297 | Cultivating a Prayer Life, Sharing Joy Bombs, and Delighting in What Your Kids Delight In (Alex Burton)
Episode Description
Alex Burton once asked his trusted friends a vulnerable question: “What do you see in my life that I’m not seeing?” Their honest responses shifted his outlook on his marriage and parenting. Now, he’s here to share the valuable lessons that helped him experience more joy and grow closer to God and his family.
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Alex Burton is an outdoors enthusiast and father of three. He and his wife, Mel, have been married for 26 years. Alex is part of the staff team at Wild At Heart.
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· God is always listening.
· Be generous with joy bombs.
· “What do you see in my life that I’m not seeing?”
· Delight in what your children delight in.
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·SAVE THE DATE: October 19, 2023 at 7pm CT - Episode 300 Live Event: 30 Voices, 90 Takeaways
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Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment, which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I'll gonna give it my all.
Alex Burton: [00:00:39] Oh, yeah, the light and what they delight in. And Zoe delights in Irish dance. And at the time, I was about to miss a big time and go, Nope, the dress is too expensive. We can't do that. And God, is like, no, delight in what she delights in.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:00:56] Welcome back to DadAwesome. Today is episode 297, and today I have Alex Burton joining me. I met Alex a year ago and we're going to tell the story about how we met in the conversation here, this special moment that he created for my oldest daughter and myself. But before I introduce Alex, I want to remind you guys, we're just a couple weeks off from the DadAwesome episode 300 party. So we are looking at Thursday, the 19th of October. Thursday, the 19th of October, 7 p.m. Central Time Zone. We're doing a live event, pulling together and sharing from 30 voices. So, so guys who have been on the podcast in the past, we've, we've gathered these three minute challenge messages where each of these 30 guests are giving us three challenges, three ideas, three practical, put this into action. So if you join us for this live event, you're going to get 90 takeaways. So join us at 7 p.m. Thursday, October 19th. Put that on your calendar. More information is coming, for that. There'll be some fun giveaways as well. But guys, I want to welcome you guys into today's conversation. So Alex Burton said yes to a crazy invite from a mutual friend and that, yes, turned into a very probably a lifelong memory that my oldest daughter and I got to share. So here's episode 297 with Alex Burton. My heart was to create experience for my nine year old daughter. And neither of us had ever been rock climbing, we were in the Colorado Springs area. So I knew I had to find someone who knew the technical side of rock climbing to help it be safe. And I started looking to pay for a outfitter. I started looking and I mentioned to our friend Greg, I said, Do you know anyone that might love climbing? And you not only said yes, but spent longer than I was hoping, like we spent a half a day together. And that that day marked my daughter and myself, because it our first time ever climbing and in what I experienced, what we experienced was instead of just let's go climb the mountain and then go home, we experienced a journey of feeling scared, feeling intimidated, feeling vulnerable, and you kind of gently helping it be a really special shared experience for my daughter and I. So let me start by saying thank you.
Alex Burton: [00:03:27] Yeah, you're welcome. Oh, such a delight to be with you and your daughter. And she's a delightful human being.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:03:36] I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan. And, but it funny, you really got to know her more than just a quick hello because of spending that time. And what was your impression on, as you reflect back or think about and maybe you do that all the time, you know, nine year old birthday expeditions, is that all? No.
Alex Burton [00:03:50] No, not all the time.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:03:52] Well, yeah. What was your impression of that that morning?
Alex Burton: [00:03:54] Yeah. So I remember Greg reaching out and going, hey. And he, he was being very kind of like, Hey, don't expect you to do this, but do you know anybody that could take them out and would guide them? And you know, they're, it's going to be special day, his daughter's birthday. And and and I, you know, here's kind of that moment of, oh, do I really, do I really want to give my time to some people I don't know?
Jeff Zaugg [00:04:23] Strangers.
Alex Burton: [00:04:24] Yeah. Strangers, like, would this be good? But I know enough to know, I mean, I've had a long history of my life in climbing and my life as a dad and adventures with my own kids and what God's done for me through the medium of climbing, and the people that have mentored me, have taken me under their wing of hav, so, you know, in some ways sacrificed their own adventures and joy to bring someone along that that's not where they're at in that, you know, pursuit. And as I'm really grateful for those folks and for those experiences that have shaped me and allowed me to shape my kids. And and so, you know, as I prayed about it, I just felt like God say, no, this is going to be really good. And and when you mentioned, or when Greg mentioned it's his daughter's birthday, my birthday's September 13th. So...
