347 | Staying Nimble, Coaching Kids, and Escaping Your Comfort Zone (Corey Peters)
Episode Description
What does it mean to stay nimble as a father? In today’s episode, Corey Peters offers his perspective and will push you to break out of your comfort zone to make a difference for your community. Plus, you’ll discover one simple question that can transform your relationship with your kids.
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Corey Peters is a coach, teacher, and father of two living in Iowa. He is passionate about helping to build better men who step up for their wives, children, and community in the name of Jesus. Corey and his wife, Michelle, have been married for 25 years.
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· Ask your kids, “What kind of dad do you want me to be?”
· Celebrate a lot; coach a little.
· Listen to God’s nudge to move beyond your own comfort and bring comfort to others.
· Basketballs are a love language spoken by all children.
· A simple way to get started is to go to a gas station in a rough area and just pray.
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· Apply to join the Fall 2024 DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email awesome@dadawesome.org to learn more
· DA+3 Group Guides (2024 Summer Series)
· 333 | Betting on Yourself, Relearning How to Parent, and Doing Hard Things (Bryan Byrd: Part 1)
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Podcast Intro: [00:00:01] Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where He teaches me what to do with my kids. I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I'm gonna give it my all.
Corey Peters: [00:00:39] Keep an eye out for it. Keep on going. Trying again, believe in yourself. A lot of kids aren't having that. I think parents sometimes are to blame. We're going to call a lawnmower parents and just come and remove any obstacle that the kids have in their life. It's just you're not going to build strong kids if they don't know how to stand up when they've been knocked down.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:01:00] What's up, guys? Welcome back to DadAwesome. My name is Jeff Zaugg and today episode 347, I have Corey Peters joining me. I want to quick give a shout out to an upcoming cohort that we're hosting, the DadAwesome Accelerator. We've had another group that's already done this in the past. We're closing the deadline for applications for this fall's DadAwesome Accelerator at the end of September. And I want to quick give you a glimpse of what the accelerator is from one of our past participants, one of the dudes who was a part of this. Kevin Klaas had this to say.
Kevin Klaas: [00:01:35] Kevin Klaas coming out here from Cape Coral, Florida. I want to give a personal testimony. If you're considering joining one of these or even if you're not, you need to. It will change your heart. It will change your mind. It will change your intentionality and how you show up as a father and a husband, all for the good. This is the most impactful thing that I've done for my personal growth and and just having a sense of community with other men in the last 365 days easy. The homework that they give you and the accelerator group will move the needle in terms of your connectedness at home and connectedness even in your own spirit and soul around how God can use to build up and to mentor and to grow those relationships that are closest to you, namely with your spouse and with your kids. And it's going to have a lasting impact on your personal legacy and your home. So, so if you're thinking about it, do it. If you're not thinking about it, do it anyways. I could not endorse this more highly.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:02:29] So as you can hear, Kevin highly recommends. But what is it? It's a six week all in. We invite only ten dads at a time to go all in to basically me taking it six and a half years of DadAwesome, what I've learned from nearly 350 podcast interviews and all the other work we've done with collaborations with other ministries, and we boil it down to six core themes over six weeks. And then we give you about three hours of homework every week. So we need you guys to be all in. We meet over the lunch hour on Thursdays, noon to 1:00 Central Time, just one hour on Zoom, and then everything else is we deploy you guys to go do the stuff to grow, to learn, to run experiments. And then we match you with a, a battle brothers. Someone else who is going to kind of journey with you and be in touch quite a bit over those six weeks. So that's what the DadAwesome Accelerator is. If you're interested email awesome@dadawesome.org. So send an email to the general email address, awesome@dadawesome.org. You'll receive everything back that you need to know. Our six promises, the six deliverables and the expectations for you guys and a link to prayerfully apply. So that is what we're inviting you guys into with the DadAwesome Accelerator. Okay, so Corey Peters joined me. So Brian Byrd, you guys remember that two part episode I had Brian on. Man was thankful for that. But Brian's first recommendation, he's like, you have to connect with Corey. And I knew right away after a quick phone call, I was like, I have to feature his story and share his insights around fatherhood. So he's from Iowa. He's a coach. He's a teacher. He founded an amazing ministry. He's going to talk about all this. His, his son, Jake, is 19. His daughter Ellie, is 21. He'll introduce his family. Guys, you're going to love this conversation. Here's episode 347 with Corey Peters. Corey, could you just take a moment and introduce your family to us? What stage of fatherhood are you in today?
