we were designed for and so that's the first thing I can tell you is I had to let myself off the hook, that that brokenness I felt, the fear, the like that. First off, it's normal in a bad situation. Those are normal things. And secondly, that's not how God designed it, this is part of the fall. And that's that's not fun, but that just is what it is. I think the next thing I would say and it's kind of a thing I harp on for me, first, and then for other guys is give somebody the keys. And when I say that, that is there needs to be somebody in your life that knows enough about you to let you off the hook, but also draw you up. And what I mean by that is if you have seven advisers and they all only know one area of your life, you have no advisers. Zero. They're useless. That's that's not an adviser. The reason a dad or a mentor is so powerful is because he has the picture of your life in eight areas and so when any one of those implodes, he's able to come in and say, hey, you're okay on the whole, this one little part's on fire. So I think what I would tell a guy in the valley is A it is okay that it's hard. And I can't, you can't take that, no mentor can take that off of you.Jeff Zaugg: [00:46:55] Thank you, Josh, for inviting us into your miracle story. And next time I'm through your area of the country, look out, the Zaugg R.V. is stopping. Let me say a short prayer for you and for Aly and your family. Heavenly Father, thank you for round after round after round of your miracle protection. God, you are, you are good, you are loving and you are actively at work in the Taylor family. We just pray and continue to pray with them that this miracle, healing the strength would return. That even the picture I saw of Aly holding all four girls, her strength, from a little while ago before the surgery, God, that that would return. And we get to celebrate with her as she walks in healing and walks in strength. So we pray your just your goodness would flood into their family in all aspects. We're so grateful for them. In Jesus name. Amen.Josh Taylor: [00:47:51] Amen.Jeff Zaugg: [00:47:54] Thank you so much for joining today, dadAWESOME, Episode 270. The conversation notes, the links to their social media posts, which their Instagram specifically is going to give updates on Aly's fight and on the trusting God in this chapter of raising four little girls and and trusting Him for complete healing over Aly. We're going to continue to pray for Aly and for their family, the Taylor family. Guys, thank you for being fighters. This is part of who we are at dadAWESOME. We are dads who fight and sometimes they use the framework of fight or flight. A dad who takes flight is a dad who is passive, who is numbing, who is saying, I'm just going to kind of like I'm going to kind of just peace out, I'm going to disconnect emotionally, I'm not going to press in after the heart of my family, after the heart of my wife. And guys, dads who fight are on their knees in prayer, dads who fight are pressing into the difficult conversations, the difficult moments, they are pressing in and saying, no, I'm going to seek God and I'm going to seek community and I'm going to seek the heart of my wife, the heart of my kids. So, so I just hope you're all encouraged to be dads who fight. That's who we are at dadAWESOME, we are fighters for what matters most in God's heart. Center of his heart is, is, is us as dads being fighters for our families. So thanks for listening. Thanks for being dadAWEOSME. Praying for you guys. Cheering for you guys. Have a great week.