Jeff Zaugg: [00:05:28] Two days before.
Alex Burton: [00:05:28] You know, two days before. I'm like, oh, it's kind of fun. Like, you know, we're going to celebrate birthdays together and and get on some rock and so I was really joyful. I, I think for me, where where I really saw the benefit in my own life of being mentored and things was probably in my, would have been my middle school years. We were living in El Paso, Texas at the time. And for for a young, young kid in El Paso in those years, that was a rough place to live. My dad was in the military and and living in El Paso, lots of gangs and lots of, I don't know, it was a scary place, is the best way to put it. And and I had a teacher that found out that I had done a little bit of climbing and there's a phenomenal place called Hueco Tanks that all of the professionals would come winter there because they could climb in December and January and February. And this teacher would take me out with them to go climbing at Hueco, and we'd end up with these people that were heroes in the climbing world. And they would, they would be like, What's this 13 year old kid doing on the rock? And it just wasn't common for kids to climb back then, but they were stoked on it. And so they mentored me in it and, and those were formative experiences for me. So all that to say like that, the chance to bless you and your daughter and make her birthday special was was a great opportunity for me too. So I loved it.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:26] Well, we we went out for a little kind of coffee, hot cocoa, daddy daughter before we came up, we drove into the parking lot, found you sitting on the tailgate of your truck and just the walk into the these walls of rock. You know, my heart's beating a little bit fast, I'm a little bit like, you know, again, we'd never met before, and we're carrying some of the gear. You got helmets for us. We had our shoes, and I was afraid my shoes weren't going to fit because I had these huge size 15 feet, and I did have to kind of cry my way into getting those shoes on.
Alex Burton: [00:07:55] Oh, yep.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:07:57] But there was a moment where, before we kind of got up and going, you pulled a gift out of your pack for my daughter. And that's when the really the experience shifted for me of like, Oh, Alex is bringing a different, he's bringing his heart to this versus his help. Like, I think guys are willing to help. Hey, I'll take somebody, for me is like, take somebody water skiing or so I'm willing to help because I want to I do love to see people have shiny eyes and a new experience. But I knew that you were you brought your heart to making this day a really special day for my daughter and I and, and you pull out a carabiner, climbing carabiner.
Alex Burton: [00:08:33] Yeah, purple one.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:08:35] It was purple. She's like, it's not just like a it's a color she likes, it's like the like her, like her shock of like oh God is, God is right in this moment when you pulled that out. I'll never forget we have the picture of you guys and her just grinning of like this is a gift. Like who, who brings a gift for her? So I want to say that that moment it , was there, was there any story that I didn't know about with that clip?
Alex Burton: [00:09:00] So, yeah. So, like, that morning, you know, I'm, I'm coming to do this with you guys and and yes, like my heart was that I wouldn't just be teaching you guys how to climb, but an experience, a growth experience, an initiation experience, right. Like, I think we talk about initiation a lot with our sons, but the same is true for our daughters. And so for for her to experience something at a soul level rather than just the cognitive level is pretty special and a hard level, obviously. And and so I'm like, God, what, what do I need to know for today and is is there anything going into this you want me to do, you want me to say, you want me to concentrate on? I was just praying that morning and and He said, grab one of those purple biners and give it to her as a gift. Because I have like, Yeah, I know, I'm a dude. I like purple, too. I think it's kinda cool. So those are my biners, right. Like, I've got, you know, I' have probably four, four purple lockers that I had grabbed a while back and, and so He's like, grab one, give it to her as a, as a, as a birthday present. And, and it was so cool just because, it wasn't even so much, it could have been anything, but it was purple, right.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:34] It made all the difference. It kind of that's when it like shifted and then there's another moment where you prayed over and you didn't say, Let's gather up and pray. We were just like, approaching the wall and you started praying over us.