Corey Peters: [00:04:33] Well, you know, fatherhood obviously is always changing, as you know. And one thing I feel the Lord has been talking to me about is being nimble. Being able to change and adjust, you know, with fatherhood, something that's obviously near to my heart. I'm married for 25 years celebrating that with my wife this summer. Her name is Michelle. She's a schoolteacher, fifth grade teacher. And I've got two kids. Just wonderful kids. You know, I would say that they've made being a father pretty easy, but totally different. And so, once again, being nimble. My daughter is 21, she goes to the University of Iowa. She's finishing, or starting her senior year, a radiation therapy, so she's working with cancer patients and bringing some light and some joy and some hope and with her every day in some difficult situations. She also loves to sing and she hated sports and likes to sing, loves to play the guitar, loves to work out, but just loves God's word. You know, definitely went through some struggles in her childhood. Too, I would say, with friends, you know, and really good callister well, you know, and helped her stand on his word, you know, to really and obviously deepen the worship, you know. When she gets up to lead worship band. You know, people know that there's something different there than somebody that just hasn't had the easy road, you know. And then my son Jake hates singing, hates playing guitar, but loves, loves sports. So we've done a lot of things together. But I'm sure we'll get into it. But not trying to pigeonhole him into what I liked or what I was good at, but let him kind of set the pace for how he wanted to go and what he wanted to do. So but he's played football at the University of Nebraska. Was not in Nebraska fan until about a year ago.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:06:30] They started recruiting him, right? Yeah, yeah.
Corey Peters: [00:06:31] Yeah. Now I'm all in. Got to know the current coaching staff, which is just they're their second year, but also a lot of history, a lot of faith and doing things maybe not the easy way, but God's way in football standing for integrity. And so it's been great to kind of get to know and get to meet a lot of the people through Jake and, you know, through his time there so far.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:06:57] So this chapter, I mean, you're in that launch chapter, your youngest, your son, just after college, like within weeks or maybe a month ago had and you mentioned Nimble. And Corey, I want to just explore that thread a little bit. Like nimble, I think Flexible or adaptable, can you go into a little more what you mean by staying nimble as a dad?
Corey Peters: [00:07:15] Yeah. You know, so I'm a coach, you know, played football myself and did a lot of coaching. And I think they call me a student coach right now. So I work with kids that are struggling in elementary. Last couple of years was high school. I think God has given me gifts there, but nimble means to me what is, what do they need right now? You know, in some areas you're you're good at naturally. I would say I've always kind of been naturally good at, you know, the baby stage, the toddler stage. You know, I used to volunteer at our church in the infant room, but it was kind of funny, you know, parents would come in or moms to drop off their kids and they're looking around and, Hey, how can I help you?
Jeff Zaugg: [00:08:00] You're a football player. Exactly.
Corey Peters: [00:08:01] Is your wife here? No, no, she's she's at church but she's not serving with me. So anyways, I think I kind of had to get out of that business. But, you know, my daughter needed, was to do daddy, daughter dates. You know, we used to dance with the princess dress, you know, and that was great at that time. But as she's gotten older and now she's at the University of Iowa, I've got to change into some of the stages. I would say I've done better at than others. But I just, you know, my son was at a sports one, a lot of times before the start of the year, I'd say, Jake, what kind of dad do you want me to be? So he plays football or, you know, played football, played basketball. I wrestled and football. But and, you know, I've got a lot of knowledge, coached a lot of players, but he may not want me to be his coach. He may not want me to, you know, point out different things in the stands. I always say, you know, I'll up sit back just cheer, clap. Who do you need me to be? And his answer from very young has always been, Dad, I want to be the best I can. So if you see something at any time, I want you to say it to me.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:06] Get out.