Alex Burton: [00:10:45] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:10:46] And that was another moment that I was like, Hey, that's that's how I want to bring my my faith and my trust in God to moments. But it wasn't even anywhere on my radar, in that moment, I was so focused on the nervousness within me and the wall, which I think has some parallels to life, right. Of like, how am I approaching this new thing? Am I approaching it in prayer like you did asking, asking God, is there something I should say or bring? You also paused and asked Him to protect us and you asked Him for guidance when it came to a wall that you've climbed many times before. You weren't, you weren't intimidated by the wall, but you still paused with us and helped our hearts go into that dependance. So it was another, yeah, anything you would want to share on that, on that moment?
Alex Burton: [00:11:31] Yeah, like I guess for me, what may be helpful for your listeners to know is like prayer, prayer's not something that I grew up learning. Like, my dad did not teach me on a prayer. I think I heard, you know, my dad was a believer, but but the times I heard him pray were, were literally maybe Christmas and Thanksgiving. And it was the, it was the quick prayer before the meal starts, right. So coming into adulthood, having kids, like there are a number of years where I didn't pray at all because I didn't know how, right. And and it's something that's been developed in me as I've been mentored and initiated by other good men who have a life with God. And and so, yeah, it's kind of funny, like, you mentioned the like not saying, hey, let's gather up and pray. Why, why do we do that in people? Why don't we go, okay, Let's stop, pause and pray. God's with us. He's listening all the time. We can just start talking to Him. So, so it's, you know and and honestly like that, there's been seasons, there was a season early on when I was learning to do that, that was awkward. It's like do I really just start talking to God? Is this person gonna think I'm weird and but I cultivate it because I want that kind of life with God, right. I want that kind of relationship with my Father where I I'm not, I'm not thinking about, oh, I should pray as much as I'm thinking, oh, you're here. God, let's talk about this and let's, and let's invite You into this. And let's invite Your protection, Your authority, Your consecration over our equipment and our climb and all that stuff. So that's, that's become, that that's become my life with God.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:13:38] I could tell it's, it's who you are. And,, I knew about your friendship with Morgan Snyder. Your working, your friendship, your service here with Wild at Heart, with John Eldridge. I knew about your proximity to these men who I've learned from and know of. But, you know, we had never met. You know, what I got to experience was you bringing just the heart of that you have for men all around the globe. Like you lived it for me. It was just a, with no expectations and no like, hey, you had to, like, put on a show for some guy who came. It was just like, I just watched it be so authentic. And then on the walk out of the woods, I knew about the story of your circle of friends that all have deep passions that that you guys kind of created this hat around your passions. I knew about it.
Alex Burton: [00:14:30] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:31] But I was unable to attend the events that this hat was given out for a few reasons, and it really grieved me that I couldn't be there. A couple of friends were there and Morgan invited me to come the Becoming A King retreat and kind of the last one too, of its kind. Who knows what becomes in the future. But I like, I knew of it and the last thing I would have expected on the walk out, cause you'd already gifted half your day and this experience and it was safe and fun and you made it like not took my nervousness down. And you actually helped us really feel like we accomplished and learned so much. For you to take off your hat and hand me the hat actually, like, probably way more than, you know, meant like, oh, like it's a this today's been a gift for me, as much as I was thinking, daughter, that lens. I was like, Oh, this is actually more significant, like God's deposited something in me.
Alex Burton: [00:15:21] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:15:22] But you used a tangible gift like a carabiner and a hat. And I just I wanted to ask, is did you learn or is God like, how did you, how did you move into this like, gift of, like to have like a awareness and an intentionality around gift giving?
Alex Burton: [00:15:38] A couple things to, I guess before talking about gift giving, I think are related to it. I think that time with you and your daughter, you know, obviously wanted to be special for your daughter because this is her birthday and you're doing it for her, right. But but I also knew, like Jeff, your your heart in life, all these experiences you're going through with your kids and the ways you're being intentional to to be very much an intentional dad are shaping you. And and you, you get as much out of those experience as your kids and you've got the harder part of that job, right. Like your kids get to come along for the joy of what you're creating for them, but I know from personal experience, I've got three kids of my own and it's not easy and it's not easy to be really intentional, and it's not easy to reach out to people you don't know and go, Would you help us with this? And, and so my heart for you is just like, I'm so proud of you, proud of you for the intentionality, for the way that you do pursue your daughter's and the way you've, you know, uh, yeah, I guess just been really intentional with with your processes. And so, so part a part of me, and that was in the, in the moment, like I hadn't planned on giving you my hat, but just spending the day with you and being like, Yeah, this is so cool. And I love what you're doing, and I want to honor that. And I want you to remember the kind of the keystone moment with your daughter and your own journey. So I was like, I'm gonna give him my hat and that, and that gift giving it is something that we've, you mentioned my buddies, that I do this stuff with, so for four of us, myself and three other guys, Morgan, Aaron and JD. And, and they're my closest friends, they're my brothers and, and so we, you know, when we were in our thirties, I would say we're all late forties and fifties now. One of us is in their fifties. I won't say which one.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:18:16] Yeah, exactly.