Corey Peters: [00:09:07] But there's also, you know, maybe I see 20 things, but you can't do that, right. You know, we celebrate a lot and coach a little.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:09:17] That principle, yes. Celebrate a lot, coach a little. But also, that question of, my oldest two daughters, 10, 7. They kind of know what they want from their dad. Yet, I don't really ask that question of, you know, who do you want? What do you want me to be in this moment? You know, this interaction? This theater performance? This sporting, this sort of camp? Like what, how do you want me to play a role here? And what would you like from me? So that's a great principle. And then, yeah, the ratio of celebration to coaching, that's gold. To nimble though, my guess is stumbling. Force, like is force learning to be more nimble, when you stumble into life and you like to realize, I can't be like I was before. So I got to adapt and change. Can you think of any stories around where you missed it as a dad that actually helped you grow and becoming more nimble?
Corey Peters: [00:10:12] I can think of a lot. I'll say some ministry stuff. You know, when God, and I'm sure we'll get into some of those, but kind of, I would say saved as a 12 year old kind of making this relationship my own. But then as a, you know, a young father, I would say God kind of launched me into the application of it. You know, into kind of maybe extreme situations a little different than your normal situations. But I'm noticing that a time, you know, there's balance. I think as dads, we've got to keep check on ourselves. What is our balance? You know, we just do whatever. I mean, it can be reading, praying, you know, uplifting our wives, you know, kids, sports, you know, even, you know, when you have more than one person who needs you, you know, you got to you got to split it out. But I would say there's been times I've been out of balance, you know, and Ellie, Jake, Ellie was, is very forward, loves to talk to people, can talk with strangers, very confident, would like to go and do some ministry stuff with me. Jake, however, was very reserved, very shy, extremely shy, you know. And so I'm watching, you know, you want kids to be a part of ministry or part of your life, but you don't want to force them and beat them over the head. And just know if you get out to do that, you know, I think we're guilty of that, you know, at different times. And so having to say, okay, maybe I'll, maybe I was a little to pushy with Jake, you know. Maybe draw back with a little bit anyways. So that's a balance thing.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:11:55] Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's still practical. Something that I know is true about you is from Brian Byrd, but also from just reading, listening to your podcast, you know, learning about your ministry. There's something about a heart. Someone when their heart is like they've got a big heart to love people. And you actually spoke this out or you wrote this about your daughter. You said her heart, you said your heart is as big as they come. You wrote that about your daughter and, well, one of your blogs or somewhere you shared. And you talked about her joy and laughter and positivity. And I'm curious, I want to raise four daughters with big hearts. And I think the dads listening, they want the visual, the Grinch, right. The heart, the heart that grows 3 or 4 times bigger. How, was that modeled for you? Or where did you kind of step into like living with your full heart and actually having a big heart of loving others? Where did that come from? What was the backstory there?
Corey Peters: [00:12:54] Yeah, I would have to start with my mom, you know. She had definitely some difficulties growing up. I think she, you know, had a big family, but in an abusive household. My biological father had some abusive tendencies to him, too, and then kind of abandoning our family. And I was not an easy boy. I mean, I had a lot of energy and I got in trouble in school quite a bit. I always remember at conference time, she'd come home and and I'd always just be sick to my stomach. She's hearing all the things I did wrong. And I remember being in fourth grade and she came back and she's tearing up, you know, she's crying. And I'm like, oh my Gosh, so really? And she said, Well, I was the only teacher that ever said anything good about you. But she had the ability to instill in me that you can do whatever you want. Don't Listen to people that doubt you, do whatever you want. And so that obviously helped. And Michelle, my wife, would just kind of click with each other, we balanced each other out. But Ellie's always just had a heart for, heart for people, you know, hear for pulling out the good in them. But I also think that God highlighted me seeing what He's doing in their life from an early age. I'll just share a quick story. God gives you kind of nuggets of who your kids are to Him, and if you can see those and recognize those and feed into those. So I found out my wife was pregnant. I started, I wanted her to know God's word, Ellie, as a baby, as an infant in Michelle's stomach. So I started reading the Bible at night to Michelle's stomach, you know. You know, great for a while, but as you know, you know, going through pregnancy and not too comfortable, maybe you get a little, you know, okay, I'm ready to go to sleep. That's enough. So then, and sometimes that I take things a little far sometimes. So I go under the covers and I got a flashlight and I'm reading God's word to Michelle as she's pregnant.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:14:57] This is the best story. Keep going.
Corey Peters: [00:15:00] So Ellie, Ellie's born in the hospital and the doctors are doing the weights and measurements and stuff like that. And and the nurse goes, you know, Ellie was crying, nurse goes, Hey, dad, you come over here, you know. And so I came over there and I said, Hey, Ellie. And just immediately she stopped crying and she turned her head and looked up and, sorry, in my direction. And the doctor goes, my gosh, she knows Dad's voice. And so anyway, talk to you a little bit about a story, a little tender right now, so you may get a little extra tears from me. And but, you know, and another quick story about Ellie. She went through this phase as a, as a, as a toddler where she thought that if she jumped off of something, that her dad was like Superman and I could catch her. And she was not old enough for me to say, Ellie, I can't do that, you know. And I would come home and walk in the door and she sees me, she's standing on the couch, you know, I'm at the couch and she just jumps and dives off and running, you know, diving. There was one time I was walking down the stairs at our house, you know, in the basement. And I look up and I see her at the top of the stairs and she's got that look at her eye and knew what was coming. And she just goes down to the stairs and I just jumped and I caught her with one hand, you know, and and and later on, and later on I just finally realized I just opened the door and I saw as she was way across the living room and she had that look at her eye. And I knew it was coming, but there's no way I was getting there. But just I don't know, God obviously showed me the need to hear your Father's voice, the connection to her Father and the great trust that she had, what she hears what she believes, you know. So recognizing that was a huge.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:16:50] Corey, this morning, a mentor of mine talked about go to the Source, just get to the Source. You know, go to my heavenly Father is what he was talking about. And, you know, I want my girls and you want your son, your daughter, to go to the Source that you brought the Source to your daughter under the covers with the flashlight to hear your voice. So her father's voice reading, you know, words and promises from her Heavenly Father. And I mean that, I wonder if there's a connection between, like, being so sure of your love for your, you know, your daddy that you can jump off of anything and get caught. I mean, I do think there's something to that, though, Corey, that like, if I am so sure that I have connected to my Heavenly Father, I'm so sure of His protection, His love, He's for me, His affirmation, my identity as a son. I'm going to do things with the require more courage. I'm like, So I think there is a little bit application and when we as dads do things that require courage and this takes me into a little bit of somebody died for you, your ministry. Because when we do things with courage and we go, it doesn't make sense to buy these groceries with this gas or bring I think it's hundreds of basketballs you guys are giving away, I'm not sure how many basketballs. It's, it's infectious for our kids. It actually passes down without even trying. When they see a dad who lives that way, lives for others with a big heart with you. And I'm gonna be all over the place in this conversation. Would you talk, qould you share a little bit about your heart and where somebody died for you, where it came from, that ministry?
Corey Peters: [00:18:24] And so I would say if we go back to my and I can go deeper into some of these as I as I talk about them. But as a 12 year old kid, I was mad that my dad and left. I felt rejected. We go to Christmases at his mom's house and everybody got to sit on this big banquet table, but except my brother and I, we were not allowed to sit there. And everybody got big presents and stuff and we were like a used deck of cards, or used toenail clippers or something like that. And so I think you carry that, and I always had, you know, dreams of my dad and my biological dad coming to doing a game or something like that. You have to be in flag football. I'll be out there. Just maybe, maybe they're going to surprise me just looking over in the stands. And so you just even though I have a great stepdad who I call my dad and have a great mom, there's just a piece missing. And I went to visit my biological father and I found out he's involved in drugs and that really cut my heart. And I came home and I picked up a little Bible, and I actually, actually dug it out, so this is it. Picked up this very Bible, and I just held it up in the and said, Hey, I don't know if I believe in it or not. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to read one verse a day. I'm going to decide whether I believe in you or not. 12 years old, King James Bible, Jesus came alive to me in these pages. Jut His, He's not doing this. He's doing this to the outsiders. And so that started a relationship with God. And then as I get into, you know, through college, my life kind of turned as a 180. God starts directing me towards football stuff and faith and opening doors for me. Once I graduated and came back or came to Cedar Falls, God started really doing some things inside me to get me to go out with my faith, step into hopeless situations and could talk about it, a couple of stories if you want.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:20:24] Yeah, please. Yeah, yeah.