Alex Burton: [00:18:16] You know, who you are Aaron.And, and so anyways, we were in our thirties we were like man, you know, in, in that decade of middle management career is a grind and kids are young, a lot of sleepless nights and, you know, a lot of questions. And and we the four of us looked at each other and were like, you know what we need in our lives, is we need more joy like, and that's the one thing we can help each other with. And that's one thing we can fight together for. And so we created Sons of Thunder Brewing Company, was what we created.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:19:02] For the purpose of joy.
Alex Burton: [00:19:03] For the purpose of joy. And so we brew joy. Sometimes we actually brew beer, but we get someone who knows how to brew beer, do it for us. But literally, it's just been putting our own money into a venture to create things we love and then give them away to our friends. And and one of the, I guess, kind of concepts that grew out of that was the idea of a joy bomb. And so a joy bomb is an unexpected gift in an unexpected time.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:19:36] Yes.
Alex Burton: [00:19:36] And so we've cultivated this idea of how cool is it to, in a moment, unexpected, bless someone with something that is an unexpected gift. And and so, yeah, it was a joy bomb.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:19:56] And I've used that term on many episodes of this podcast.
Alex Burton: [00:20:01] Oh, really? Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:20:02] Hardly even remembering where I heard it. And, and then that's, I mean, that gift of grab some brothers, grab some friends and be intentional about increasing joy because we know that the level that our eyes are shining or sparkling, directly influences our kids and the amount that their eyes are shining. So a dad who's experiencing joy now, of course, there's a version of joy in your thirties, your forties, whatever chapter, or it could be joy that's to the detriment to your family, to the ones you love most could actually take you away. So you need good brothers to make those decisions. But they're, I love how you described, God told you about the carabiner, the hat was in the moment, the the brewery of brewing beer that that was a multi-year adventure of creating. So there's different ways that gift giving could could still all of them were joy bombs.
Alex Burton: [00:20:58] Yeah. [
Jeff Zaugg: [00:20:58] And what if, I mean, what if all of us dads were more intentional with gift giving to our wife?
Alex Burton: [00:21:05] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:21:05] Or our kids, our friends, unexpected, you know, moments of taking a half day off work to bring joy, you know. I just think that that's the kind of thing that could really ripple out and is super tangible. Would you add anything to that concept of of joy?
Alex Burton: [00:21:19] Yeah, I think that, I think just what you're saying, right. Like if you can, if you can look at gift giving is not not just giving someone else a gift, but the idea that, oh, actually, that's not that's not just going to bring them joy, like I think it'll bring you joy. There's nothing more like to to have handed you that hat and see the look on your face like, seriously, you're giving me your hair, like what? And and then to tell you the story of the hat and it's so joyful for me. Like, I probably got more out of it than you did. Like, I'm glad you're enjoying the hat, but it gave me a lot of joy to give it.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:22:05] Well, now you get texts, pictures about every two or three months. I texted you a photo of me wearing the hat in some random moment or place. Another reason I think it'd be helpful to take the rock climbing story into your family. Into, and actually, there's gift giving that falls within this around, I believe, it's called a solo dress, you know, we'll tell the backstory into. Just by, for an introduction, though, you've got three kiddos. Your wife, how long you guys been married?
Alex Burton: [00:22:35] 26 years. August, August 16th was our 26th.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:22:37] 26. So you got almost a decade on us, we're at 17 years. I actually saw the clip from Wild Heart Experience of you guys getting married and like, so I feel like I was there because that's cool you guys shared that that footage. And then how old are your kids? What's the age range?
Alex Burton: [00:22:52] So our oldest is 21, and then our, he's our son, Eli. And then Zoe is our middle one and she is 19 and then Isaac is 14. Actually turning 15 here pretty soon.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:23:13] Cool. Very cool. So and this is probably my sweet spot of I love interviews, podcast conversations with just the chapter, you know, so your youngest is still four years older than my oldest. It's just a fun window, a peak in. So this is probably part of the reason I was like, we got to get the microphones out. We got to try to have this conversation, Alex. The the story of God doing a work in you and to specifically pursue your wife and pursue your daughter in a chapter, I know this was years ago when a lot of this played out. There's just a story that ties in with a gift that now you've had to buy multiple of these gifts, that you've, you've come fully alive in an area that you didn't expect and you felt like, what am I doing? This might be a waste. Could you kind of back up and tell tell the story of your daughter, Zoe, and what it's done for you and her and your relationship?
Alex Burton: [00:24:05] Yeah. So Zoe got into this world of Irish dance when she was seven years old. And it was kind of one of those things where, you know, they invite the girls that were dancing, could invite a friend to a class to check it out.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:27] Marketing tactic.
Alex Burton: [00:24:27] It's a total marketing tactic, like get them in and get them hooked and then the parents have to do it. And so she went and did a class with with a buddy and she loved it and fell in love with it. And so, you know, they're like, oh, hey, it's it's only ten bucks a class for our beginner classes. And like, oh, well, once a week, like, that's, that's no big deal.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:52] It's a slippery slope.
Alex Burton: [00:24:53] It was fine, right. And then pretty soon she starts advancing and she's getting better at this thing and she's becoming competitive in it. And, and so now it's some more classes each week and it's getting more committed and it's actually traveling to competitions. And, you know, it was a whole world I wasn't prepared for and, and in this, in this whole world of Irish dance, there there comes a point where the girl will earn what's called the solo dress. And so up into a certain point, they they just kind of wear a basic school dress that that dance school provides for them. But then they win enough competitions that they earn their first solo dress. I had no idea what that meant until her first solo dress. She earned it. And come to find out, it's is about the cost of a wedding dress. Actually, her first solo dress was the same cost as my wife's wedding dress. Oh, my goodness. And, you know, I was a young dad in those days trying to figure it out, trying to figure out income, trying to figure out how do we live, how do we do the things we want to do? And and and, you know, I remembe, just kind of spiraling a bit and going, I don't I don't know that this is worth it. And and I was I was pretty close to pulling the plug and going, Zoe, I don't think this dancing thing is going to work out.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:26:46] Let's try soccer. Let's try soccer.
Alex Burton: [00:26:47] It's too expensive. You know, let's find you something else to do. And and so I'm going to leave the story there and around the same time there was, there was the catch from God that turned my heart and, in this period of time, God, God had been kind of speaking to me, going, there's there's something you're not aware of, that you need to be aware of. And and He kept encouraging me, ask, ask those guys. Ask your closest friends, morgan, JD, Aaron. And it just so happened that Morgan and JD and I, they they both work with me as well. We were on a work trip and we were helping set up for a filming that was going to happen out in the desert. And so it was just the three of us. And we were around a campfire that night after kind of securing a site where we were, our film team was going to come in the next day and so no one was there. And. And, you know, I kept putting off asking these guys the question. And the question God wanted me to ask is, what do you see in my life that I'm not seeing and what am I missing? And they know me well. Like we we live a lot of life together. And so it felt risky, right? I felt like I don't know if I want to ask that because they might be honest, right. And and sitting around that campfire, God was like, ask them now. And and so I did like, guys, I feel like God wants me to ask you a question. What do you see that I don't see that I'm missing? And they're like, Really? You want us to be honest? Like, Yeah, please. And and oh, man they were. They were honest. And what they said was, Alex, you're, you're in danger of missing your wife and your kids. You, you have this pursuit and love of the outdoors and these, you know, these are the guys I ride bikes with. These are the guys I climb with. These are the guys I ski with and get into the backcountry with. And that's that's a deep story in my life, right. That's some deep love that I have. They said, You go on these trips and like you like what we hear from you about your family, is mainly you complaining. And, It's really sad. And the kicker was Morgan looked at me, in that moment, and he said, Alex, right now, if I could choose who'd be around this campfire with, I would choose my son. Can you say the same? And Oh, it it hit me right, right in the jugular. Right in the heart and, yes, there was a deep core place in me, I could say yes to that. But there is also a lot of selfishness in me that couldn't say that honestly. And and so it was the wake up call I needed. What do you do with that in that moment, right. These guys say you're missing your family, you're missing it. Is it like, you know, like try to just become a great dad. And that's the temptation, right? It's like, Oh, I better get my stuff together.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:30:51] Striving. Yeah.