Corey Peters: [00:20:25] Okay. The first one was I was teaching at an alternative high school. Loved it. So these are kids that have been kicked out of different schools, but some kids are, they're good kids. You know, but they fall through the cracks. You try to go to a school that has 1,200 students or 1,400 students or 1,800 students. And some kids just can't do that. You know, they might have everything in the world but just can't do it. So anyway, we had the school of 200. And so I'm teaching P.E. and God keeps showing this picture to me, you know, and I don't know that I really remember, I'm sure there has been. But a lot of times it's the same picture over and over again. And it was a picture of me standing at the gates or standing in front of him at heaven. I didn't see his face, but I just remember looking at my face, knowing that I was there and that I was looking down. I had a real embarrassed and humiliated look on my face. And I mean, he showed me that picture of, I don't know, hundreds of times. Same picture. I'm taking roles in asking this kid. Yea. Yea. And also made a picture right in front of my face over and over again. I'm like, Hey, God, what are you doing? What's going on? And this, you know, just internal voice, you know, on the inside. So what are you doing with the blood my shed? Just being a good guy isn't enough. What are you doing with it? You know, and to me, you know, you told me I was a lukewarm Christian. I probably would have a big problem with that. But God was wanting something else. That summer, I switched jobs, started working at a junior high. I teach P.E. Started a fellowship of Christian athletes. Excited kids were coming, we're impacting kids for the Lord, you know, really proud of that. And we're going to Adventureland. It's an amusement park in Iowa. It's, it's good times. So we're headed down. We've got our two kids, real young, and we go to a gas station and my wife goes in first and I go into this gas station and see this little girl, with her back facing me, she's probably five years old, beautiful blond hair. And I stepped in there and I just had I just stopped and I looked at her and she just her back was facing me. And she was just kind of going back and forth one foot to the other. And I just stopped, and something didn't sound right. And then I looked up at the counter and the dad was up there and he just started freaking, you know, swearing.And I told you, God, you got to quit doing it. Get your ass over right now. Just this. I saw him draw back and I look at him, I look at her, and then she turned around and she had a major facial deformity. Her bottom lip was swollen and kind of turned inside out, and she had drool coming out both sides of her mouth. And, and you'd thought a good Christian like me could have stepped in, could have prayed. Well guess what I did? Turned around and I walked back and I sat in the car and I bawled. I started screaming and yelling, kids. Thankfully, the wife still in the bathroom. But I was like God, I'm nothing. If I can't bring your love to this situation, if I can't live this out, I'm nothing. I don't want to do this. And I just had, just had a real moment. And then how about six months later, God was prompted me to hit the streets, really just to go talk to people. And I remember Him just vividly saying something in my heart. He said, Are you against drugs and violence in your community? I was like, Well, that's a dumb question for you to ask me. You know how I grew up. You know who I am. Why would you ask me that? And right then he showed me a picture of me leaning back, reclining in my La-Z-Boy chair, with my remote in my hand. And so that was a , get going now. And so we started and we just started knocking on doors and we started to share Jesus with people. I had a group around me that helped out. We started to bring in groceries. It's just been life changing for me to really hold me here in God's voice. And then Somebody Died for You started to do this to help fuel that. You know, if we run into somebody who needs a washer, dryer, there's a lady watching 19 kids and none of them were hers and no washer and dryer. Hey, can we help this lady out? You know, and so it's it's been, it's been great.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:24:47] You've been taking, there's different areas in the country, I know. And then also right in your own, your own community. But the, Yeah, the stories of like am I even, as a dad, looking and praying about how do I move from my comfort to a place of, you know, being a little part of the God of all, you know, God of all comfort. Like ushering that to some other people versus seeking my own comfort. And you just there's so many more stories I can have you share. Maybe we will circle back to a few more. But it's yeah, how do we grow a heart for what God cares about most? So it came a little bit from your pain of your biological dad. And then and then that image of being in heaven of like, this image of man, what am I like, what have I done to help with His mission that He set me on? And then a real tangible story of missing it. And now it's into, are, maybe, any how did your son, your daughter, your wife, how have they been a part of some of some of what God's let you to do with with this mission?