Alex Burton: [00:30:53] But I knew in that moment, like, this is a heart issue. This isn't, this isn't, now I need the six tips to becoming a better dad. This was, no, I need God to change my heart. I need God to turn my heart toward Mel and toward the kids and toward my life with them. And so the only response I could have in that moment was, okay, God, I need You. I need You to to help me here. And so that that began a journey with that. And it wasn't overnight, but, but it made me start paying attention. What am I valuing? What am I chasing?
Jeff Zaugg: [00:31:37] Yeah.
Alex Burton: [00:31:38] And am I chasing the right thing? So also what came back to me through this season was that, was actually something God had shared with me earlier on. There was a trip that Mel, my wife and I had gone on an anniversary trip and the kids were very young at the time, and we had prayed for each of the three kids individually and had asked God for like, what, what are you saying about each of them? And and they were really cool things. I won't share the details, but one of the things that came out in that time of prayer was and at the time it was actually particularly to my son, Eli, my oldest, and He said, delight in what he delights in. And oh, man, how is the rescue of my, my life with Eli. Eli. Eli in his younger years. I know interest in rock climbing and, he's a computer guy like, he nerds out on computers. At the time he he would play card fight games which I knew nothing about and didn't understand. So a whole world of what my son loved that I had no clue about and that didn't resonate with me, right. And so that was a real guiding force with me, with Eli. Well, that came back to me big time with Zoe. Where it was like, Oh, yeah, delight in what they delight in. And and so and Zoe delights in Irish dance. And at the time, I was about to miss it big time and go, Nope, the dress is too expensive, can't do that. And God is like, no, delight in what she delights in. And so if that's an Irish dance dress, her first solo dress, we're going to buy her that solo dress. And so we did. And I have, you know, over the course of her Irish dance career, we've, I don't know how many dresses, Seven dresses, maybe, we're somewhere in that that neighborhood. And and they've and they've got, the higher and more advanced they get, the more expensive the dresses get, so we spent so much on dresses.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:34:16] You're delighting, fully.
Alex Burton: [00:34:18] But it's been delighting in what she delights in. And the beautiful thing is just the way God caught my heart, turned it towards Zoe and then like, Oh my gosh, I, I wouldn't give up her journey and Irish dance for the world. Like what it's done in her, how it's grown her and developed her has been remarkable. And she she actually went on to even the, you know, the Wilde at Heart Experience, I talk about that story and I think back then she was, I forget like number two in the Western region or something like that. Well, she's gone on she's number one in the western region right now. She's number two in North America, this year, she was 16th in the world in her in her age group for, for Irish Dance. So, she's this phenomenal dancer. And and and it's and it's my joy to watch her and watch the beauty with which she dances, brings my heart so much joy and and even to the point of, there there was a there was a season in the last, say, five years where I gave up climbing. I gave up some of the outdoor pursuits like that that I had before to just be able to have the time to fully invest and and doing some of these things with the kids that they were they were loving doing. It, it's come full circle, like Eli and I are climbing together now. He's 21.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:36:12] How cool.
Alex Burton: [00:36:13] A couple of years ago he's like, Dad, I want to, I want to learn to climb. And and so it's gone from sitting and watching him do card fight games, delighting in what he delighted in, that I had no clue about, to we're climbing together. He did his first two leads this summer. So much joy, so much fun for me but but the joys and being together, right.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:36:37] Wow. Alex the my heart equally is feeling joy and a little bit of like sadness in your story. Partially, because my my journey with my dad was sports were I was pushed to sports that I was good at to show success because...