Corey Peters: [00:25:56] Yeah. They've been apart the whole way. I would say at the beginning, you know, we're going, we're intentionally going into what you would say areas that need help, you know, dark areas you might refer to, underresourced areas. And so I think unnerving a little bit right away. And then when God started sending me to different places around the country, that, man, each spot has its own story. But you know, here I am from Humblodt, Iowa, north central Iowa, you know, town of 5,000. What, you want me to go South Chicago and walk the streets and take basketballs with me? I'm not even a basketball player. You know, it's funny when I see, you know, I'm 6'2, 6'3,, whatever. And kids will say, Hey, do you play basketball? I'm like, No. And they're like ohhh. But God has used those basketballs and the Bibles as a really open door invitation and a way to really transform the spiritual nature of that community. You know, really, it's, it's, it's amazing what He does with a basketball. He told me it's a love language of children, you know. It really is.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:27:02] Yeah. You, you said, you wrote this, you said basketballs are a love language spoken by all children. So God told you that a language that smashes through religious, racial, socio economic and geographical barriers. And to me, like I've seen this at play specifically with a slack line. So I'll tie this ratchet, a strap between two trees and we'll walk the tightrope, right. You walk on it. And I'm 6'7. I'm a pretty tall dude, just gangly, tall dad walking a slack line. And then my little girls, you know, are learning to do the slack line. But it's a magnet for kids and it's not in the same way as the basketballs you can gift and actually be a source of joy for these kids. I love the basketballs that God gave you that as a tool. I've never heard of. Like, let's just bring. Yeah, it's incredible. The movement beyond comfort because maybe even some dads right now are listening and like, yeah, I want that. I want to, I want to move out of away from my La-Z-Boy chair, away from comfort into being on mission for what the Lord cares about. What would you, just put on your coach hat for a moment, coach me and coach the other dads on hearing God's nudge versus just go do stuff right. Like hearing nudge, but also like it doesn't hurt to try stuff. If we're not if it's not sinning, why not try some stuff? Even if we don't, we haven't heard exactly give basketballs away or, it doesn't hurt to try some stuff and see as God like in this. So how do you coach, how would you coach us?
Corey Peters: [00:28:28] Yeah. Well first of all get to know that Jesus is a loving God. Notice that He's going to take you where you're at. And just recently, you know, so we do a Bible study with young men and we've done that for several years. I was about 3 or 4 weeks in a row where I was missing it. So know that you're going to miss it. And I tell them every week, okay, you know, I missed another one and that's important. It's not do it right or you're kicked out of the club. And I'm thankful for that. So know that it's going to look messy. You know, some of the things we started doing is going to a gas station, you know, go to the gas station near a college campus, go to a tough neighborhood and just sit up by there and pray, you know, and then see if you feel the Lord tugging at your heart or walk up to somebody. Gas stations have been a big, big hub for me. You know, obviously from that first one where I told you where I saw that girl and I missed it. But God's brought a lot of redemption in gas stations. Grocery stores, you know, I mean, how many kids aisles we walk through where we see a parent that's maybe a single parent struggling and going for diapers or whatever formula, You know. Easy to do walk and like a, hey, can I buy that for you? But just people are so, so in need of hope. You know, they are. And it doesn't take much just telling people, hey, you know, I just wanted to let you know Jesus loves you as he works real hard. And I'm just looking at you and just just want to thank you for working hard, but just let to know Jesus loves you. He does have a plan for your life. And now there, and then let it be up to God. You know, I've heard somebody say you don't take somebody 6 or 12 times to, tohear about Jesus before they accept. You might be one, you might be two, you might have an eye roll, you might have a, you know, negative things said towards you have had that, you know, but you might see God work. I've had amazing, I tell people have a ringside seat seen God work and wow is it crazy, you know. I used to, we used to have a, I used to write down a lot of things, you know, people's names or kids names or whatever they would allow me to write down so I could keep praying. But I just would look for this blank sheet of page, you know, before we go out and I come back. I know it's going to be all for just amazing situations that would happen. So anyways, but I'd say step out. With our kids, we're missing an application to our faith. We really are. I've been around kids for the last 20 years. Even kids that are strong Christian families. For the most time, I would pull my Bible out on the weekends and I'd read a little bit throughout the week, but I'd put a back way to do my job. You know, kids are dying on the inside. They really are. They need an application. And, you know, there's nothing better than stepping out. Hey, we don't know what God's going to do tonight. Well, let's go.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:31:27] Yeah, Yeah. Corey, you, I can't remember if you wrote this or it was Brian talking about you. I'm passionate about helping to build better men who step up for their wives, children and community in the name of Jesus. That's true, right? That statement is true.