Alex Burton: [00:36:57] Yep.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:36:58] You know, in that case, my dad was filling a gap of, you know, fulfillment, identity as a dad of a successful basketball player, right.
Alex Burton: [00:37:07] Yeah.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:37:07] He had gaps from his dad passed on. So, you know, some of that pain got passed on to me. And and we experienced a lot of healing from that, but the way that you and your daughter in that video experience with Wild at Heart Experience, you guys' interaction along with what you're share right now fully all matches up with what I want to walk into with my little girls of delighting in what they delight in and and bringing my whole heart to cheer because cheering parents, That's amazing. Cheering parents that bring a more love when their kids succeed. That's what I don't feel it all from you, because of the way God kind of guided you into this journey. It was actually you didn't want to be on this journey.
Alex Burton: [00:37:49] No.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:37:50] There's a sweet purity in that, like your joy of her, even the way you talk about her success in these competitions is such like, look what God did. And like, like I'm just, like, so delighted to be a part of this journey, and that's just threading that as a I need to hear God's voice in that journey. But also what you've shared is super helpful for my heart and brings me great hope. But there's a thread there for sure of pain.
Alex Burton: [00:38:16] Yeah, yeah. Well, and I think that's where, you know, and the guidance for me was a rescue. And I think for any dad to, to think through that idea, because I think that's universal. It wasn't just for Eli when God said it to me. And i's something I've shared with people in the past and that's rescued other dads I know. But that idea of delight in what they delight in, because delight's a whole lot different than, you know, being pleased because they succeeded, right. It's what God does for us, Right. He delights in us and He delights in the things that bring us joy. He delights in the things that we love, right. And so that's the picture of a Father that's pursuing His kids and and not putting pressure on them. But, I would say, putting them on His shoulders to do the things that they, they have joy to do.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:39:31] And it does kind of bring us full circle in, I felt God's delight as I got to climb with you and meet you that first time and so did my daughter and and like we felt it from like you were truly like, not only there with your whole heart, but like you were, it was delightful to watch you experience that with us. And so just fun how that thread kind of connects the two main stories. Would you say a short prayer for all of us dads listening?
Alex Burton: [00:39:59] Yeah, you bet. Yeah. So, Father. Yeah. I love You. And yes, I do pray that You would, You would speak to those areas in each father into his heart as he thinks about his kids, as he thinks about their life and the journey that they are on with You, Lord. Pray you speak deeply into that father's heart to see their kids the way You see them. And Jesus that You would, You would expose the areas that need to be exposed. And You would show those fathers the ways that, that by delighting in what their kids delight in is actually going to bless them in the long term and is going to bring delight into their own hearts as well. And so, Father, whatever has been helpful of this conversation that Jeff and I have been privileged to have, I pray that would sink deep into the heart of each listener and each dad on this podcast. And anything that's not helpful, we just pray, would be blown away like chaff. So thanks again for bringing us together for this time. Jesus name. Amen.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:41:37] Thank you so much for joining us for episode 297 with Alex Burton. Guys, the conversation notes, the links, specifically the link to the Wild at Heart video experience that Alex had filmed with his daughter, that will just kind of bring this story to life, the second half of the story to life. It's like 14 minutes long and it's so powerful. It's going to be linked in the show notes at dadawesome.org/297.. Guys, thank you for listening this week. Thank you for saying yes to ratcheting up the intentionality, ratcheting up the words of affirmation and choosing to create moments for your kids. Guys, you are choosing to be DadAwesome for your families. And as I mentioned in the intro, we're going to celebrate on October 19th at 7 p.m., Central Time Zone. This online event, this live event, sharing ninety tangible takeaways, tangible ideas and challenges for you guys to be DadAwesome. So make sure to put that on your calendar. 7 p.m. Central Time Zone. Thursday, October 19th. All right. Go out there. Have a great week with your kids. Thanks for listening.
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· 9:19 - “We talk about initiation a lot with our sons, but the same is true for our daughters. For her to experience something at a soul level rather than just the cognitive level is pretty special.”
· 38:46 - “The idea of, delight in what they delight in, because delight's a whole lot different than being pleased because they succeeded. It's what God does for us. He delights in us and He delights in the things that bring us joy. He delights in the things that we love. That's the picture of a Father that's pursuing His kids and not putting pressure on them.”
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