Corey Peters: [00:31:46] Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I would say that's been a theme. You know, when I was in college, I stumbled on a radio show and there was a guy talking about that he visits all the prisons in America. He was talking about Father's Day and Mother's Day in the cards and Mother's Day, you know, Hallmark, whoever donates the cars, a big forklift comes out and drops and all of a sudden, within seconds, they're gone. Father's Day, same thing, only hardly any of them are touched, you know. And I just, I just remember the the strength that a mom and a stepdad offer me. You know, my step dad came in. I wasn't his kid, you know, but he treated me exactly like I was. So, way to go, step dads. Way to go, single moms. You know, I see these single moms trying to teach your kids how to wrestle, football stuff. How to stance, you know, Way to go single moms. It's that easy. You know, but but I would, you know, here I am in the locker room with all these guys, you know, teaching P.E. who had 30 kids in a class. You know, man, I got to do some men talk. But it is amazing, you know, hearing some of these guys come back and say, hey, coach, thanks. And, you know, we got a guy that's got a daughter with, had some real severe issues developmentally. You know, a lot of hospital trips. And he's said multiple times, you know, thank you for those talks, you know. So that means something. You know, we we need better men out there.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:33:11] Yeah, we do. And I mean, when you said build better men, I mean, that's a coach like really from a coach's want to see things built in their team as a team and as individual athletes. Like you you want to build better versus lead people to say after a season, right. But when you think of building, we hit a lot of topics already, but if you have just a group of say you've got you got 5 or 10 young dads in their 20s there, they clearly love their kids because they're listening to DadAwesome. And they've been listening for the past 40 minutes or so. What would you want to share as some practical ways to build into? Are there any just top of mind things you haven't shared yet that you're like, Man, focus on this or this or avoid this pitfall or any just top of mind principles you would want to build into us at DadAwesome?
Corey Peters: [00:34:00] Absolutely. First thing it's got to come out of your own faith. You know, you can't pour out of a cup that's not poured into you. I see so many dads that are trying to coach their kids are trying to mold them into something. It can be, you know, coaching is good. You know, I talk about being enthusiastic, pulling on the positives first. You cannot give your kid a list of a thousand things they're doing wrong and they go on, you know, you just destroy them, basically. So but you've got to know that you're forgiven and that Jesus is a loving Father, that loves you at your worst and that He's there for your worst and He's picking you up, not kicking you out. And it takes some time. And then out of that, I would say start with the mom. I mean, your kids are going to learn more from how you treat your wife than how you treat them. And like, you know, some people say kids are my world. Well, they better not be. They better not be. You know, your, your wife has to have a priority, you know. And I think we got it backwards a little bit. A lot of people really, you know, you got to you know, you better do what I say. I'm the head of this house, but, man, they can do it a little more. Jesus said to lay your life down for your wife. Jesus is who we're supposed to emulate as men. And if we're doing that, if we're doing that properly, we're not going to have to scream at our wives to get in line. You know, they're not only going to be in line, but they're going to be supporting us. So loving them, Sometimes it's saying I'm sorry, man, I blew it. And sometimes is calling your kids and say, hey, you know what? I just spoke to your mom this way and I wasn't in my best. And I just want to tell her I'm sorry in front of you guys and tell you guys I'm sorry. So, loving the wife, I would say. And I don't know, just being real. Telling your kids you don't know. Being truthful with them. Try not to mold them into something they aren't. Trying to push your image to who they are, you know, but trying to pull out what God says they are. Coach them up. Love them up. There's one little game that I do with a lot of kids and it it's just simple. It's easy, but it's kind of profound. I'll do a high five and I'll do two five up, and I do it in the halls of all the schools. Just a quick, simple smile. Fill them up. And so I'll put my hand out, I said, You better be fast because I've got good reflexes. You know, I'm old, can't run this fast, but I got good reflexes anyway. So they'll say, all right, So they'll give it and I'll pull away, give it again and pull away. Pull away one more time and then I'll let them hit it. And then I'll go, you know, but they need to be pumped up. They need to have hope. But if you talk to a lot of people in education, or people that have worked with a lot of kids. Two big themes come the kids that aren't making it. One is grit and one is resilience. So just keep an eye after it. Keep on going, and try and again, believe in yourself. A lot of kids aren't having that. I think parents sometimes are to blame. We're going to call it lawnmower parents. They're just going to remove any obstacle that the kids have in their life. And you just you're not going to build strong kids if they don't know how to stand up when they've been knocked down, you know.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:37:23] My hope to end is to invite you to pray. Corey, would you pray for us?
Corey Peters: [00:37:27] Father, Thank you for Jeff. Thank you for his heart for the fatherless. And thank you that he's a father to his own kids and a husband to his Michelle. Lord, we just praise You. We thank You. And we don't know, you know, what You're teaching, Jake, through an injury here. I know You're raising him up to be a strong leader. And I know You need to have roots that go down deep, and I know You get deep roots from the wind blowing. And, Lord, I just know that You're going to be there, that You are there. That is dark days are going to be as dark and You're going to find some joy in this. I mean, it's got to be an ego slap going around on a scooter on campus your first few weeks of school. So, Father, would You be his joy? Would You be his peace? Would You be a strength? Pray for my daughter, she is at her last year at Iowa. I would think that she's done a lot in those rooms with those cancer patients. We know that You're bringing Your hope with her and through her. And thank You for my wife and myself that we're in these schools and we're giving smiles to kids and we're, we're sharing that they're special and they have great gifts and are going to be something someday. And we praise you for DadAwesome. And, Lord, we thank you for every man that is listening to this. They think they missed it here or there, Father, would You raise them up? Would You show them value in themselves? And would You get them out there on your game field for the family and for themselves and for the kingdom? In Jesus name, Amen.
Jeff Zaugg: [00:39:00] Thank you so much for joining us for episode 347 with Corey Peters. All the show notes, the conversation links, links to his ministry, also links, earlier I mentioned the DadAwesome Accelerator, the link to apply for that, it's all going to be at dadawesome.org/podcast. You'll find right at the top there, episode 347. Guys, thank you for listening. Thank you for desiring to grow. I want to remind you guys, you will not grow alone. That's why we host the DadAwesome Accelerator. That's why we're always encouraging you guys, form a group, form a group, grab a few other dads. DA+3. We have that whole summer series designed for conversation notes. Ten questions for every episode around let's grow and learn together. To be DadAwesome requires you to grab a few other dads and say, Let's journey together. So just a reminder to you guys. Appreciate you guys listening. Let's go be DadAwesome this week.
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· 34:27 - "You've got to know that you're forgiven and that Jesus is a loving Father, that loves you at your worst and that He's there for your worst and He's picking you up, not kicking you out."
· 35:48 - So, loving the wife, I would say is the first. Just being real. Telling your kids you don't know. Being truthful with them. Try not to mold them into something they aren't. Trying to push your image to who they are, but trying to pull out what God says they are. Coach them up. Love them up."
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